This blog (headed by a bitter, cynical, observant countercultural fiend) shall make lists, make observations, create criticisms, and also recommend ideas concerning areas in music, movies, video games, television, the Walt Disney Company, and pretty much anything in particular that catches my interest.
It is the 35th anniversary of one of the greatest comedies of all-time, a comedy that is seldom seen nowadays unfortunately. Hopefully this review will convince you to find the time to find this flick and give it a watch. You won't regret it.
Fun, wild, out-of-control. It is the Wild West with a taint of insanity that beats the comedies of today, 11 June 2007 Author: diac228 (diac1987@netscape.net) from Orlando, Florida
There are movies that push the envelope. There are movies that push the envelope off the table. Then there is Blazing Saddles, a film that not only pushes the envelope, but also eats it, digests it, and disposes of it. Decades later there still isn't a movie quite like this, and could not be released in the sensitive time period of today. Whether it's the extreme racism, the humorous abuse towards animals, or total lack of remorse towards any minority whatsoever, Blazing Saddles bends, breaks, and eats the rules of courtesy. Becoming the highest-grossing picture of 1974, and emerging into one of the greatest comedies of all-time, this is one of those movies that everyone has to see at least once. Here we see Mel Brooks and Richard Pryor at their prime.
In this western satire and criticism, we find a black man being appointed sheriff, must to the disdain of the white citizens of Rock Ridge. What none of them know is that the reason for the hiring is that Rock Ridge holds some very valuable land and a greedy political figure by the name of Hedy Lamarr (oops…Hedley) is doing whatever it takes to obtain it after wiping out the citizens. Unfortunately for Lamarr, the new sheriff Bart, armed with a drunken partner the Waco Kid, is winning the hearts of the folks in the town. Throughout the movie it's a constant struggle to run out the citizens of the town and end Bart's reign as the top cop of the area.
There are very few spoofs that carry a good plot as well as an abundance of comedic material. Written by Brooks and Pryor, they were determined to hold no punches back as they weave a slew of unheard of humor into the film. They range from modern physical humor involving body parts, to racist wisecracks, to animal abuse that would make PETA go psycho, to below-the-radar analysis of the mythology of the Wild West. Blazing Saddles went out to prove that the West wasn't as simple as heroes against villains; we have corrupt politicians, Manifest Destiny ideals that desecrated Natives, Blacks, and Asians, and we have gullible people left and right accepting all the wrongdoing going on. Besides all the racy material, Brooks and company were daring in terms of challenging an entire genre and its portrayal of a beloved time period.
The one-liners, gags, and subtle moments are thrown at you from the beginning to the very end. Thankfully and luckily for Brooks, there was a very talented staff to hold it all together. Standing out amongst the actors was Cleavon Little as Bart, and Gene Wilder as the Waco Kid. The two have excellent chemistry together and play their parts with such ease. Everyone else delivers in once scene or another, most notably the brute Alex Karras as the dumb yet physically overpowering Mongo. His first interaction with a horse stands as one of the funniest moments in cinema history—and certainly one of the most shocking. Madeline Kahn was decent in her Oscar-nominated portrayal of Lili Von Shtupp, as she gives a musical number worthy of yawning over.
Not for the easily offended, Blazing Saddles makes Borat look like Sesame Street. Packing a heavy punch of vulgar language, no religion or minority is safe, as we see insults towards the Blacks, Whites, Hispanics, Irish, Germans, French, Indians, and folks from Kansas. We see Nazis, Ku Klux Klan members, renegade Mexicans, cowboys that violate animals, and worst of all flamboyant musical dancers. Not all jokes hit, but when they do miss, it usually is ricocheted by an even better joke. For example, contrary to popular opinion, the low point of the movie is when it slows down to make way for the major musical number; but afterwards we get a funny sequence involving breakfast and sausages.
The fourth wall isn't broken here either; it's pulverized. At first it is lightly cracked, but when the third act and the main climax approaches, you'll feel like the actors and actresses are parading across the screen and into your world. Adding to the mayhem is one of the longest yet most ridiculous and satisfying fights in history. Starting out in a small setting, it expands into places so unpredictable; it can wind up confusing the viewer. Blazing Saddles has something for everybody, as long as you are willing to laugh at offensive material that exists merely to prove a point.
Bottom Line: One of the funniest movies of all-time, Blazing Saddles holds up well even after all these years. The writing is what excels here, but great acting and good directing also helps. The pacing is a bit slow like the average Western, but with so much humor flying at the screen you won't care. By the time the movie is over you'll see it all; from exploding horses to farting cowboys. See it once for the humor; see it again for the commentary. This is Brooks at his creative peak, and Pryor in one of his few successful cinema stints.
"Someone's gotta go back and get a ****-load of dimes!"
So, Valentine’s Day is around the corner, ready to strike us in a good way, or in a bad way. It is definitely good news for all the lovers and married folks; while it’s just depressing news for those that are single and not as luck in the game of love. While this holiday is definitely a holiday invented by the madmen of Hallmark (Their cards suck, by the way), it does mean that love will be in the air for the entire weekend. Oh snap, it’s the weekend, which means we have to deal with the bull for an even longer period of time. Have no fear, even with the lovey-dovey weekend approaching, I shall offer my two cents in all things life. What? You DON’T look forward to my lists? Well, forget you then, I’m still making a list!
The next list will be in dedication to all the happy-sappy couples out there and for those that actually celebrate the gosh-darn holiday. I’m compiled a list of the 25 greatest love songs in the history of music, whether they are happy, sad, mad, or furious. Just because it ain’t happy doesn’t make it any less a love song, just warning you now. These songs in my opinion stand the test of time and continue to tug the heartstrings from the moment it came out to today. Without further interruption, here we go:
Honorable Mention: “I will Always Love You” by Whitney Houston. Most people list this as the best love song of all-time, but eh, it doesn’t move as much as the 25 I’ve selected.
These also just missed the cut, but because they are very good, will have their small moment to shine.
