#10: Innoventions at Epcot
When this first came out, it set the standard for future technology around the world. Now, well, its using technology that we already know about. PS2s are the future? Honestly? Nintendo Wiis? Now we have a comedic attraction and what its like to experience a hurricane. We can do much better than this, there’s so much incredible technology that we DON’T know about that Epcot can introduce to guests around the world. The best part is this wouldn’t take as much money as it would sponsors. If Disney pushes for companies to provide the most outstanding inventions, then their brand name will stick out more, leading to more success in the long run. Believe it or not, Test Track has helped GM manufacture a few sales here and there. Innoventions should be the future, not the present.
#9: Jungle Cruise at Magic Kingdom
Yes, the success of this ride rides solely on the skipper commanding the boat. But let’s help the folks by providing more scenes, more animatronics, more insanity presented. A few more details wouldn’t hurt the ride at all honestly.
#8: Big Thunder Mountain Railroad at Magic Kingdom
In terms of overall appeal and details, this ride stands way up there as one of the best the entire world of Disney has to offer. Whether it’s the water running around the queue line, the announcer providing his raspy voice and western flavor, the immense amount of pointless material roaming around, Big Thunder matches the theme perfectly. Then the roller coaster itself has some of the best turns in any ride in Orlando.
However, the third part of the ride is lacking a bit. After the first two were wild, long, and created close brushes with obstacles, the third one is slower, shorter, and doesn’t have the grand finale that rides like Everest contain. So what do we do? Extend the length of the ride to include the crazy finale it deserves. While I have recommended expanding the ride to rush through Tom Sawyer Island I can settle for just a longer length and one final big drop to end the ride on a high note. Like I said, the reason why Big Thunder doesn’t get as much praise as other rides is because it ends so weakly. Changing it would give it even more fame then its sister ride Splash Mountain.
#7: Tom Sawyer Island at Magic Kingdom
This is another classic attraction that’s received little to no love within the past decade or so. One of the most relaxing and picture-friendly portions in all of Orlando, Tom Sawyer Island blends immense open space with playgrounds, obstacles, fun little caves, and even a large fort for kids to play in. It’s a lovely attraction that can be even better if we include more caves, more mayhem, and more stuff inside the fort. Unlike most overhauls, this one can benefit a lot with just a few more details. The caves themselves can be spooky fun if you’re with the right people. I should nonetheless be happy that this attraction even exists, as Disneyland totally changed theirs to make it themed to Pirates of the Caribbean.
#6: Universe of Energy at Epcot
It’s embarrassing to not be able to outperform the previous installment (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c76VO7JwJSg), even with Bill Nye by your side. Ellen Degeneres is a very hit-and-miss comedian and doesn’t have the ability to carry this 40-minute movie/ride. The gigantic screen in the beginning of the attraction is amazing and one can do so much startling material with it, but it wasn’t utilized well in the newer version. Go back to your roots, and don’t try to entertain, attempt to overwhelm. Less jabs at childish humor and more jabs towards teaching us, inspiring us, making us walk out of there feeling a bit smarter.
#5: Journey to Imagination at Epcot
See previous paragraph. The previous versions of Imagination were better (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TI2VcQRMOM0), the building itself was better, there was more to do…continuing would make my heart hurt. This ride is terrible but it makes the list because it used to be much more amazing.
#4: Tomorrowland Speedway at Magic Kingdom
Say what you want, but this ride is a classic that will entertain kids for generations to come. But the potential is so much more, and its dated status can be seen from miles away. Why not use modern cars or cars of the future, since you are in Tomorrowland after all. Why not make the track even longer? Why not increase the speed of the cars just a bit more? The ride itself was good, but its been needing a bit of fixing for a decade now. Tomorrowland itself needs a major change, and this is one of the biggest attractions to require it. If everything around it looks and feels like the future (some in a retro-sort of way) why shouldn’t this one adjust as well?
#3: Star Tours at Hollywood Studios
Star Tours was amazing when it first came out, and then we saw what Disney could do with big IMAX-like screens by creating Soarin’. Soarin’ makes this ride look a lot more dated than Disney could have ever imagined. Imagine this: Star Tours with Soarin’-sized screens, multiple options (I personally would prefer Hoth over the Death Star), an updated soundtrack, updated special effects, and a heavier sound system. It would be the ultimate space flight experience.
#2: Impressions of France at Epcot
Speaking of Soarin’ ruining rides like Star Tours and Sea World’s Wild Arctic, what about France’s long-forgotten classic film about the beauty of France? If we want to discuss dated, let’s waltz our way right over here and see a film that’s been around since the 80s. The movie itself isn’t necessarily bad, but once again after seeing Soarin’ pouring amazing image after amazing image, imagine what Disney could do with its Discovery Channel Planet Earth technology in capturing modern-day scenes of France. It would heighten the quality of the entire pavilion to a new plateau. Nice film, but the potential is oh-so-there.
#1: Space Mountain at Magic Kingdom
So it’s come to this; One of the quintessential attractions in the history of Walt Disney World ranking #1 on this list. Granted, it’s an unbelievably classic attraction in every possible way; from the themeing to the music to the ride itself. Yet, why on earth has it not gotten an overhaul when Disneyland’s version did years ago? Where is our updated soundtrack, sound system, updated cars, and updated track? Space Mountain’s architecture is the first thing that shouldn’t change, but needs cleaning. The queue line needs new images of space (after all, we’ve discovered so much in recent years). The queue line needs more effort in general.
The track is a structural achievement that’s quite underrated (If you thought the tracks in Dueling Dragons were close, look above the next time you ride Space Mountain) but needs a little smoothing out. Space Mountain is one of Walt Disney’s final projects and should be treated with more respect, especially with it being one of the major powerhouse rides that launched Magic Kingdom into the modern-day success that it is. Space Mountain can become an utterly amazing experience overall if Disney closes it for a little and fixes it up, like Michelangelo putting his finishing touches on the Mona Lisa.
Bottom Line:
The Walt Disney World is a grand place, and I carry no regret in serving them for over 5 years. However, there can be so much more done to this place. Walt Disney said that no park should ever be fully completed, there should always be changes and additions. We should live up to those words, as Disney can be even more magical if we spent more time and money with it. We need to preserve the magic, and I believe it can be done, we can bring Disney back to its glory heydays.
I can dream, can't I?
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