My 2011 Oscar Picks

It is once again Oscar season, and once again it’s depressing to read because its another year that I have not sold a screenplay or made an actual movie. Depressingness aside, the Oscar nominees are out and there are very few surprises. Once again, another period flick claims the most nominations (Shakespeare in Love will never be forgiven for winning Best Picture over Saving Private Ryan) while critic favorite Social Network nabbed 8 nominations. In this entry, I am going to make my predictions, and also state whom I think deserves the award the most.
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((())): My prediction as to who shall win
[]: Who I think deserves it the most
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Best Picture:



127 Hours (2010): Christian Colson, Danny Boyle, John Smithson
Black Swan (2010): Mike Medavoy, Brian Oliver, Scott Franklin
The Fighter (2010): David Hoberman, Todd Lieberman, Mark Wahlberg
Inception (2010): Christopher Nolan, Emma Thomas
The Kids Are All Right (2010): Gary Gilbert, Jeffrey Levy-Hinte, Celine Rattray
The King's Speech (2010): Iain Canning, Emile Sherman, Gareth Unwin
(((The Social Network (2010): Scott Rudin, Dana Brunetti, Michael De Luca, Ceán Chaffin)))
[Toy Story 3 (2010): Darla K. Anderson]
True Grit (2010): Ethan Coen, Joel Coen, Scott Rudin
Winter's Bone (2010): Anne Rosellini, Alix Madigan

I am going to admit that last year I did essentially the same thing, picking a Pixar flick to win Best Picture. That being said, if the Social Network wins, I will not be totally upset. But THAT being said, if there is a company that deserves a Best Picture addition to its resume, its Pixar. Three years they had the top movie of the year and did not walk away with the Best Picture award: Toy Story 2 back in 1999, Finding Nemo back in 2003, and Up last year (Although I admit Up was in a much weaker crop of movies). And now we have Toy Story 3, a great movie embedded in the roots of Pixar, since this is the ending to the trilogy of the franchise that jump-started computer animation. This should be its year. But, The Social Network will win because Fincher deserves it, the movie is a great film overall, and because it speaks layers about contemporary society. Fincher’s best work, Fight Club, did the same thing, but anarchy is not exactly loved in the world of the Academys.

Best Actor:


Javier Bardem for Biutiful (2010)
Jeff Bridges for True Grit (2010)
((([Jesse Eisenberg for The Social Network (2010)])))
Colin Firth for The King's Speech (2010)
James Franco for 127 Hours (2010)

I was torn between Eisenberg and Franco, but I will give it to Eisenberg because his plea for sympathy is the harshest and toughest, since the main character is a mix of cold, anti-social, and very self-absorbed. It is always to portray someone to root for—not so easy portraying someone impossible to like.

Best Actress:


Annette Bening for The Kids Are All Right (2010)
Nicole Kidman for Rabbit Hole (2010)
Jennifer Lawrence for Winter's Bone (2010)
((([Natalie Portman for Black Swan (2010)])))
Michelle Williams for Blue Valentine (2010)

I am a fan of out-of-the-ordinary performances. And let me tell you, Portman definitely deserves top prize for doing such a tough role.

Best Supporting Actor:



[Christian Bale for The Fighter (2010)]
John Hawkes for Winter's Bone (2010)
Jeremy Renner for The Town (2010)
(((Mark Ruffalo for The Kids Are All Right (2010))))
Geoffrey Rush for The King's Speech (2010)

Bale does not do a great Batman, but his career deserves an Oscar. Here’s to hoping its his year.

Best Supporting Actress:



Amy Adams for The Fighter (2010)
((([Helena Bonham Carter for The King's Speech (2010)])))
Melissa Leo for The Fighter (2010)
Hailee Steinfeld for True Grit (2010)
Jacki Weaver for Animal Kingdom (2010)

Bonham Carter is one of the most underrated actresses this side of the planet. She was great in Fight Club, great in Alice in Wonderland, amazing in Sweeny Todd, and nothing short of superb in all the Harry Potter films. It is about time she gets some recognition.

Best Director:



Darren Aronofsky for Black Swan (2010)
Ethan Coen, Joel Coen for True Grit (2010)
[(((David Fincher for The Social Network (2010))))]
Tom Hooper for The King's Speech (2010)
David O. Russell for The Fighter (2010)

Fincher is one of the few that can enhance movies with bad writing (Alien 3, Panic Room, Zodiac) and its about time he gets his recognition after not even getting a mention after the crazy-insane-perfectly-directed Fight Club. If anybody else wins this award, I will be very disappointed. P.S.: no Best Director for Nolan? Now Inception has NO chance of winning it all.

Best Original Screenplay:



Another Year (2010): Mike Leigh
The Fighter (2010): Scott Silver, Paul Tamasy, Eric Johnson, Keith Dorrington
Inception (2010): Christopher Nolan
((([The Kids Are All Right (2010): Lisa Cholodenko, Stuart Blumberg])))
The King's Speech (2010): David Seidler

The only reason Inception is not getting a nod from me is because of the way it ended. In a very cop-out fashion, Inception was left open for interpretation. That does not make it a complete script, and therefore, I am not rooting for its win.