16) Close to You by the Carpenters (Official Simpsons love song) 17) Beautiful Stranger by Madonna (Underrated gem) 18) Beyond the Sea by Robbie Williams (Excellent finishing touch on Finding Nemo) 19) Dreams by the Cranberries (Kinda creepy in the end, but beautiful nonetheless) 20) Kiss the Girl by Disney (Classic Disney love) 21) Lady by Kenny Rogers (The ONLY Kenny Rogers song you’ll see me listen to) 22) Like a Prayer by Madonna (Power pop ballads don’t get better than this) 23) Love Me Tender by Elvis Presley (Elvis at his most loving, very basic love song) 24) Only in Dreams by Weezer (Epic guitar solo included) 25) A Pedir Su Mano by Juan Luis Guerra (Too happy for your own good)
#15: Song: When She Loved Me Artist: Sarah McLachlan Type of Love Song: Sad
Toy Story 2 is hands-down better than the original; both were nearly-flawless movies but the sequel was superior with this one lonely scene. That one lonely scene where Jessie talks about why she has such hate for children was easily one of the most emotional in the history of animation. Then with the song in the background, it just made things worse. It was a touching moment, mostly because the song is so well-sung, beautifully crafted, and overall a grand production. While the song is about toys and their owners, it can pass off as a break-up song. Just have some handkerchiefs nearby when listening.
#14: Song: Have You Ever Really Loved a Woman? Artist: Bryan Adams Type Of Love Song: The kind that questions you
Have you ever really loved a woman? The song asks you, and then provides a series of situations and pretty much asks you if you’ve ever encountered these sorts of things (Telling her she’s the one, you can see yourself having kids with her, telling her its going to last forever, etc.). Backed by beautiful guitar work, nice vocals, and an overall basic yet tender touch, this song was a massive hit back in the day and to this day is played on soft rock stations everywhere. It never insults you, it never boasts itself as a superior love song, it simply asks a question, and sets the guideline for when you can say you are in love. Love is the most overused expression and word in the history of mankind, so music like this is definitely a fresh breather. You ain’t no Don Juan until you’ve done what this song suggests.
#13: Song: You Oughta Know Artist: Alanis Morisette Type of Love Song: ANGRY
1995 was the year of the angry female. Alanis Morisette and Gwen Stefani were furious at their breakups and released their absolutely best music at this time. You Oughta Know was a jolt of electricity to mainstream music, as this bitter female screams angrily, curses, and paints vivid images of what she wants and how she contemplates her revenge. The song is only 4 minutes long by the way. Supporting the vocals is awesome guitar and bass work by the Red Hot Chilli Peppers gang; Flea and Navarro. Yes, this is the perfect love song for the women that have had their hearts stolen by men that stroll about thinking with both heads. Yes, we have two heads.
#12: Song: This Love Artist: Pantera Type of Love Song: See Above Answer
What happens when a metal-driven band crafts a love song? Screaming, shouting, and piercing vocals, rough lyrics, two guitar solos, awesome guitar riff, and an amazing closing solo. 6 minutes of headbang-worthy beauty. The lyrics? Anything but happy, which is perfect for pessimistic people like yours truly. So if your Valentine’s Day is full of hate; put this song on, blast it to the maximum volume, and prepare for ultimate headbanging.
#11: Song: Let’s Stay Together Artist: Al Green Type of Love Song: I’M SO SORRY!!!
Made famous by Pulp Fiction (although used in sooo many other movies), this soulful funky little tune has a catchy beat, smooth vocals, and wonderful lyrics that you’ll want to croon to your loved one. For this song; you must dim the lights, grab two tall glasses, a nice bottle of unopened wine, and plenty of room for dancing. You can thank me later.
#10: Song: Nothing Compares 2 U Artist: Sinéad O'Connor Type Of Love Song: Sad, remorseful
This song is sad, ridiculously sad. A beautiful love song first written by Prince, it was absolutely perfected thanks to O’Connor’s vocal talents. The lyrics are deep, engrossing, and speak to the heart---before tearing it apart and feeding it to a pack of angry woodpeckers. Being an unusual song to top the rock charts, this song is a beautiful blend of 80s glam vocals with a moving Mozart-ish grouping of strings and drums.
#9: Song: Don’t Speak Artist: No Doubt Type of Love Song: We-just-broke-up-and-I-don’t-seem-to-understand-why
What’s with the depressing love songs in this list? This is the 5th heartbreak song on the list. Well, the sadder love songs are better-crafted than the lovey-dovey ones (See: Ashanti “Happy”). This is another excellent example of pain making great art, as Gwen Stefani manages to sing her best performance by far. Supporting her singing, which ranges from cooing like a dove to screaming bloody mary, is the great drumming, nice guitar solo, and overall blend of ballad and hard rock.
#8: Song: Dreaming of You Artist: Selena Type of Love Song: I-know-we-are-about-to-be-together
While this song will forever be marred because of the timing (After her murder) it’s nonetheless a beautiful love song sung in two different languages. Sung angelically by Selena, its backed by an ever-soft melody and delightful lyrics about a woman who is hopelessly in love with someone who may/may not know of her existence.
#7: Song: Como Abeja Al Panal Artist: Juan Luis Guerra Type of Long Song: Juan Luis Guerra (He is hos own genre)
This man is the Hispanic master of love songs. He already has one on this list, and actually has two more that almost made the list. This is all in one album. Imagine possessing an album with 4-6 amazing love songs; you’ll never lose an argument again. Even if you do (under mysterious circumstances) just pop this album in, and let the love flow from the speakers to your fingertips. The best part of this song? It has a nice blend of dancing rhythm to it; so you don’t even have to do that repetitive slow dance you have to do to every love song. If you love Hispanic music, then you must own his music as well. He’s like the Barry White of Spanish music—minus the deep voice and endless chatter.
#6: Song: Si No Te Hubieras Ido Artist: Marco Antonio Solis Type of Love Song: NOOOOOOO!!!
