Return to the Caribbean Roots (And all the mayhem that follows)

The Caribbean is a special, special place. It is not for the faint of heart, it is not for those with weak constitutions, and it most definitely is not for those that dislike challenges. The Caribbean is a beautiful battleground for survival, which has a crazy juxtaposition of poverty and insanity with a gorgeous backdrop that seems to seep in to every background in every city within the Atlantic. Your clichéd cruise stops to these places don’t do it any justice whatsoever, it is the equivalent of claiming you have watched a movie after seeing the opening credits (although that was the best part of Napoleon Dynamite. Moving on).

Living the Caribbean life whether permanently or temporarily requires a special blend of patience, virtue, wit, and ability to churn out some necessary change time and time and time and time again. For example, as I type this, I find out that apparently we need to pay to leave the Dominican Republic. Why? No clue. Government crap. Hooray.




For those of you that don’t really know, I was born in Santo Domingo, Dominican Republic---the capital city with so much history I couldn’t fit it in this article. Let’s just say it’s one of the oldest cities in the Western Hemisphere, and has some of the oldest monuments in the same space. Santo Domingo was discovered before America, was involved with the slave trade, was part of a tough revolution in the 1800s, and then went through a strong economy under Trujillo before he went out of control (I’d rather not even dwell into that subject. Look him up) and World War II allowed other nations to emerge into superpower nations—leaving the competitors in the dust. But all that can be discussed some other time.

I am a firm believer in going back to your roots. Even if you weren’t born there, if your family is from elsewhere you need to go back there at least once or twice so you can see the culture you evolved from, to see how far you have come. Visiting another country will always give you a nice different perspective on the way life is lived through religion, food, ideals, beliefs, dreams, desires, and fears. This was my first trip in four years, and boy oh boy was I in for a surprise.





“I am pretty sure that 90% of Americans wouldn’t make it living in Santo Domingo”

This is not an insult, this is not a challenge, this is the reality we all must face. Santo Domingo is an acid trip of a big city. Take the poverty of a third-world nation, the hustle and bustle of New York City, the awkward pricing of San Francisco, the beautiful people of Miami, the sexy backdrop of the Caribbean, the tourist trappings of Orlando, and the architecture of an old-school Spanish town laced with the colorful slums of Rio de Janiero and you have Santo Domingo.

Santo Domingo is the ultimate hustle town; the traffic is immense and brutal, people are always trying to one-up you (especially if you are a tourist), and with limited money for the citizens you need to beg, borrow, and deal your way through this city if you ever plan on making it. It may sound like a dangerous town, but it really isn’t. The people are friendly, but aggressive and won’t get pushed around. The women are gorgeous, but won’t merely pay attention with a few nice words. The prices are cheap, but they sneakily add up on you.

Sidebar: One day we went to the Santo Domingo zoo, which was a disappointment because the security people wanted the place closed as soon as possible. They closed one major section two hours before the park actually closed. They pretty much were pushing us to the exit even though there was still time. So while on our way out there was a big group of schoolkids roaming around. We proceeded to tell them that the snake exhibit (already closed) was not only open, but was also giving out free soda. We walked away from an upcoming ugly scene—2 security guards that clearly had Friday night plans up against 50 kids looking for free drinks. Don’t mess with Dominicans, always remember this.

You can find a way to take a 40-minute trip to a popular local beach (more on that later) by paying just over $1 a person, you just better figure out how to get to that bus stop. The city is structured like billions of squares wrapped around by one enormous square---there are multiple ways to get to places, you just have to know your city geography. The city on the poorer side has undergone some changes though.

Since it is now more of a tourist destination, let’s just say there weren’t improvements being made on the “Zona Colonial.” The same broken down buildings remain…broken down, the streets were improved….to become smaller, and the modernization of the planet hasn’t quite settled in this area unless you count the new tourist traps selling pizza and other non-Dominican foods as modernized. The amount of local hangout spots has decreased dramatically, as well as the amount of outdoor fried food vendors (which honestly were quite awesome).





“Are you drinking again?”
“Not yet…”

Even the nightclub activity had taken a hit on this part of town. The seaside area has gotten a bit calmer, with fewer places to eat and fewer people roaming these streets. It appears that the nightlife has shifted into another part of town. The Colonial Side has rather died down considerably, with few improvements on the way. No baseball fields, no new construction, and still rather messy on parts away from Tourist Country. No basketball courts, no new playgrounds, nothing, nothing, NOTHING.

So, what could people possibly do if the movie theaters, baseball fields, late-night restaurants, and other activities gets moved far from that part of town? Throw any type of celebration that can exist. Santo Domingo (and the Dominican Republic in general) now does a very organized Carnival that although is ages and leagues behind Brazil (yea…Brazil will remain #1 in that category for a very long time) has earned a lofty spot as one of the top Carnival destinations in the planet. The competitions are intense, the ambiance is very lively and happy, the music and drinking is everywhere, and the surprises are left and right. The heavy African roots are all-too-present in this month-long celebration, from the masks to the costumes.




“We celebrate everything. We celebrate Mondays.”

Santiago hasn’t skipped a beat in the last four years, and by the way remains one of the best retirement secrets in the face of the planet. If you are American or worked for American dollars and retired, this is your place. You can always get a taxi ride pretty much anywhere for less than a dollar. You can wash your car, get your tires replaced and fixed for a total of less than $10. With $600 a month, you can get a nice apartment, have all the bills paid for, and be able to cover your other expenses with some money to spare. Santiago also is surrounded by mountains, making the air nicer, and lastly is more spacious which limits the epic traffic jams usually associated with the Santo Domingo coast. You haven’t lived until you are inside a public vehicle going 40 down a road with cars entering from multiple directions between pedestrians. But back to Santiago, it’s considered the second capital city of the Dominican Republic—and it’s definitely the calmer one of the two.