Best Adapted Screenplay:



127 Hours (2010): Danny Boyle, Simon Beaufoy
((([The Social Network (2010): Aaron Sorkin])))
Toy Story 3 (2010): Michael Arndt, John Lasseter, Andrew Stanton, Lee Unkrich
True Grit (2010): Joel Coen, Ethan Coen
Winter's Bone (2010): Debra Granik, Anne Rosellini

The Social Network has one of the best scripts in recent years, and is the clear frontrunner for this prize. The only one that comes even close is Toy Story 3 and its very deep script full of themes about loving, and losing what/who you love.

Best Animated Movie:



How to Train Your Dragon (2010): Dean DeBlois, Chris Sanders
The Illusionist (2010): Sylvain Chomet
((([Toy Story 3 (2010): Lee Unkrich])))

This is a no-brainer, six ways to Sunday.

Best Foreign Language Film:



((([Biutiful (2010): Alejandro González Iñárritu(Mexico)])))
Dogtooth (2009): Giorgos Lanthimos(Greece)
In a Better World (2010): Susanne Bier(Denmark)
Incendies (2010): Denis Villeneuve(Canada)
Outside the Law (2010): Rachid Bouchareb(Algeria)

Yes.

Best Cinematography:



Black Swan (2010): Matthew Libatique
[(((Inception (2010): Wally Pfister)))]
The King's Speech (2010): Danny Cohen
The Social Network (2010): Jeff Cronenweth
True Grit (2010): Roger Deakins

Inception was all over the world in terms of setting, and with such complex action sequences to boot. Social Network was the better film, but Cronenweth had a much easier time shooting the film when compared to Pfister.

Best Editing:



(((127 Hours (2010): Jon Harris)))
[Black Swan (2010): Andrew Weisblum]
The Fighter (2010): Pamela Martin
The King's Speech (2010): Tariq Anwar
The Social Network (2010): Kirk Baxter, Angus Wall

I am extremely, utterly, and dumbfoundedly shocked that Inception was not nominated. In the climax, there were literally four different sequences happening at the exact same time. What the *(&@&(*#!!!?? I am going to give my pick to Black Sawn, although I have a feeling 127 Hours will fit the bill. But, really, no Inception here?!?!?

Best Art Direction:



Alice in Wonderland (2010): Robert Stromberg, Karen O'Hara
[Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 1 (2010): Stuart Craig, Stephenie McMillan]
Inception (2010): Guy Hendrix Dyas, Larry Dias, Douglas A. Mowat
(((The King's Speech (2010): Eve Stewart, Judy Farr)))
True Grit (2010): Jess Gonchor, Nancy Haigh

The one with the most potential was Alice, but Burton and company really disappointed me. The 50s Disney version had a much better art design and style, and they had a fraction of the budget Burton had. Yuck. This list of nominations is rather unsettling because none of them really have the artsy look with the exception of Harry Potter. So while I think The King’s Speech will win, Harry Potter deserves this Oscar the most.

Best Costume:



[Alice in Wonderland (2010): Colleen Atwood]
I Am Love (2009): Antonella Cannarozzi
(((The King's Speech (2010): Jenny Beavan)))
The Tempest (2010/II): Sandy Powell
True Grit (2010): Mary Zophres

Fact: the Academys loves the costumes of the higher-class…past and present. The last four years: The Young Victoria, The Duchess, Elizabeth: The Golden Age, and Marie Antoinette. Need any more proof?

Best Makeup:



Barney's Version (2010): Adrien Morot
The Way Back (2010): Edouard F. Henriques, Greg Funk, Yolanda Toussieng
((([The Wolfman (2010): Rick Baker, Dave Elsey])))

Not a lot of competition here, eh?

Best Original Music:


127 Hours (2010): A.R. Rahman
How to Train Your Dragon (2010): John Powell
((([Inception (2010): Hans Zimmer])))
The King's Speech (2010): Alexandre Desplat
The Social Network (2010): Trent Reznor, Atticus Ross

If you remember correctly, it was the epic soundtrack to the trailer that began the hype and anticipation for this movie. Inception is leagues ahead everyone else in terms of music. Zimmer definitely deserves his Oscar here.

Best Original Song:


127 Hours (2010): A.R. Rahman, Rollo Armstrong, Dido("If I Rise")
Country Strong (2010): Tom Douglas, Hillary Lindsey, Troy Verges("Coming Home")
Tangled (2010): Alan Menken, Glenn Slater("I See the Light")
((([Toy Story 3 (2010): Randy Newman("We Belong Together")])))

Newman’s soundtrack was anything but original, but this song wraps up the memorable trilogy in a nice package. Toy Story 3 should win this award here, even if it won’t take the top prize.

Best Sound Mixing:



((([Inception (2010): Lora Hirschberg, Gary Rizzo, Ed Novick])))
The King's Speech (2010): Paul Hamblin, Martin Jensen, John Midgley
Salt (2010): Jeffrey J. Haboush, William Sarokin, Scott Millan, Greg P. Russell
The Social Network (2010): Ren Klyce, David Parker, Michael Semanick, Mark Weingarten
True Grit (2010): Skip Lievsay, Craig Berkey, Greg Orloff, Peter F. Kurland

Inception was a technical marvel and should walk away with all the technical awards. This has potential of earning the most Oscars without actually winning Best Picture since the 70s.

Best Sound Editing:



[(((Inception (2010): Richard King)))]
Toy Story 3 (2010): Tom Myers, Michael Silvers
TRON: Legacy (2010): Gwendolyn Yates Whittle, Addison Teague
True Grit (2010): Skip Lievsay, Craig Berkey
Unstoppable (2010): Mark P. Stoeckinger

See previous entry.