Outside the United States, everyone knows this song, especially in Central America. Heck, the song should have been a hit here in the States, even if you have no idea what he is saying. Even with the lack of subtitles, you can tell he is suffering, you can tel he just lost his true love, it’s ever-so-obvious in his lyrics, his vocals, his delivery, and the instruments in the background. If you have just lost someone, play this loudly. Even if you are confused as to what is being said, you’ll shed a tear.
#5: Song: Creep Artist: Radiohead Type of Love Song: What do you think?
Boy oh boy, bust out the antidepressants on this one. This song is all-around incredible, from the first second to the last. Even without the singing, you can tell it’s a sad song. Then adding the singing just makes it that much more grim. This song is about a guy who just doesn’t have the courage or self-respect needed to talk to the girl of his dreams. We’ve all been there, done that, felt like the “creep.” While Radiohead isn’t exactly the best band out there (even from Europe), this song is one that anyone can relate to at any time; music that hits that close to reality deserves heavy praise.
P.S. The minimal guitar strum in the song is absolute genius
#4: Song: Crazy Little Thing Called Love Artist: Queen Type of Love Song: Lovey-dovey
All right, it’s all happiness from here. This catchy little tune about love is recorded by one of the best bands in the history of music: Queen. Queen has many other great love songs, but this one absolutely tops them all because of its happiness, grand guitar solo, subtle references to Elvis and rockabilly music in general. You can’t help but get up and dance to this song, no matter what mood you are in. I’m actually dancing while typing this list.
#3: Song: Just My Imagination Artist: Temptations Type of Love Song: a bit sad, but hopeful
While the Temptations are a bit on the overrated side, this ballad is virtually flawless in composition and delivery. Meshing Motown flavor with great lyrics and impressive vocals, this is one of those slow dance songs you shouldn’t mind dancing to. The song is easy to learn, and performing the dance moves in front of your significant other should earn you brownie points. Then again, that could just be my imagination, once again, running away with me…
#2: Song: Can’t Get Enough of Your Love Artist: Barry White Type of Love Song: “Let me put my poems in you,” ~Blades of Glory
If this list were top 50 love songs, then Barry White would undoubtedly be the artist with the most entries. His deep vocals, orchestrated background, smooth and slick lyrics, and then the monologues before the singing actually starts….whew, his wife could never complain about the night life. He is no question the best male singer in terms of love songs, and easily the best pick for whom to turn to when the love life is going sour. A CD with his music blasting in the house; you’ll make love like hyper rabbits injected with hydrogen speed.
No matter what the scenario (You forgot the birthday, you forgot the anniversary, you forgot her name, you brought home another girl, you made somebody else pregnant, you got her sister pregnant, you got her mother pregnant, you got Rosie O’Donnel pregnant, you were watching television while making love, you shout another name in bed, you sing the Transformers theme song in bed, you question why her teeth are crooked, you recommend her to receive implants, you tell her sports is better than sex, you tell her politics is better than sex) it can be recovered with a Barry White tune. If Heaven has a lounge singer, it’s going to be Barry White, with backing vocals by….Barry White.
#1: Song: Unchained Melody Artist: The Righteous Brothers Type of Love Song: The Best That There Is.
This list has seen it all; the good, the bad, the ugly, and the angry. Now, we’ve come to the one song that can bring tears to your eyes upon listening to it. The kind that can stop a room dead on its tracks. The kind of song that will melt even the most heartless of people. The Righteous Brothers version of this half-century old song has it all; sweeping vocals, beautiful usage of strings, and an overall burst of love in every second of the piece. This is more than a song, it’s a work of art, and one of the most underrated and overall one of the best songs in the history of music. I can’t say much more about this besides…..eh, just give me a moment…I am listening to it right now……. When he hits the high note...doves fly, I swear.
If you disagree, then you are just wrong. It doesn't get better than this song.
*sigh*
Gosh, I've gone all...non-heartless on you folks. Well, at least the list is over and done with. This is the closest you'll ever get to seeing me display some soft of..how do they call it? Oh yea, emotion.
Hope you enjoyed the list, even if they weren't all happy love tunes.
Happy Valentine’s Day everybody. Tell your significant other (Or secret crush) how you feel---that is...as long as it doesn't produce dire consequences you'll regret later.
The Guitar Hero and Rock Band saga is quite an interesting one; bringing back the genre of rock music to the limelight and re-introducing the current audience to classic bands of the past and megapast. However, there really hasn’t been enough to milk the franchise as of now. We can do so much more to the musical grouping of games, you’d be surprised. Here are 15 spin-offs that should occur in the Guitar Hero franchise.
#15: Guitar Hero: Nintendo Edition
Nintendo has milked pretty much any sport and fad possible. We even have a Dance Dance Revolution Mario Mix somewhere out there (Might be worth more than 5 dollars approximately 35 years from now). So, come on now, a Super Mario version of Guitar hero would be perfect. Imagine rocking out to the main theme of Mario Bros., jamming away to the sounds of Donkey Kong Country, and then creating an epic power ballad about the Legend of Zelda. Then to top it all off, we have a techno-industrial supermix to the tune of Metroid.
Expert-Mode-Song-That-Will-Kill-Your-Fingers-And-Soul: Any F-Zero master recording will do.
#14: Guitar Hero: Dragonforce Edition
Now, I am sure that there are some of you that wish that certain people wouldn’t play Guitar Hero, ever. We are talking about the tykes that can’t sing, don’t rock out to their music in the least bit, or have the ability to miss every single possible note on easy mode. However, these are the more determined players. Enter the Dragonforce mode. Granted this band is like stabbing your ears with a rusty ice pick that was embedded in dry ice for approximately five years, they do have a semi-decent guitarist (He hits the notes, but has no idea why on earth they are hit). Well now, buy this for the person that you want quitting. He will quit after trying two of their songs on easy mode. In easy mode, your fingers cry for mercy. If you think “Through the Fire and Flames” is as bad and as frustrating as it gets, you are in for a surprise. Yes, it does get worse. Try Heroes of Our Time or My Spirit Will Go On for a change. You. Will. Die.