“We don’t stab, we take off limbs. We love machetes.”

Poverty breeds issues, no matter where on Earth you are. Now I know the previous several paragraphs made it sound like Dominican Republic is a dangerous deadly place to roam in, and this is 100% not the case. Does the violence exist? Of course it does, any third-world country can tell you this. But Dominican Republic is still overall a very friendly place, you just aren’t allowed to cross them and never ever seem like you are financially superior either. No flashy jewelry, no rich cars, no extravagant fashion choices; this is a humble island and if you dare try to stand out you will get cut down, simple as that.

I was in the deepest, darkest regions of Santo Domingo but I never felt legitimately scared because I blended in (slightly), didn’t stir up anything. People still knew I was a tourist (because the men love their hair cut short/nearly balding---and I haven’t gotten a haircut in ages), but I never felt threatened. It’s actually the smaller unknown villages that breeds more trouble---the cop activity is very heavy in the touristy regions although it was lacking once you get to the local areas.

There is something interesting happening in the Dominican Republic; it’s become one of the most diverse places outside of America. We are getting Haitians by the seemingly millions from the west, and Puerto Rico (which is an absolute mess nowadays according to the Caribbean word) is quietly flocking to the Dominican Republic from the east. Throw in South Americans, Central Americans, a budding Chinese and Japanese community, and even a dash of Jewish and Muslim presence and you have an island that becoming more and more a fun mixed bag of cultures. The African blood runs thickest here, but there is definitely some Spanish/European/Asian influence being flung around here too.

Haiti nowadays has just 1/6th of the economic strength of Dominican Republic, and this also isn’t including the overwhelming amount of money the Haitian government has taken from the people. Remember all that money we raised to help Haiti after the earthquake? Yea, most of that didn’t make it. Then there’s the fickle issue of Puerto Rico using American money but still not getting American support, which is compounding the existing issues of bad job market, rising prices, and escalating violence. Not knocking the island, but the place is in trouble right now.

Ultimately, the Dominican Republic is a beautiful country with beautiful people, but with very confused feelings. Its most economic period happened during the reign of a leader that killed 20,000-50,000 people. The safest the Dominicans felt was during the reign of a man that wanted to execute the entire neighboring nation and remove the “black” from the island. One of the most jarring images was that on a St. Valentine’s Day sale, someone had posted an “I love you” ribbon on a Trujillo book. Now, some of you may argue that I shouldn’t jump to a conclusion over a single ribbon in a bookstore---but the effects of his reign still has some influence. It lingers quietly in the background…can’t explain how, but the name still roams the streets.



“I’ve been in Cuban kitchens, Puerto Rican kitchens, Venezuelan kitchens, you name it! Nothing beats Dominican cooking.”

Dominican food is on a different level because everything is so fresh. So fresh that you can walk from one part of Santo Domingo to another and get a hold of some free mangos and almonds along the way through the trees. A Spaniard that was staying in the same hotel mentioned that his country doesn’t have anywhere near as many options for fruits as D.R. This is a unique but true statement: Dominican Republic has the best juice I’ve ever had. Always fresh, always filling, and always packed with flavor. The pineapples, oranges, and mangos here cannot be topped; not in fruit form, not in juice form, and not in smoothie form.

Carnation also happens to be Dominican Republic’s Godsend. Evaporated milk is used quite extensively in a variety of juices, smoothies, and in one instance I even saw it get used in marinara sauce to mix with spaghetti. Morir sonando gets a beautiful boost of flavor thanks to evaporated milk replacing regular milk. Morir sonando while relaxing on the beach is one of the best feelings in the planet.

Dominican baking is also something very special. We make delicious, delicious desserts, from the typical cakes to the borrachos which is this thick sponge cake infused with juicy flavor (and if you are up for it, rum). And lastly let’s not forget about the street food. In Boca Chica, there’s a stretch of small shops in which you can handpick one of dozens of fresh fish (Not in ice by the way, breaking dozens of food safety laws) to be fried in oil that is mixed with whatever else has been cooking in it (more food safely laws violated) whether it be corn, yucca, chicarrones, etc. Don’t let the pictures fool you, these fish are darn, darn good. And they usually cost within a nice range of $3-$5.




Special Shout Out To: fried yucca, yucca stuffed with cheese, shrimp mofongo.





“They aren’t allowed to drive the tourists there”

Like previously mentioned, the tourism industry isn’t mingled and intertwined with the locals like in NYC and in Orlando, it’s actually separated. I have stayed in La Romana, Puerto Plata, and the “nice” side of Boca Chica. The main similarity in all of these places? Very, very few locals within sight. It’s almost like a fake Dominican Republic----you get all the aesthetics of the country, none of the hassles. The locals are pretty much shielded off a portion of the beaches and get to fight over the scraps. But these scraps are quite nice; local-infested Boca Chica is a legendary gem. The beach itself has no waves because the waters aren’t as active, and then there’s a wide island in the distance that shields the beachgoers from getting water movement. The result is an ocean as calm as the lazy rivers of your water parks.




At the end of the day, I survived the eight days. Barely. Spent more than I could have ever imagined, walked areas I wouldn’t have dreamed of exploring, and saw things that you just won’t see in any civilized culture outside the Caribbean. Beautiful land, beautiful people, and beautiful culture intertwined with a lifestyle that demands a lot out of you---but rewards you once you begin to settle down and branch away from the hustle life. It can be the loudest place on Earth, it can be the quietest place on Earth. The Dominican Republic and Santo Domingo isn’t for everybody, especially once you leave the tourist borders. That being said, it’s a part of me, its home. And the Caribbean wouldn’t be the Caribbean without the layers of mayhem.

I already miss it.