Best Visual Effects:


Alice in Wonderland (2010): Ken Ralston, David Schaub, Carey Villegas, Sean Phillips
Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 1 (2010): Tim Burke, John Richardson, Christian Manz, Nicolas Aithadi
Hereafter (2010): Michael Owens, Bryan Grill, Stephan Trojansky, Joe Farrell
[(((Inception (2010): Chris Corbould, Andrew Lockley, Pete Bebb, Paul J. Franklin)))]
Iron Man 2 (2010): Janek Sirrs, Ben Snow, Ged Wright, Daniel Sudick

I am appalled that Tron didn’t get the nomination but Iron Man 2 did. Inception should win this. P.S.: I am sure the young version of Jeff Bridges killed Tron’s chances, because it was a very visually stimulating film.

Let’s rack up the numbers:
The Social Network: 4 wins
Inception: 5 wins
Toy Story 3: 2 wins
The Kids are All Right: 2 wins
The King’s Speech: 3 wins



Bottom Line: So while Inception I predict will win the most Oscars, it won’t take any of the major-major prizes, leaving Social Network to reign it all. We will not have one movie running away with all the awards, so it gives many movies a chance for some temporary Oscar fame. If you think my picks are dead-on, say so. Otherwise, say-so as well. I am open to all discussions.

The Quit Tweeted Around the World

The Bears-Packers game ended less than 24 hours ago but the tweets and controversy are buzzing around as if the game is still going on. This is because of the Bears quarterback Jay Cutler. The man is already notorious for not displaying any emotion or leadership despite his skills as quarterback. Chicago nonetheless likes to look beyond that because Cutler is making this Bears team look like the best Bears team since the 80s; with the infamous Super Bowl Shuffle squad. Cutler is a tough-nosed quarterback that can take a lot of hits and can still deliver at the end of the day. Despite getting dozens of sacks and even a concussion in the latter part of the season, Cutler has remained strong—especially during his blowout win against the Seahawks. Fast-forward to yesterday, with him starting not so well. All of a sudden, with the Bears down by a bunch, he “injures his knee.”

Now, I put quotation marks because unlike most injuries you see in the NFL, there was very little visual confirmation that Cutler was indeed hurt. Cutler would leave the game early, and a third-string quarterback wound up having to play the position in the final moments of the game. It was nearly a movie-like ending, with Caleb Hanie turning it from a shutout into a close match. The talk however is about Jay Cutler and his sudden departure from the game, nearly diminishing the Bear’s chances of entering the Super Bowl. Not since The Decision has a player been so severely criticized online and all over the mainstream media. It is one thing to be injured, but it is a totally different matter to be on the sideline with no ice bag, no crutches, nothing to support/fight your injury. Then to add salt to the wound, he wasn’t helping out the coach, he wasn’t helping the second and third-string quarterback, he wasn’t motivating the team, and his body language clearly wasn’t showing that he wanted to play, and wasn’t showing that he really wanted to go to the Super Bowl. And this is where my sympathy for the guy ends.

This is not just a game; this is the NFC Championship game. This is not just an opponent; this is your rivals of decades the Green Bay Packers. You are not just a player; you are the freakin’ quarterback, the position known for leadership. Jay Cutler, I don’t care how hurt you may have been, but the fact is you didn’t motivate; you didn’t even try to help out on the sidelines. You were just there, just another player, sitting down, or on the bike. We may not know how serious it supposedly is, but it could not have been that bad considering that no doctor was reporting on the injury, and there wasn’t a doctor within a mile radius of the guy trying to heal him.

You are a few quarters away from entering the Super Bowl in front of the home crowd and yet you looked like you couldn’t care less. This is why you are being attacked. We are not questioning your injury (unlike idiot Skip Bayless claims on ESPN…seriously, why does he still work there?) we are questioning your heart and motivation. There are football players that would give up their souls for a chance at the Super Bowl. Quarterbacks like Dan Marino, Jim Kelly (Lost 4 Super Bowls in a row, remember him?), Phillip Rivers, Donovan McNabb, and especially (especially) Brett Farve in the same situation would have fought everyone that stood in his way to be on the field, trying to stage a comeback, for a shot at the title game. Cutler did not look the role; he treated this potentially epic matchup as a measly football game with minimal importance. He broke one of the cardinal rules of all sports.

One of the biggest unwritten rules (along with as a player you should not be stepping on the pitcher’s mound, no canceling football games, no visiting the locker room of the opponent after a game) in sports is that you don’t quit on your team---especially when they still have a chance. LeBron quit on Cleveland last year during the playoffs against the Celtics. Tracy McGrady years ago back in Orlando quit on the team and even admitted it later—now look at how shoddy his career is. Jay Cutler quit on his team, plain and simple. Even if there is a hidden severe injury, you weren’t rooting, you weren’t helping, you weren’t motivating, you weren’t being energetic, you weren’t being involved, and you literally stood there and watched your team helplessly stage a comeback with no emotion whatsoever. This is why all the old-school NFL players (and even some new-schoolers) are verbally thrashing you to submission.Whether you like it or not, as the first quarterback, you are the leader. Act like it.