Expert-Mode-Song-That-Will-Kill-Your-Fingers-And-Soul: Pretty much anything here.
#13: Guitar Villain
Hmmph, way too much rock but not enough hyperventilating death metal. Its time to raise the darkness and create a Guitar Villain installment. We are talking about the best in all metal, death, living, screaming, yawning, moaning, scratching, spitting, and setting things on fire. We are talking about the type of installment that when you turn on the game, the environment around you turns dark. Yea, that’s the one. I’m sure all the religious folks will get a kick out of this.
All right Rush fans, its time to represent! Not all bands rely on just the guitars and drums and all that stereotypical equipment; some bands have some exposure with keyboards. As a matter of fact, arguably (Why arguably, it IS) the best song of all-time has a heavy use of the keyboards, which is the lovely and epic Bohemian Rhapsody. Then we can dwell even farther into the past and play some Mozart and Beethoven. For a mere 75 bucks, you get a keyboard with 5 notes, and a game with music ranging from the 1600s to today. YEA!
Expert-Mode-Song-That-Will-Kill-Your-Fingers-And-Soul: Franz Liszt’s Hungarian Rhapsody #2. Death will be stowed upon those who try to match him.
#11: Bass Hero.
This will basically be the entire franchise of Guitar Hero on easy mode. OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!! BURN!!!!
Expert-Mode-Song-That-Will-Kill-Your-Fingers-And-Soul: For Whom the Bell Tolls by Metallica (have fun with the intro.)
#10: Drum Hero
Personally, I find the best part of Rock Band to be the drumming. I loved drumming to Nirvana and some Weezer. Now, to focus all the aspects of playing music to the drums for one game. That could work, heck, it should work. Easily the most underrated portion in the music-building department, this should give the drummers a bit more respect and fame. After all, how many people have heard of Buddy Rich? I thought so.
Expert-Mode-Song-That-Will-Kill-Your-Fingers-And-Soul: Buddy Rich’s Infamous Stick Trick Solo
#9: DJ Hero
For those not into the actual instrumentation of rock music, you can try scratching records constantly to create some funky sounds. Each game will come with its own turntable as you adjust music and improve them (or deprove them if you suck). This includes battles against Funkmaster Flex and DJ Lethal.
#8: Flute Hero
Oh snap son, for those that are better at blowing into instruments, this will definitely be for you! Every game comes with its flute and the holes are color-coded, like the guitar notes. You can engage in epic flute battles against Ron Burgandy and Johann Joachim Quantz. So, brush up dem blowin’ skillz, and prepare for the ultimate battle for fluting supremacy!
Expert-Mode-Song-That-Will-Kill-Your-Fingers-And-Soul: Through the Fire and Flames---Flute Mode. BUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!
#7: Beatbox hero
To be honest, I have no idea why this is on the list. I have no idea how this can even be pulled off.
Expert-Mode-Song-That-Will-Kill-Your-Fingers-And-Soul: Beatbox battle vs Robotic Justin Timberlake. Be prepared.
#6: Banjo Hero
There’s just something about the sweet sound of the banjo. For anyone that wants a more laid back installment using a guitar-like thing that has less notes and less complexability, we have the good ol’ banjo. Now we can play some throwback bluegrass classics, or finally take on the strange kid on a rendition of Dueling Banjos.
Expert-Mode-Song-That-Will-Kill-Your-Fingers-And-Soul: Dueling Banjos. And you have no help you weakling prick.
Then you have to take on this guy:
#5: Violin Hero
For those that prefer fiddling with the strings rather than plucking them, have we got the game for you! All the strings are color-coded, so now you can play with up to four people and perform violin quartets or string versions of epic music (A strings version of Nookie is definitely in order here). Then, to totally make you question your reasons for living, you’ll engage in a good ol’ fashioned showdown against Nicolo Paganini. Heh. .
Expert-Mode-Song-That-Will-Kill-Your-Fingers-And-Soul: Caprice No.24 in A Minor. Good luck, I will pray for you tonight.
#4: Tuba Hero
This one is on the list because of the sheer potential to annoy the living bejesus out of you. There is no other reason, there is no way you can craft a successful game out of this premise. The sinisterly evil thoughts running through my head are plentiful. Imagine buying the package and having to lug the darn box into the car. Imagine having to set up the darn thing. Then imagine having to place the instrument over your shoulders, and then you having to play the notes correctly and be able to see what’s on the television screen. You’ll want to scream until the game (or you) blow up. By the way, the #4 slot is packaged in with Trombone Hero. Not as big, not as annoying, but you will still want to harm small animals by the time the song is done.
Expert-Mode-Song-That-Will-Kill-Your-Fingers-And-Soul: November Rain by Guns n’ Roses, the Tuba Version. Not the radio edit either. Wow, I am cruel.
#3: Bongo Hero
This is a waste. Donkey Konga exists.
#2: Island Hero
How about we combine most of the instruments from previous entries on this list and create a Guitar Hero dedicated solely to ska and reggae. PRA! PRA! PRA!
Anywho, imagine this: bongos, guitars, drums, bass, vocals, trombones all thrown in together to create beautiful music (Unless you suck, and then you’ll create beautiful noise). Easy mode has all the reggae; hard mode has punk-rock-ska. PRA! PRA! PRA!
Expert-Mode-Song-That-Will-Kill-Your-Fingers-And-Soul: Date Rape Song w/Super Extended Ending by Sublime
#1: Mariachi Hero
If you knew me and loved me enough, you’d know this would be #1. There is no other option; there is no other possible contender for the top position on this already-insanely-unserious list. I would buy this in a heartbeat if it ever happened. Picture this: horns, harps, trombones, drums, bongos (maybe?), heavy vocals, acoustic Spanish guitars, maracas, and of course, sombreros to go with all the instruments. Yes, all the songs will be in Spanish, except for the covers; which will include Stairway to Heaven Mariachi Mode, Smells Like Teen Spirit Mariachi Mode, Lollipop Mariachi Version, and of course, Stan Mariachi Version. For those of you twitching because of the suggestions, you are just in total denial. Mariachi Hero will reach epic sales that no other installment of Guitar Hero could possibly reach. It will catapult Activision into a new plateau of success. Esto es, Numero Uno!!!!!!!!!!
