Turning NASCAR into Mario Kart...for the good of the sport

For those that know me best know that I am not a fan of Nascar in the least bit. The massively long races consisting of cars going around in circles for a long period of time has never attracted my interest. I personally think that the races are too long, most of the tracks are the same, and that the racers get far much more credit than they deserve. When you win races, you honestly have to give it to the cars much more than the person because of the length of driving required—and a good portion of the credit goes to the pit crew. So what happens if a very good driver has a weaker car and a weaker pit crew? Then he doesn’t have a chance. And that’s not fair, I’d rather the driver have to work to earn his/her honor of being one of the best racers out there.



Nascar to me is like Mario Kart Wii in real life---you can be an excellent driver but if good luck and fortune is not on your side, then you just aren’t going to win. Perhaps this is what upsets me the most about the league; they don’t make it so that truly the best driver wins. Now I have assembled a way to make Nascar more interesting for me, and perhaps this will make Nascar more interesting for the rest of us. Because honestly its become like baseball—a sport that has suffered mildly because the society we live in is now more ADD than ever...and needs mild adjusting. How can I be a huge fan of racing games (ironically, even Daytona USA, an arcade game about a Nascar race) yet barely tolerate the sport that is all about racing?

For starters, the time trials should still occur to determine our order of cars. The 50 best times will go to the big race. Now, the big race will consist of not one race, but a total of 6 individual, much smaller races. The top 10 cars at the time trials face off in the first race, then the next 10 cars face off, and so on. Instead of the 194897741 laps that each car must do around the track, we are going to limit them to a simple yet effective 10 laps. That’s it. You have 10 laps to prove yourself to be the best driver. That makes the race shorter, more intense, and leaves with the drivers less time to make a mistake. Now, the winning car gets to have his car fixed up by the pit crew while awaiting the other races to finish.

We get a starting-off total of 5 10-lap races, and the winners of each race square off in one final race that determines the winner. The spectators get a total of 6 races, and 60 laps of cars going in circles. The stakes are higher amongst the participants and the spectators won’t have time to show signs of spectating fatigue. And we the viewer can be glued to the event pretty much the whole way through as oppose to being able to get up, leave, grab a sandwich, flirt with the neighbor, fight zombies, and then return to watch the final hour of the race. Zzzzzzzz.

Oh, and with the point system you ask? Only the top 5 get points, period. Winner gets 50, 2nd place gets 40, 3rd place gets 30, 4th place gets 20, and 5th place gets 10. There is no need to complicate things in the least bit with all these added rules and regulations. Currently only 10 points separates 1st place from 11th place. You serious? While there are other recommendations I would love to present (different track terrain, much more variety amongst the tracks in the Nascar series) the one that is most required is the shortening of these races so that they are much more…watchable.


Bottom Line: So how can we improve Nascar? Make the races shorter, and make the point system easier to follow. The most popular sport in the world is soccer, and it’s mostly because it’s the easiest to follow. Why not apply the soccer treatment to Nascar by creating 10-lap races and giving points only to the top 5 drivers? I think if we apply these major but easy-to-make changes, then it would build a better fanbase, and would be easier to pick up and follow for a new generation of fans. Racing is a lot of fun to watch, let’s not kill it with 2,300-lap races.

Let’s work together. Let’s make Nascar.....unboring(I know, that’s not a word)

Rock Music today needs to Germanify Itself

Dear Upcoming Rock Bands,

Stop trying to make yourselves sound as complex and as complicated as you really are. Stop trying to display your skills in moments when you don’t need to. Stop trying to add so much noise that the piece of music holds no true personality. There is a growing influx of bands trying too darn hard to sound loud, yet ambitiously skillful as humanely possible. It is time for every American rock band to sit down and start taking notes from the one modern-day band that in recent years has consistently delivered despite using a very basic formula: Rammstein.


Rammstein is by no means the most complex band out there. They are by no means the loudest band. They are also by no means a band that displays the most talent in their music. And they are not even close of having the best lyrics. However, they are the one light in the dark tunnel that is the current state of rock/metal. They have been active for nearly 20 years without a single line-up change, without a single “disappointing” album, without any traces of potential “selling out.” This band has created the perfect formula of creating consistently good music and its time more bands take notice.

They achieve this by knowing their limits, and the limits of our ears. Just because you can play at 80 notes a second doesn’t mean you should ever do it. Rammstein’s guitar riffs are usually loud but slow enough so that it grooves into a beat, into a likable rhythm. And in case it ever becomes tedious, change up the tempo a couple times before retreating to the original addicting rhythm. Rammstein is like a new-age AC/DC, same sound, doesn’t stray far from it, but darn it its heavy enough for us to forgive them. The drums never go insane during a song; they maintain the tempo and heartbeat without ever straying far. The guitars are loud but never squeal, never scream unnecessarily, and never spew useless notes.

The keyword I am trying to derive myself towards is: simplicity. Rammstein is simple, pure and simple. They use a simple rhythm, simple drumline, simple lyrics, and a simple simplistic approach to their heavy music. And, it works. It’s heavy enough to allow you to headbang but never too irritating to make you cringe in the middle of the moshing. They are intense, but display tolerable intensity, the kind that forces you to pump your fists in the air with pure joy.