While I was never a fan of Brett Farve in his latter stages of his career, I have to respect his uncontrollable desire to win football games, no matter how badly hurt he might be. Farve is at least 12 years older than Cutler but would have stayed in the game with a bum knee. Hell, Farve could have lost an entire leg and you would still see him try to win. A pet peeve of mine when watching sports is a quitter, especially a leader that quits. Jay Cutler, you quit. And I will quit defending you, defending your cold personality, and I will quit supporting you. I feel sorry for the Bears, as they had a heck of a run with a rough schedule. The Bears, supporting staff of the Bears, and especially the Bears fans deserve better. If I were running the team, I would quit on Cutler and cut him off altogether. Because quitting isn’t just disrespectful, it’s poisonous to the organization. And he also did it during the f*&^%(#)# NFL Championship Game.

Jay Cutler, I don’t care what the x-ray results say evemtually, you quit, and for that, you are now among the most despicable men in the NFL. Case closed. You may have just injured your knee, but your heart has been on the disabled list all year. Its about time you get that repaired.

P.S. Congrats. to the Packers for getting into the Super Bowl.

A 2-D Rant about 3-D

So I am trying to watch Tron Legacy. I had been very interested in the movie, as it comes from some of the staff behind LOST and has a soundtrack from Daft Punk. And then add the sleek visual style it portrays. However, I did not want to pay the extra money for the 3-D, nor did I want to pay more for the IMAX---because in IMAX the film is only in 3-D. But, the 2-D showings were very minimal, and most theaters don’t even carry the movie if its not in 3-D. This is a problem and needs to end now.

The 3-D craze is crafting a bubble that is inches away from bursting. The movie studios can claim that 3-D has helped the sales of their movies (6 of the top 10 movies in the past year in terms of box office figures came in 3-D) but attendance is dropping rapidly, less people are going to the movies, the experience of seeing a movie has become more expensive (and more irritating). With the 3-D movies all over the place, now they offer the 2-D experience, which means more screens for the same movie. Which in turn means less movies in each theater. Which in turns means less movies getting attention in the theaters. Which leads to many more flops and fewer big hits. Not to mention it becomes harder for the indie films to create buzz outside Oscar season.

Part of my self-education is trying to watch more movies in the theater. But when you have to dig just to find a 2-D showtime for a movie marketed in 3-D, it is not a good sign. The worst part is movies that have no reason to be in 3-D are being done in 3-D. Movies like The Green Hornet, Thor, Justin Bieber, The Last Airbender, Yogi Bear, Alpha and Omega, the final Harry Potter, and even Jackass were made with glasses in mind. Even the Great Gatsby (currently in production), a movie based off an early 20th century novel about pre-Depression has a good chance of arriving in 3-D. Even the fourth Pirates movie is in 3-D, and the first three made more than enough money in the 2-D format. While I am not requesting that we ban all 3-D films, we should limit the number of 3-D flicks. I do not want to pay past $13 just for a ticket.

3-D has become a crutch, and it hurts more than it helps. Look at Toy Story 3, which came out in 3-D. It was a spectacular film, and easily could have been the highest-grossing animated film in American history. It had the decent trailers, the outstanding reputation of Pixar and the first two Toy Stories, the nostalgia factor, and best of all, minimal competition for a few weeks. But, with the 3-D nonsense, Toy Story 3 became more expensive to watch. Surely it did hit the worldwide mark of a billion, but in the United States they couldn't even top Shrek 2, which came out in 2004.

Why? Because the running power of Toy Story was mauled by lack of 2-D screens, while the 3-D screens were quickly being replaced with upcoming competition. Toy Story 2 spent 35 weeks in the box office because of a Golden Globe win, and constant repeat viewings. Toy Story 3 on the other hand spent just 24 weeks in the box office..when it could have been around longer...especially with its strong word-of-mouth. It is tougher to want to see a movie in theaters again when it costs so much the first time. With 3-D, for every hit there are a half dozen flops. With less 3-D screens than regular screens, you have more films in fewer theaters, making it sometimes an adventure to find a movie you want to see.

December was extremely slow in box office standards, and the #1 movie now is the least-attended #1 movie in a post-MLK weekend in over a decade. 5 of the top 15 grossing movies this past weekend are in 3-D. Less people are going to the movies, and it will reach a point in which no studio wants to release a movie in just 2-D to make ends meet, and we will hit a breaking point when we will just stop watching 3-D movies altogether. This happened way back in the 1950s, and then happened again in the 1980s. It is going to happen again, and soon.

Bottom Line: Please, stop the 3-D. They are ruining the experience of going to a movie theater with the family and watching a movie--because its becoming more and more expensive, and more of a hassle. I have yet to see a 3-D movie and I never will, because movies should not rely on gimmicky glasses to entice the mainstream audience to watch them. Perhaps if more people would avoid 3-D movies altogether, we can save cinema.

Until then, I will continue to search for a 2-D showing of Green Hornet.....

Here comes the *yawn*...parade... (A Hollywood Studios Rant)

The Magic Kingdom announced its total revival of what to do with all the land behind Fantasyland. They are getting a new roller coaster (Its indoor, so I don’t have much hope for its intensity), a few new buildings, the long-anticipated Little Mermaid ride, a new Beauty and the Beast-themed restaurant, and more stuff. While it sounds eerily similar to its expansion news around a year and a half ago, notice that there is no mention of the smaller Princess castles or the section devoted to fairies. The gender of the Magic Kingdom is still on the feminine side, but not as strong. Magic Kingdom is getting some love, now let’s look at the other side of the spectrum.