Expert-Mode-Song-That-Will-Kill-Your-Fingers-And-Soul: Mariachi Battle vs. Mariachi Cobre.
Meshing Sex and the City flavor with the complex storytelling structure of Crash, this chick flick rises above the norm with plenty of charm and realism, 9 February 2009
Love or hate Sex and the City, you cannot deny its impact on pop culture in terms of the way relationships are perceived, described, and displayed on television and film. Then with the movie installment, it becomes the highest-grossing romantic comedy since 2005 and also among the biggest of all-time. Clever writing, excellent casting, and the ability to pull no punches is the deadly combination that makes it a hit with viewers and critics as well (though, not so much with the movie). He's Just Not That Into You combines the same elements that makes Sex and the City such a success; except it contains even more heart than you'd expect, and a bit more unpredictability. Unlike Sex and the City, this film is much more believable, much more down-to-earth, more accessible, and overall a better look at the way love works. It definitely isn't perfect, but it's quite a shock as to how entertaining it can be.
In a Crash sort of way, this movie intertwines and weaves together multiple plots that have loose connections with one another; yet ultimately follow the same themes of love and finding happiness. One involves a ditzy hopeless romantic by the name of Gigi (Ginnifer Goodwin) receiving tips from a promiscuous bar manager (Justin Long), another one involves a long-lasting couple not yet married (Ben Affleck, Jennifer Aniston), a third tale involves a recently-married couple (Jennifer Connelly and Bradley Cooper) having complications because of outside temptation (Scarlett Johannson). Last but not least there's an advertising expert (Drew Barrymore) who is struggling to find somebody, anybody. Based off a book which is based off of a catchphrase from the ultra-popular Sex and the City show, this film at the core feels like a younger sister of the phenomenon.
Romantic comedies rely heavily on two things: the writing, and the casting. The casting is definitely superb; we have several Golden Globe and Academy Award-winners and nominees on the front end (Ben Affleck, Connelly, Johannson) and many wonderful up-and-coming stars contributing (Long, Goodwin, Cooper). They all play off each other very well and add to the realism of the entire peace. None of them are heavily infused with makeup and look like they are in an eternal fashion runway show (Like..well, you should know by now). The writing duo of Abby Kohn and Mark Silverstein had a tough job of translating a rather deep and complex story into a film but nonetheless stripped the bare essentials, good dialogue, and did a better job keeping the plots tightly wound when compared to other films in similar fashion (Shut up "Crash" fans, that movie was a writing disaster).
Chick flicks have gotten a bad reputation because of its ability to dwell into every single type of stereotype imaginable. He's Just Not That Into You follows the trend loosely, but then destroys it by throwing in a lot of plot twists, turns, and unexpected surprises. While all the stories have been done before, the manners in which they continue and end vary quite drastically from the norm. This is a refreshing aspect of the movie, just like love you're not sure what to expect. Finally, there are the little breaks in between the tales; you'll see interviews of other random people discussing love and the opposite sex. Ken Kwapis directs with limited pizazz and style, as he presents the story with decent pacing and enough stability to keep you entertained in the rather lengthy running time.
Bottom Line: Neglect what the critics have said, they all usually hate chick flicks in general (Mostly male too, how's that for a coincidence?). Being the counterculture expert that enjoys destroying trends and normal thinking on a daily basis, I can tell you that this is a good movie with great acting, good writing, and an overall semi-realistic and good view on love and its inability to have a set course. Depending on your personality, you may prefer one story over another (also depends on your current relationship status). This is Sex and the City at heart; just missing the fashion, the explicit sex dialogue, nudity, and higher-class aura.
The down-to-earth behavior and nature of this film however allows for it to be more believable and much more personal than let's say the problems and issues of four highly-successful and well-paid independent women. While there isn't as much comedy as one would hope, its still sprinkled throughout and the characters themselves are (for the most part) lovable enough to maintain your interest as you ponder what happens next. Recommend, whether you are single, taken, married, divorced, or have a fondness for creatures from another planet.
P.S. Men, if you are still looking for a reason to see this movie, picture a seductive and promiscuous Scarlett Johannson for two hours. You can thank me later.
A recent visit to Magic Kingdom allowed me to see just why it’s the best of the Disney parks. There is always something going on, there’s so much to do even when things are broken down (2 attraction in my case) there’s always something new to see, something new to hear, and unexpected surprises pop up all over the area. For example, I found a secluded location with available tables (which is seemingly impossible to find in Main St. an hour before Spectromagic) and in the building next to me, there are little sound clips of a man practicing the piano and a woman practicing her singing. Magic Kingdom is truly a special park, and it is a total shame it doesn’t get the respect and care from the higher-ups like in the case of Disneyland. The best part of Magic Kingdom is how it still has so much room for expansion, for improvement.
Now, its time to do a list. That’s right, another list. This list covers the best attractions Magic Kingdom has to offer. These attractions offer the best in terms of overall theming, quality, amount of details, and lasting appeal. These are 15 places I will visit once, maybe more, every time I visit the park. Will you agree with this list? Most likely not, but I honestly don’t care, because I am right and you are wrong. That’s just the truth. Here are the 15 things you must do while walking around the Magic Kingdom.
#15: Walt Disney World Railroad
Despite it not actually being an attraction, it does offer a hintage of Disney magic. There’s just something special about an old-school train, and Magic Kingdom is one of the few places that allow you to experience this classic mode of transportation as many times as you want with little wait. You can sneak behind Adventureland and hear the jungle noises, sneak past Big Thunder and catch the funny details, or get a grand glimpse of the Contemporary Resort as you travel back to Main St. USA. Plenty of beautiful scenery, and at just a nice speed, I always have to visit the railroad at least once.