When you have modern-day bands like Avenged Sevenfold, Dragonforce (ESPECIALLY them), Trivium, System of a Down (whom had one incredible album but never veered better than that), Bullet for my Valentine, and many other examples complicating their sound by trying to do so much at the same time in terms of volume, speed, and intensity, it really brings down the genre of rock several levels. All of you bands today need to sit back, calm down, and take a better, smaller approach. You have the potential to provide consistently special music....you guys just clutter and cluster yourselves in the music-making to a point in which you stop sounding like music and sound more like........grungy noise. Stop trying so hard. Please.



Be more like Rammstein.

Simplistically Epic.



Sincerely,
Music Fan

How to improve the American Idol Experience

Hollywood Studios is in need of some help fixing their attractions. Of all the attractions in all the theme parks, the American Idol Experience is literally the only one that actually gets advertised over the speakers.


They get such little support from the guests that they have to announce in the morning and throughout the day (through “commercials”) that the attraction still exists and could benefit from more people actually seeing their shows. Have you seen the attendance of their afternoon shows? About a half past bearable. While my solution is to destroy it altogether and build something new in the area, we probably have a contract that we must fulfill. If I have to keep American Idol in the park, this is what I would do to try to save it.


For me, American Idol should be done Fantasmic style: only once or twice a day. Several shows a day doesn’t work because the so-called voting portion of the show is not believable when there are 10-15 people seated in the audience. I say do two really big shows involving 7 singers; you can make one right before the parade at the 1:30-1:45 mark, and then do the second showing at the 6:00-6:30 range. Both shows can also be broadcast outside for people not inside the building to see. It would be a great way to pass the time while waiting for the parade to start.


The content needs a total overhaul. And by content I mean the music. The song list is only about 100-145 songs. It does sound like a lot until you notice this: only 13 Disney songs, only 8 Latin songs, and barely any true rock songs. Are you kidding me? Some of the toughest songs out there are in the rock realm, and those that can truly nail those notes are the ones that deserve the so-called American Idol dream ticket. But when you get shoddy easy songs like “Black Horse and a Cherry Tree,” “Drops of Jupiter,” and “Don’t Stop the Music,” it diminishes the entire experience. That being said, I am not saying we should have heavy heavy rock music like this on the setlist---our country is still afraid of metal. Honestly.

This is a Disney attraction, only 13 Disney songs is unacceptable. You should have much more music to choose from---and to make it more irritating 6 of them are from the sugar-coated nonsense of the Disney Channel. When Buffalo Wild Wings has more songs than the American Idol, we have a problem. When Rising Star Karaoke, which consists of an actual live band performing behind you, has nearly as many songs as the American Idol Experience, we have a problem. The beauty of music is how incredibly diverse it is, and when an aspiring singer has only 140-something songs to pick from when displaying his or her best skills, it’s a bit of a problem. I’ve even been told that the producers mildly force them to sing a certain song. I encountered a guest that was told to sing a song he had never sung before. That’s ridiculous.

American Idol Experience becomes extremely repetitive in that final show because everyone sings the same exact songs. I used to think it’s because of the guests, but now I am veering more into the idea that the producers and cast members of the show push them towards it. I say, let them sing whatever they want, it’s their career, and it’s their funeral if they shoot for a song they can’t nail. And this would add variety to a show that has become dull, very quickly. Sometimes, you need those repeat visitors from the locals to maintain popularity and relevance. The Idol Experience has neither.

And P.S. on the song selection: can we please let them the entire darn song? A song like Bohemian Rhapsody is insulted when you only nab a snippet. That song requires the widest vocal range of potentially any pop song in music history----give that aspiring singer the chance of his/her lifetime by making them take on the entire song.

Two shows, 7 singers each. Give out two tickets a day. Each show can run around an hour to 75 minutes, depending on how long the songs are and depending on the introductions. And like I said, it’s a great way to pass the time. Do one elimination round in which 4 of the 7 singers are eliminated, and have the top 3 do a final performance to show off their skills one last time. And then we vote on the top 3 who the winner is. More music, more performing, more mayhem, more judging (the judges aren't that bad to be honest), stakes are higher, the show is a little more interesting.

And hey, while we are at it, why not give it an extra event during Extra Magic Hours? This will never happen, but I am a dreamer, so let’s talk about it anyway. We should do the American Idol Karaoke Party. This is the truth, not all of us are born singers, its honestly a God-given talent. Yes you can work on the vocal chords as much as you want, but if your voice doesn’t support the notes there’s no way you can ever be on that show. That being said, the American Idol Karaoke Party allows for any guest (and cast member, since the show prohibits you from participating) to sing on that stage. If you don’t want to compete, you can sign up for the party early in the morning. We give you a Fastpass like ticket to go to the building at a certain time. You pick the song, and you go up there and sing away. Of course any silly business and the mic gets cut off immediately. But as opposed to a typical karaoke bar, you get the stage, the lights, the people watching and interacting, and your dream coming true. And no criticism will follow after you sing--unless its from your peers.


Bottom Line: The American Idol Experience needs help, because it’s becoming as stale as the television show. We should cut it down to two big shows, expand the setlist, and give more freedom to the singers. These solutions do not cost extra, and nor will they totally alter the dimensions and the theming of the attraction. And then to top it off, give everyone and I mean everyone a chance to sing with the karaoke party. Honestly, when karaoke is involved, you can’t possibly go wrong. Just doesn’t happen. Two shows, karaoke, more songs: these are the three essential ingredients to providing a better American Idol Experience.

Take this idea Disney, its free.