I just saw the brand new parade at Hollywood Studios. Not only has this become the worst parade in Disney World, but it’s the biggest flop of an attraction within the Mickey borders since Stitch’s Dance Party in Magic Kingdom (Which literally did not survive a month). This parade consists of 7 floats, most of which are recycled from the far superior Block Party Bash. And then the new floats have no detail whatsoever on them, they are just blocks for characters to stand on. And then, they don’t even have all the main characters from the Pixar universe. The parade is extremely slow, to make up for the fact that there are barely enough floats to classify itself as a parade. There’s not much dancing, the music is repetitive and irritating after a few seconds, the entire thing doesn’t have a fraction of the energy of the Block Party Bash or even the daytime parades of Magic Kingdom.Remove the acrobatics, the green army men, the plethora of dance music, and the guest interaction, and every inch of energy, and you have the parade now running through the Studios.

There is no Ratatouille float. There is no Wall-E float. There isn’t even a Cars float. Come to think of it, there technically is no Incredibles float. Wait, there's no Finding Nemo float!!! What the heck!?!? There is no Mr. Potato Head, Syndrome, Edna, Rex, and not even Lightning McQueen. This hardly classifies as a celebration when most of the better Pixar characters don’t even make an appearance. Pete and his freakin’ dragon make an appearance in Main Street Electrical Parade—and I can’t think of five people that know of that film’s existence. So why can’t we have some major Pixar characters in this parade? This so-called “Countdown to Fun” was a half-assed idea with minimal effort, minimal planning, and minimal organization. At least have the floats appear in chronological order starting from Pixar’s first film to Pixar’s latest. Instead, Lotso gets his very own float in the end---and he is no Mickey Mouse (did the Imagineers even see Toy Story 3?).

So I wonder why Hollywood Studios got slapped in the face with a ridiculous parade of nothingness, when I realized that Hollywood hasn’t been doing too well in terms of content lately. Whether it’s the dismal Disney Channel Rocks, the rather weak American Idol Experience, or the ripoff Toy Story Mania (which honestly has more potential---but they focused instead on retreading the California Adventure version), Hollywood Studios hasn’t offered anything for the old-schoolers or absolute Disney fans. Unlike the other parks, Hollywood Studios tends to rely on the pulse of the current mainstream to release attractions and ideas, and the results are rides and shows that last very little because they date so darn quickly (See: Who Wants to be a Millionaire). The last time Hollywood Studios got something very nice (Besides the refurbishment of One Man’s Dream) was the actual Block Party Bash a couple years ago; which we just lost.

What upsets me the most is the pure potential that can be unleashed in the Hollywood Studios. This park can bring movies to life, so why are we focusing on sugar poppy music? I had a guest today very upset that Harry Potter was not in Disney, but instead in Universal. I am sure Disney could have really gotten Harry Potter before Universal, but decided to go against the author’s wishes and we got…..um….what did we get instead? Oh yea, Marvel..but wait..we can’t use Marvel. Where is the Star Wars roller coaster? Where is the Indiana Jones ride? Where is the influx of musicals not named after fairybook stories? Where is the martial arts show? Where is the horror attraction? Where is a Western-themed attraction?

Why is the Streets of America just an area for mediocre picture-taking or for paving a path to the Lights Motors Action Extreme Stunt Show? Streets of America has so much potential infused its not even funny. We can have a Frank Sinatra sing-along there. A show concerning musicals that take place in New York, Chitown, and San Francisco. We can have mobsters randomly show up for more entertainment. Hell, even adding some New York-like lights to the Streets of America at night would help. But, the theme of this park: wasted potential. Pixar Place is another example. Where is the music from the other Pixar movies? Toy Story is nice and all, but The Incredibles and Up had far superior music.It is Pixar Place, not Toy Story Land--add some freakin' Nemo music for crying out loud.

Last but not least, that wonderfully big Fantasmic stage. Oh what they can with that stage if they don’t want to spend the money on the actors. A medley of Star Wars, a medley of Spielberg, a medley of Pixar, a medley of musicals, a medley of movies from the Golden Age of Hollywood—these are all feasible with the images portrayed on the water and the special effects. But, instead, Fantasmic, only, and twice a week.

Bottom Line: My rant which seemed to have no point concerns this: I as a film major can see such amazingness in the Hollywood Studios, but yet again we are met disappointment with our latest so-called parade. It’s a sad celebration of Pixar, as not even all the main characters or movies are involved. We really need a new team of Imagineers to help the Studios, because the staff we have now clearly are not film fans. Otherwise, they would do much more (small and large details) to make this park the go-to park for movie entertainment. As for now, we have to put up with what we have…which is not much.

P.S. The new parade sucks. You can see people backing me up here. And here. And here. And here.

The Top 10 Donkey Kong adventures

Donkey Kong Country Returns, and has gotten great reviews (even from me!) and has also become a major success story. Now, of course, being an avid gamer, an avid blogger, and an avid lover of opinionated lists, I have to come up with another list—now involving the Donkey Kong Country franchise. This is a list of the 10 best adventures under the Donkey Kong franchise. P.S. Donkey Kong, Donkey Kong 94’, and Mario vs. Donkey Kong do not count because they are moreso Mario adventures.