Fun Little Tidbit: Try to catch the Hidden Mickey while passing by Splash Mountain
#14: Tomorrowland Speedway
Okay, so it hit #4 on attractions that definitely need a change; but what about the first time you technically were able to experience driving a vehicle in real life? As a child, this ride is a childhood dream come true: driving around a beautiful park and smashing into other people that are driving much too slow. The sound of the engine blazing as you zoom past 5 miles an hour just enhances the experience. Then let’s add to the fact that you can see technically 3 different parts of the park while driving: Fantasyland, Toontown Fair, and Tomorrowland. Even if you do drive real cars, can’t miss the chance for some nice snapshots.
Fun Little Tidbit: For a challenge, try driving the entire darn thing without ever hitting the side rails. Good luck.
#13: Philharmagic
I am not a major fan of those 3-D movie things, but this one makes an exception. Blending beautiful music with some clever 3-D effects, Philharmagic is easily one of the best new attractions of this decade.
Complaint: 4 of the 6 movies featured did not have Walt Disney’s touch. On Philharmagic 2, let’s dwell into the past a bit longer, shall we?
#12: Monster’s Inc. Laugh Floor
So it might be in the wrong section of the park (Personally, I think it should be in Fantasyland). So it might be absolutely silly. So it may be quite possibly the corniest comedy club in the history of the planet. Nonetheless, it’s fun, entertaining, and has an immense amount of guest interactivity that may pave the way for a new type of attraction invading theme parks for years to come. Unlike Turtle Talk, guests actually have a chance to hog the spotlight and be the star for just a few moments. Unlike almost all the attractions on this list, each visit to the Laugh Floor can post all sorts of different results. Especially if you wind up being “That Guy.” Perhaps when technology improves even more and Disney does actually start caring more about the Walt Disney World parks we’ll see a truly amazing experience out of this attraction. In the meantime, it’s the 12th best attraction you’ll find in Magic Kingdom.
#11: It’s a Small World
Disney and this attraction go hand in hand like Hispanic rice and chicken. The oh-so-happy tunes, the lovely music, the amazing details, and the overall sugar-coated cheerful theming makes this the best location to visit when feeling the least bit down. Just like what Horizons and Spaceship Earth tries/tried to do at Epcot, It’s a Small World hands Magic Kingdom its overall optimistic theme. The ride likes reminding you that underneath the tough exterior of the world, underneath the hatred and drama, there’s a world of people that care about each other and only want what’s best for their neighbor and the overall environment. This is indeed true, but the media loves drama, and we can never see the definite beauty of this world. Lake Buena Vista and Orlando is a representation of what the world should be; all sorts of different people from different backgrounds and different lands blending and living life together with little/no issues. Most of the violence you hear about the Orlando area actually occurs as you leave the realm of the Disney tourism area. Is that a coincidence? I think not.
Complaint: Disneyland got a recent revamp of this attraction. Where’s ours?
#10: Splash Mountain
Heh, one of the three major mountains of Magic Kingdom at only #10? Yea, this list is going in directions you won’t believe! However, considering that you’ll find no other Fantasyland attraction on this list, this is a tough list to be able to qualify for in the first place. Splash Mountain’s main draw is the huge drop towards the end; but my personal favorite moments in the attraction are how you are thrown into a totally different world, with a story unfolding right in front of your eyes. So while I haven’t seen Song of the South yet, I pretty much know one half of the tale. Don’t let that big drop fool you, there are plenty other drops in Splash Mountain; there’s just one that will allow for you to be soaked to the core. During the summer, this is definitely the one place to visit.
Fun Little Tidbit: This remains the only Disney attraction based off of a work that Disney shuns on a daily basis
#9: Swiss Family Treehouse
Shut up, so the one area that has no wait whatsoever has a spot on the list. The Swiss Family Robinson tree is easily the least appreciated area in pretty much all of Disney World. Let’s just conjure out the details; the entire tree itself was built by Imagineers. Taking up a quarter of Adventureland, this is an area in which you can go at your own pace, you can choose which parts to see and which to skip altogether, you can find awesome views of the castle and other areas. You aren’t being driven around; you choose when to enter, when to leave. There is only one other attraction in Walt Disney World that does a better job at this, and you’ll see it a bit farther down in this list. In the meantime, deal with it; the Robinson Tree is ranked higher than Splash and it’s a Small World. Deal with it. I am a sucker for details.
#8: Jungle Cruise
Originally, this was going to not show up on my rankings at all, because its success depends on the skipper. If you have a horrible skipper, than there’s a good chance you are going to dread the entire ride. Nonetheless, I gave it a pass because of its ability to offer something different and new every time. And we can’t forget the details and ability to throw you into another world full of hilarity, unexpected surprises, and dangerous creatures. Having a hilarious skipper would be icing on the cake. Even if he/she is a total failure, you can’t help but marvel at the dozens of different plants in the ride, the dozens of animatronic creatures, and backside of water. Where else are you going to see the backside of water?
Fun Little Tidbit: Look around at the props; they contain heavy references to Pleasure Island.
#7: Carousel of Progress
One of the few locations with Disney’s actual touch, the Carousel of Progress is a slightly dated, yet incredible achievement in sound, puppet work, robotics, music, pacing, and mechanics. Guys, the entire stage literally moves. If you sit there and think about it, the Carousel represented what Disney wanted out of Tomorrowland, and represents what eventually became Epcot; Walt Disney’s dream of the future. If there is an example of how much Disney loved this country and what he wanted out of it for mankind, this attraction is it. Featuring a beautiful song and a timeless theme about progression in the human race; there’s a special place in Disney enthusiasts’ hearts reserved for this location.
Fun Little Tidbit: The main character is voiced by the writer of A Christmas Story.