10) DK Jungle Climbers

System: Nintendo DS

Surely its much better than GBA’s King of Swing, but none of us honestly have any reason whatsoever to play this game—when you can play the Donkey Kong Country games on the GBA.

9) Donkey Kong Jungle Beat

System: Nintendo Gamecube

The recurring theme of the Gamecube was this: games with excellent potential but ultimately failed to deliver. Jungle Beat falls in this category as it provided a clever gameplay mechanic (bongos to move and attack) but only 8 short levels to boot. Then add the fact that the game was quite easy, leading to you being able to complete the game in a mere day or two.

8) Donkey Kong Land 2

System: Game Boy

I have nothing against the SNES version. But unlike Donkey Kong Land (and 3), part 2 was practically a watered-down version of the SNES classic, not really changing anything unless necessary. So the question is: if Donkey Kong Country 2 exists, why spend $30 on a inferior version with no colors?

7) Donkey Kong Land 3

System: Game Boy/Game Boy Color

Now we are talking. Donkey Kong Land 3 uses a similar plot to its SNES sister, but with totally different levels and a different approach to the adventure. The focus became much less on the exploration and much more on the passing level to level. The level design in this game was pretty good, as only the bosses were a bit weak.

6) DK 64

System: Nintendo 64

DK 64 could have been the next Super Mario 64 or Banjo-Kazzoie; a platform game that alters the direction of the entire genre. Instead, we got a massive, massive game with plenty to see and do---yet was far too easy. A quest that should have taken weeks to complete instead dipped into a short adventure because of the sheer easyness of it all. Luckily, it was a fun quest.

5) Donkey Kong Country 3

System: Super Nintendo

Besides the very poor presentation, poor timing, poor marketing, and unexplainable lack of Donkey and Diddy, this was a darn fun game. The level design was fantastic, the graphics were the best the SNES would ever see, and the deep exploration aspects of the game made it a lengthy quest. But, the presentation, weak payoffs, and lack of the more popular monkeys prevented it from being something...epic.

4) Donkey Kong Land

System: Nintendo Game Boy

This bad boy adventure on the Game Boy is one of the most underrated achievements in gaming history. Just one year after Rare pushed the envelope and graphical limitations of the SNES, they turn around and do the same to the Nintendo Game Boy. With just a couple colors, they were able to transfer the vibrant look of the jungle into the much smaller machine. Now add 30+ original levels, a great soundtrack, and great replay value and we have ourselves a handheld classic.

3) Donkey Kong Country Returns

System: Nintendo Wii

This game lacks the ability to play as Diddy. This game has no kremlings. Nonetheless, this is an addicting, frustrating, intense, and very fun game that nearly perfectly captures the magic of the Donkey Kong trilogy back in the 90s. Hopefully this new generation of gamers can accept this great platform adventure and give it the strong following Donkey Kong received 3 gaming generations ago. My I am getting old...

2) Donkey Kong Country

System: Super Nintendo

There's just something about the original that makes it age like fine wine, it has that special magic. The art style, the music, the fun levels, and the slick presentation is what gives the original Donkey Kong Country its mammoth success and mammoth following for years upon years. Almost like the Citizen Kane of Rareware video games, it would be years before Rare was able to duplicate such magic and fame with a new franchise (Goldeneye 007 anyone?). If you love games, you must play this at least once in your life.

1) Donkey Kong Country 2: Diddy's Kong Quest

System: Super Nintendo

Everything that made Donkey Kong Country so special, was improved upon in the sequel. Surely there was no Donkey Kong, but darn it we had the awesome Dixie, awesome new animal friends, a great barrage of enemies to fight (Pirates! How awesome is that?), among the best level design in gaming history (You fight in a ship, in a volcano, in a crazy theme park, etc.), a very lengthy quest with tons of goodies to collect, dozens of secrets, the greatest soundtrack released by Rareware, and overall one of the greatest video game sequels of all-time. Take notes my friends, because this is a sequel so incredibly good, its nearly underrated because of its lack of hype amongst the greatest.

Donkey Kong Country Returns: 8/10

Back in 1994 a video game ended the close war between the Sega Genesis and the Super Nintendo. Donkey Kong Country took over the gaming world with its extremely impressive graphics, addicting gameplay, and arguably the most successful soundtrack based off a video game up to that point. Rareware became the go-to gaming company after that smash hit, as it created a beautiful relationship with Nintendo for the rest of the decade. Yet after multiple classic games, several hits, and a few latter disappointments, Rareware was sold to Microsoft in the middle of the PS2/Gamecube/Xbox war. 16 years after the original classic, Retro Studios took a stab at the platform franchise.

This recent generation has created an influx of links to the past; ranging from Xbox Arcade to Virtual Console to remakes, to re-releases to re-imaginings. Nintendo, despite not fulfilling their nostalgia potential, has been the best at their linking to earlier days with the wildly successful New Super Mario Bros. Wii---with 21 million copies sold worldwide---in just over a year. So of course the idea of re-imagining Donkey Kong Country had been floating around for a bit. Retro Studios decided to avoid the 3-D and focus back on the basics: simple platform action with co-op mayhem. This back-to-the-basics stance would be the strong point of the fourth DKC. However, not enough linking back would also be its biggest flaw.