#6: Tomorrowland Transit Authority
NOW APPROACHING SPACE MOUNTAIN. The Transit Authority may represent how badly the higher ups backed off the original theme of the “land,” it remains a great place for relaxation, beautiful sightseeing, and a nice overall glance of the busiest section of the park. The vehicles run at a smooth pace, keep you away from annoying crowds, and allows you to see which attractions are busy and which ones can warrant a visit in a short amount of time. Last but not least, you get a nice view of Space Mountain.
Fun Little Tidbit: There is another attraction that uses the ride technology of the T.T.A.: the rather quicker Rockin’ Roller Coaster.
#5: Pirates of the Caribbean
Unlike the bandwagon jumpers of today, I was a fan of the attraction way before the 2003 movie respawned interest in the attraction. There’s just something about the subtle blend of comedy, adventure, and horror that surrounds the 10 minutes of extravagant details, incredible audio-animatronics, and superb musical score. From the queue line (that features all sorts of lovely details and Easter eggs) to the timeless dog-holding-the-key gag, Pirates of the Caribbean is a very unique dark ride that captures the imagination and spirit of a rough-n’-tough time period. The newer version of the ride isn’t half-bad either, especially the clever bit with Davy Jones.
Complaint: More injustice; the Disneyland version contains one more drop and at least two extra scenes.
#4: Big Thunder Mountain Railroad
Usually on my visits to Magic Kingdom, my first stop in Frontierland is the fun, bumpy, clever, and wild Big Thunder. From the soundtrack, to the warning, to the sounds, to the little details, Big Thunder oozes the theme of the Wild West. Featuring crazy hops, fun little drops, and some of the best turns in any Disney roller coaster, the Big Thunder Mountain Railroad is wild enough for the roller coaster fans, but not too wild so that the little tykes can enjoy it just as much. Like I have always said before, its one epic grand finale from perfection. Fix up the third act of the ride and you have yourself one of the Top 10 roller coasters of not just Disney, but of all of Florida.
Complaint: More Injustice Vol. 2: Disneyland’s version is faster.
#3: Tom Sawyer Island
Rumor has it this is the only attraction Disney ever personally actually designed from the blueprints to the final design. Combining the excellent details we expect from the Magic Kingdom with a heavy sense of exploration and curiosity; Tom Sawyer Island is a lovely gem of Disney magic that just begs for more respect, a bit more fixing, and an opportunity for more exposure. In Tom Sawyer Island we have a playground, 3 caves, a fort, multiple places to sit and relax, at least 4 bridges, two places to play checkers, multiple photo opportunities, and the only full, perfect view of the Haunted Mansion. Also coming in at #3 is the also-avoided Mark Twain Riverboat that creeps its way around Tom Sawyer Island and into many parts of Magic Kingdom most guests don’t even know exist. The next time you visit the Magic Kingdom, if you hadn’t visited Tom Sawyer Island, do yourself a favor and spend a couple hours there, get to know the environment better, and catch a whiff of some true exploration.
Fun Little Tidbit: We at least beat Disneyland on something—they no longer have this attraction, they have Pirate’s Lair instead.
#2: Haunted Mansion
Like previously stated, I am a sucker for details. However, it just doesn’t get any better than this attraction in terms of theme and details. Examples of its quality storytelling: the trees surrounding the mansion are all dead, most of the paintings in the ride have eyes that follow you wherever you go, the lights constantly flicker, the tombstones, the one tombstone that comes alive at random intervals, and of course the slew of Hidden Mickeys. The mix of horror, mystery, and comedy has made this a staple for all Disney parks, and the recent additions actually improved the ride even more. Even in the alternate entrance, the Haunted Mansion keeps its theme by using flickering lights, sets of keys, and other miscellaneous stuff.
Then there are the neat visual effects you can find everywhere, from the paintings that present two different images, to the endless hallway, to the clock that has only the number 13 and has a gigantic hand shadow creeping on top of it. That’s just a little sample of what you can find in this funhouse. While Walt Disney wanted the Haunted Mansion to be an area to walk around and explore (Like Tom Sawyer’s Island), there’s no way he can be disappointed in the result of this gem. Predating the cheap scares of Halloween Horror Nights is the creepy house in the corner of the Magic Kingdom that’s full of surprises.
#1: Space Mountain
Walt Disney was obsessed with the future of mankind and space, the final frontier. Examples of this can be found in classic/now extinct attractions like Mission to Mars, the entire section of Tomorrowland, his plans for Epcot, his television specials about space, and of course, this masterpiece. Space Mountain, originally an idea by Disney himself, expanded upon its simple idea and stormed to Magic Kingdom years after the park had opened. Lurking inside the mammoth structure is an intense dark ride that tests your imagination and delivers some of the best thrills in any Disney attraction out there.
The architecture alone is startling; it’s beautifully futuristic, there really isn’t another way I can describe it. The blend of pearl white with shades of blue from the outside makes it a sight to see, even from the miles-away Transportation and Ticket Center and Polynesian Resort. It always looks better than the castle, even at night (with the exception of Christmastime). Then there is the queue line, which blends melancholy images of deep, deep space with relaxing music known simply as Star Tunnel. Approaching closer to the ride you’ll see more images of space; ranging from space stations to the planet Mars. As you make it to the end of the queue, there are images of asteroids flying around, the T.T.A. trotting along behind you, and the rocket ships above you flying around in seemingly blistering speeds.
The ride itself is two minutes of bumpy fun. After a period of blue lights, you lift up, and then blast off in a series of twists, turns, drops, slowdowns, bursts of speed, and constant close calls with other rocket ships, the T.T.A., and the ride itself. Then during the post show, you get a small glimpse of what might be the plot/story of the entire attraction; which are astronauts collecting fossils to be sent back to a near-future Earth for study. In the meantime, there’s epic music blasting in the background, congratulating your survival and arrival to your destination.
Space Mountain is the best attraction in the Magic Kingdom because of its epic scale, old-school thrills, excellent music, and optimistic theme about the future of space travel. While the structure may seem simple and even a bit dated, there honestly isn’t another attraction in all of Florida quite like Space Mountain; as a matter of fact few have even tried.
In April of this year, the attraction finally gets its long-deserved update. So the best attraction of Magic Kingdom gets an upgrade. With the success and quality boosts of Haunted Mansion and Pirates, one can only ponder about what they will do to this technological, architectural, and engineering work of art.
I’ve had my grievances towards the NFL, much more than usual. Whether it’s the overpopulating hoopla over certain extremely overrated teams like the Cowboys, Bills, Jets, Eagles, Redskins, Giants, etc., or the ridiculous amount of stupid penalties and fines being flung around like free candy, or even the inability to celebrate after a touchdown; the NFL is trying very hard to suck the very energy of its own sport. My viewing time towards the Super Bowl dwindled a bit, even with my good ol’ Dolphins adopting college football-like offense and advancing to the title. The NFL needs a bit of changing, that’s for sure. However, all this is thrown out the window with the Super Bowl I just witnessed.
Holy crap on a dipstick that was some of the tensest and crazy fourth quarter action I’ve ever seen. In a game that featured three of among the best plays in Super Bowl history, crazy lead changes, crazy close calls, players about to fight opposing team coaches, great plays reversed, and of course, penalties up the ying yang. Topping it all is a rather surprisingly awesome performance by Bruce himself. What else can I say? Yikes man, the NFL looked good for this one night---until the final play.
Let’s start with the Cardinals. With perhaps the easiest schedule out there, the Cardinals tweaked into the playoffs because of the easy division and easy schedule. No other team had such rough numbers entering the playoffs. However, they became a different team in the playoffs, and especially the Super Bowl. This team was hungry, just like the underrated and underappreciated Rays back in 08’ when they went to the World Series. Kurt Warner played like his old self and definitely outplayed Big Ben in the big game. There were two major reasons why the Cardinals lost: Penalties and the 100-Yard Interception. Both teams had their share of penalties, but boy did the Cardinals learn that the NFL doesn’t like physical contact anymore.
Personally, I thought the refs were consistent, and the defense made some stupid, stupid, stupid decisions and penalties. Over 100 penalty yards? Seriously? Then that final drive, when they just couldn’t stop anybody, and were way too far downfield, allowing for the Steelers to hack away on a charge to the end zone. Then let’s go to the 100-yard interception; that was a blend of good playcalling by the defense with bad luck against the Cardinals. Longest play in Super Bowl history, and easily the main reason why Pittsburgh has a 6th trophy. It went from a potential 14-10 to a 17-7 halftime show.
The Steelers, I saw them winning this game, and by a much wider margin than 4 points. They had the defense, experience, and grueling matches to be able to prepare for the big showdown. Big Ben is overrated, sorry guys, but he is. Outside the final drive, albeit amazing, he didn’t perform that well. Exactly like Manning a year ago, Big Ben made the magic when he needed it the most; and of course the Arizona defense collapsed on that final drive too. The Steelers got quite a scare by giving away such a lead. And for those complaining that the officiating was in favor of the Steelers, the Cardinals did get an odd, questionable penalty that went from a 20+ yard play to a safety.
The fourth quarter was a roller coaster of emotions. Ranging from anger to shock to disbelief to happiness to sadness to confusion to shouting anarchy; the 4th quarter pretty much had it all. Kurt Warner was amazing, however, the defense on that final drive; that was just embarrassing. 3 minutes left, all they needed was one final stop; at least cut it to a field goal. Unfortunately, they left people wide open, played too deep, and just couldn’t get the job done. Warner should retire because this is probably as close as he’ll ever get with the Cardinals. Poor coaching in the end there. The game was a nail biter, Fitzgerald and Warner played spectacular. Another lingering question was: why did it take so long for the ball to reach Fitzgerald? He was basically quiet in the first half. After that amazing run by Fitzgerald, I wanted the Cardinals to win it all and complete the incredible upset.
Last, but not least, the final, final play. The game was grand; the game was epic, a lot of storylines---but no major review on the fumble/potential interception? This is where the NFL fails miserably. The stupid, stupid, stupid rule about no red flags in the final two minutes; why? If we are to ban this, it should be up to the refs to question every single questionable play. Warner I believe could have gotten the call and the game could have gone down to yet another play. Unfortunately, for whatever reason, whether its conspiracy, a willingness to just end all the drama, or whatever, it didn’t happen. It’s sad that such a marvelous game will be remembered for the one play that could have continued the game, but the refs didn’t allow for the opportunity to happen.
The NFL’s biggest issues were all out displayed for everyone to see on that final drive. The NFL has too many lame rules, and the refs do not know all of them. Some fans know more about the league and its rules than the people officiating them. This isn’t the first time a playoff game ended because of questionable refs not trying to review what occurred. Few people remember this one, but the 49ers and the Giants playoff game in 2003 also ended with refs not checking the play and resulted in making a mistake that cost the Giants the entire game. That’s just one obscure fun reference.
Bottom Line: Amazing game that proves why the Super Bowl remains the most-watched game in America—however, also proved that the NFL needs some fixing. Of all the umpires and refs in all major sports, the NFL ones are clearly the worst, and they have the most help and support to keep them from making boneheaded decisions. Congrats. to the Steelers, but it might take a while before everyone actually accepts your victory.
P.S.: James Harrison should have been ejected from the game instantly.
P.P.S.: The last play was supposedly reviewed, but deserved a deeper look than just a quick glance.
P.P.P.S.: The halftime show was surprisingly good. However, we still need more energetic bands performing in the big show. Metallica anyone? Maybe Red Hot Chilli Peppers, Green Day....
P.P.P.P.S.: The commercials weren’t that grand, but a lot of good-looking movies. Transformers 2 (woah) Year One (Cera + Black = hilarious) and G.I. Joe (Not 100% sure on that one)
P.P.P.P.P.S.: The top commercial was probably the budget cut Bud Light commercial and the MacGuyver spoof from Pepsi. The best car commercial was the Audi one with Statham.