Donkey Kong Country Returns has Donkey and Diddy once again fighting to get their bananas back. Just like in the original. The difference is: no Kremlings. You know, the reptile-looking creatures and all their different species. No kremlings, no klaptraps, no krushas, and no King K. Rool. This game has a co-op mode, just like in the original. But, its not tag-team, as both players can control their characters in the same time. In the single-player mode, you can’t choose between Donkey and Diddy, but you can utilize some of Diddy’s abilities. But the KONG letters are back, the barrel blasting is back, the mine carts are back, and even some of the animal friends make a return.

Something enhanced in this edition however is the interaction between the environment and the characters. In the original Donkey Kong Country games, for obvious technical limitations, the environments were usually just backdrops, visually appealing settings for the action in play. In Returns, the background sometimes affects what happens in the foreground; as we see pirate ships launching cannons into the heroes (and enemies) being the best example. The other enhancement is the spectacularly frustrating challenge. Retro Studios, known for the merciless Metroid Prime games, continue the trend with the equally-evil Donkey Kong Returns. The levels themselves were nicely lengthy, but then add the nail-biting frustration factor and you have a game that will last in the Wii for quite some time.

Just like in the original three for the Super Nintendo, Donkey Kong Country Returns has a great variety of levels, as you won’t be playing back-to-back levels that feel the same. The mine cart levels were amazing, the rocket barrel levels are soul-crushing, and every level has excellent design and dozens of secrets and sinister surprises. This is what 2-D games should have evolved into a long time ago with the heavy advancement of technology in gaming. Look at what Call of Duty: Black Ops can accomplish and how far shooters have progressed. Donkey Kong Country Returns is a step in the right direction for the genre, even moreso than New Super Mario Bros. Wii.

Yet what kind of critic would I be if I didn’t point out all the random small things wrong with the game? Donkey Kong Country Returns is a great game, don’t get me wrong. However, its fascinating how Retro Studios went the whole nine yards in certain aspects of nostalgia, yet totally neglected other features. Much like the one tiny fraction of a flaw in Smash Brothers Brawl (Going all out in most aspects, yet half-arsing it in some elements—Subspace anyone?); Country Returns does a great job reliving the magic of the past---yet still missed some of the finer details.

Come on now, where the heck are the kremlings? What kind of Country game does not have the kremlings? That’s like Super Mario without Koopas, like Kirby without the waddle-dees, like Metroid without……the metroids. The animal baddies here aren’t disastrous additions, but there was a much better satisfaction taking out the hordes of different species of kremlings. Now, if you tried so hard to relive the good ol’ days of the SNES, why not bring back the original clan of enemies? Not even King K. Rool was here, that was quite baffling.

The other mishap involves the single-player. You can use Donkey, and can use some of Diddy’s abilities when he is alive and on your back. But….you can’t play as Diddy. Why? Some old-school gamers actually prefer to play as Diddy with his agility and higher jumping ability. So you can make nearly 10-minute long levels, provide dozens of secrets, virtually revive a nearly-dead genre, yet can’t make a second playable character? It is a baffling decision, and I don’t quite understand why they went with this. Retro Studios has their minimal moments with questionable calls—with Prime 2’s multi-player being my favorite example. Don’t let that deter you much, but to the extremely critical these small setbacks might depress you some.

Bottom Line: Donkey Kong Country Returns is a fantastic effort with fantastic payoff, as its throwback gameplay combined with some new-school additions makes for delightful gaming. From the art style to the soundtrack, Retro Studios reached back into the best days of Rareware and delivered classic SNES platform gaming to a new generation of gamers. While the lack of kremlings might anger the purist of Nintendo fans, it should not totally distract you from the fact that this is some of the best platform gaming since DK 64—the last time we had a ho-hum-decent Donkey Kong game. Highly recommend; prepare for some fun, plenty of frustration, and just an overall satisfaction and joy that the SNES had delivered so consistently back then. My 2010 was a great year for the Nintendo Wii.

Who can replace Aerosmith in Disney?

My that last article was a waste of time. Ah well, let’s move on. Now, during a boring day at work, I was thinking: What if Aerosmith got very mad at Disney for some odd reason and decided to drop their contract and move on? I don’t know, it can be for any reason. Something about anything, whatever. But pretend like Aerosmith no longer exists in Hollywood Studios. Who would replace them? Who can possibly replace Aerosmith?

In the last decade or so there has been no true-blue American band that has the attention of the mainstream music scene. Perhaps the last time we had a true successful rock n’ roll band was Pearl Jam, and they are a bit on the sad end to take control of a fast roller coaster. So I have come up with a list of bands that I could see replacing Aerosmith, and also added their chances of even having a shot at replacing Steven Tyler. This is in no order whatsoever. Let’s have some fun:


1) Metallica
Chances: Used to be: 0%
Now: 20%
Perfect Song to Start Coaster: Master of Puppets
Perfect Song to Finish Coaster: Fight Fire With Fire

Before the Black Album, Metallica had no shot, since they were very underground, quite edgy, and quite furious. Yet, their sound turned down just a bit as their music was becoming more approachable thanks to the Nirvana revolution back in 1991. Now they have been seen on The View, and have even hit the Billboard charts. Nonetheless, this band still knows how to rock like the best of them and still own the greatest songs in metal history. What better way to finish a coaster than a Metallica finale?



2) Iron Maiden
Chance: 0%
Perfect Song to Start: Run to the Hills
Perfect Song to Finish: Run to the Hills

Iron Maiden has no shot, as their fiery and intense images would scar children for life. Can you imagine Rock n’ Roller Coaster turning into a firestorm coaster with flames spewing everywhere as Iron Maiden’s most epic song blasts in the background? It would be too epic for words, and would scare the daylights of everybody. I’d love it.



3) Bon Jovi
Chances: 20%
Perfect Song to Start: You Give Love a Bad Name
Perfect Song to Finish: Livin’ on a Prayer

Bon Jovi has a sort of underrated popularity that has maintained them under the radar all these years, but you must remember in the 80s they were loud, popular, and on top of the world. With a slew of #1 hits, some timeless music, and a clean image, Bon Jovi could definitely work. Yet, one can argue they aren’t…”rock” enough.



4) Van Halen
Chances: If they had gotten along: 50%
Now: 30%
Perfect Song to Start: Jump (Maybe Eruption?)
Perfect Song to Finish: Hot for Teacher

If Van Halen had actually gotten along, they would have owned the 1980s, no question about it. Unfortunately for them and all of us, there was too much turmoil and their catalog of great music was reduced to a mere couple of years. They still can’t get along, and their music is still listened to today.



5) Journey
Chances: 35%
Perfect Song to Start: Separate Ways
Perfect Song to Finish: Don’t Stop (Believing)

Another example of tension destroying strong potential. They had their share of great music but what could have been…what could have been. Journey however is certifiably the most popular band from the 80s in today’s music, as “Don’t Stop” is the most downloaded pre-90s song in history. Journey’s chances improve thanks to a positive image, appearances in both Trons, and its sheer epicness that eclipses the best of Aerosmith.


6) Motorhead
Chances: 0%
Perfect Song to Start: Ace of Spades
Perfect Song to Finish: Overkill

This band is far too unknown to have a chance, but their music defines raw, edgy, and fast-paced rock and roll. This band was meant to have a coaster named after them. Unfortunately, Disney isn’t the company to provide that dream.


7) AC/DC
Chances: 40%
Perfect Song to Start: Back in Black
Perfect Song to Finish: For Those About to Rock

AC/DC has the exact edginess Motorhead contains. The difference is AC/DC’s consistent fanbase, revival in popularity thanks to Iron Man, and its mammoth album Back in Black, which alone contains enough music to thrill thrillseekers.


8) Led Zeppelin
Chances: 1%
Perfect Song to Start: Immigrant Song
Perfect Song to Finish: Heartbreaker

Hands-down one of the greatest rock bands in history, utterly destroying anything in its path in terms of modern-day music. There is no band even close to the skill, variety, and epicness of Led Zeppelin. Unfortunately though, this band is very strict with its music, so chances are Disney could never get the band to donate some of their music to a coaster. That being said, rocking out to Heartbreaker while maneuvering through a corkscrew…that would be awesome.


9) Jimi Hendrix
Chances: 1%
Perfect Song to Start: Fire
Perfect Song to Finish: Purple Haze

This would be eternally the trippiest ride ever. Imagine the lava lamp colors blasting in the background as you drive through one of Jimi’s acid trips. I am pretty sure Disney would never be forgiven if they did such a thing. Then again, I am sure the amount of “repeat riders” would skyrocket too.


10) Green Day
Chances: 20%
Perfect Song to Start: Welcome to Paradise
Perfect Song to Finish: Jaded

Like Metallica, Green Day had minimal chance until they struck the mainstream chord far into their career. Changing the rock into classic punk may deter some riders, but the fit can work perfectly with 90s Green Day in the background. Add a little California flavor, and you can transfer the ride to the California Adventure. After all, nothing makes more sense then building rides and an entire park about California….in California. Bitterness gone, let’s move on.


11) Red Hot Chilli Peppers
Chances: 10%
Perfect Song to Start: Suck My Kiss
Perfect Song to Finish: Californication

Red Hot Chilli Peppers might be too edgy in terms of lyrics to gain a spot in Disney, but you can’t deny their great music, great fanbase, and rockability factor. Because hey, if sex-crazed Aerosmith could clean up a little and get a Disney ride, why can’t Red Hot?


12) Pantera
Chances: -9%
Perfect Song to Start: Cowboys From Hell
Perfect Song to Finish: Domination

There is no chance whatsoever that this band will ever even be close to Disney property. But a fella can dream, right? Domination is one of the greatest Amazing-enough-to-be-added-to-a-fast-coaster songs ever composed.


13) KISS
Chances: 40%
Perfect Song to Start: I Wanna Rock n Roll All Nite
Perfect Song to Finish: Detroit Rock City

KISS is no longer as shocking as they used to be, as now they’ve adapted into the American mainstream. Their music, mildly family-friendly sometimes, can definitely work with the coaster, especially rock classics like “Rock n’ Roll All Nite” and the underrated “Detroit Rock City.”


14) Rush
Chances: 15%
Perfect Song to Start: YYZ
Perfect Song to Finish: Tom Sawyer

While Rush doesn’t have the true popularity of most of the bands on the list, they have the credentials, the friendly lyrics, and the killer instrumental work to pull off a great feature with the coaster. I definitely wouldn’t mind some Tom Sawyer as the ride zipped past a loop.





15) Lady Gaga
Chances: 75%
Perfect Song to Start: Poker Face
Perfect Song to Finish: Bad Romance

You know I am just kidding, right?

So, any bands YOU think should replace Aerosmith? Or have I covered all bases? Please reply, let's argue!