He's Just Not That Into You: 8/10

Meshing Sex and the City flavor with the complex storytelling structure of Crash, this chick flick rises above the norm with plenty of charm and realism, 9 February 2009

Love or hate Sex and the City, you cannot deny its impact on pop culture in terms of the way relationships are perceived, described, and displayed on television and film. Then with the movie installment, it becomes the highest-grossing romantic comedy since 2005 and also among the biggest of all-time. Clever writing, excellent casting, and the ability to pull no punches is the deadly combination that makes it a hit with viewers and critics as well (though, not so much with the movie). He's Just Not That Into You combines the same elements that makes Sex and the City such a success; except it contains even more heart than you'd expect, and a bit more unpredictability. Unlike Sex and the City, this film is much more believable, much more down-to-earth, more accessible, and overall a better look at the way love works. It definitely isn't perfect, but it's quite a shock as to how entertaining it can be.

In a Crash sort of way, this movie intertwines and weaves together multiple plots that have loose connections with one another; yet ultimately follow the same themes of love and finding happiness. One involves a ditzy hopeless romantic by the name of Gigi (Ginnifer Goodwin) receiving tips from a promiscuous bar manager (Justin Long), another one involves a long-lasting couple not yet married (Ben Affleck, Jennifer Aniston), a third tale involves a recently-married couple (Jennifer Connelly and Bradley Cooper) having complications because of outside temptation (Scarlett Johannson). Last but not least there's an advertising expert (Drew Barrymore) who is struggling to find somebody, anybody. Based off a book which is based off of a catchphrase from the ultra-popular Sex and the City show, this film at the core feels like a younger sister of the phenomenon.

Romantic comedies rely heavily on two things: the writing, and the casting. The casting is definitely superb; we have several Golden Globe and Academy Award-winners and nominees on the front end (Ben Affleck, Connelly, Johannson) and many wonderful up-and-coming stars contributing (Long, Goodwin, Cooper). They all play off each other very well and add to the realism of the entire peace. None of them are heavily infused with makeup and look like they are in an eternal fashion runway show (Like..well, you should know by now). The writing duo of Abby Kohn and Mark Silverstein had a tough job of translating a rather deep and complex story into a film but nonetheless stripped the bare essentials, good dialogue, and did a better job keeping the plots tightly wound when compared to other films in similar fashion (Shut up "Crash" fans, that movie was a writing disaster).

Chick flicks have gotten a bad reputation because of its ability to dwell into every single type of stereotype imaginable. He's Just Not That Into You follows the trend loosely, but then destroys it by throwing in a lot of plot twists, turns, and unexpected surprises. While all the stories have been done before, the manners in which they continue and end vary quite drastically from the norm. This is a refreshing aspect of the movie, just like love you're not sure what to expect. Finally, there are the little breaks in between the tales; you'll see interviews of other random people discussing love and the opposite sex. Ken Kwapis directs with limited pizazz and style, as he presents the story with decent pacing and enough stability to keep you entertained in the rather lengthy running time.

Bottom Line: Neglect what the critics have said, they all usually hate chick flicks in general (Mostly male too, how's that for a coincidence?). Being the counterculture expert that enjoys destroying trends and normal thinking on a daily basis, I can tell you that this is a good movie with great acting, good writing, and an overall semi-realistic and good view on love and its inability to have a set course. Depending on your personality, you may prefer one story over another (also depends on your current relationship status). This is Sex and the City at heart; just missing the fashion, the explicit sex dialogue, nudity, and higher-class aura.

The down-to-earth behavior and nature of this film however allows for it to be more believable and much more personal than let's say the problems and issues of four highly-successful and well-paid independent women. While there isn't as much comedy as one would hope, its still sprinkled throughout and the characters themselves are (for the most part) lovable enough to maintain your interest as you ponder what happens next. Recommend, whether you are single, taken, married, divorced, or have a fondness for creatures from another planet.

P.S. Men, if you are still looking for a reason to see this movie, picture a seductive and promiscuous Scarlett Johannson for two hours. You can thank me later.

The 15 Best Attractions in the Magic Kingdom

A recent visit to Magic Kingdom allowed me to see just why it’s the best of the Disney parks. There is always something going on, there’s so much to do even when things are broken down (2 attraction in my case) there’s always something new to see, something new to hear, and unexpected surprises pop up all over the area. For example, I found a secluded location with available tables (which is seemingly impossible to find in Main St. an hour before Spectromagic) and in the building next to me, there are little sound clips of a man practicing the piano and a woman practicing her singing. Magic Kingdom is truly a special park, and it is a total shame it doesn’t get the respect and care from the higher-ups like in the case of Disneyland. The best part of Magic Kingdom is how it still has so much room for expansion, for improvement.

Now, its time to do a list. That’s right, another list. This list covers the best attractions Magic Kingdom has to offer. These attractions offer the best in terms of overall theming, quality, amount of details, and lasting appeal. These are 15 places I will visit once, maybe more, every time I visit the park. Will you agree with this list? Most likely not, but I honestly don’t care, because I am right and you are wrong. That’s just the truth. Here are the 15 things you must do while walking around the Magic Kingdom.




#15: Walt Disney World Railroad

Despite it not actually being an attraction, it does offer a hintage of Disney magic. There’s just something special about an old-school train, and Magic Kingdom is one of the few places that allow you to experience this classic mode of transportation as many times as you want with little wait. You can sneak behind Adventureland and hear the jungle noises, sneak past Big Thunder and catch the funny details, or get a grand glimpse of the Contemporary Resort as you travel back to Main St. USA. Plenty of beautiful scenery, and at just a nice speed, I always have to visit the railroad at least once.

Fun Little Tidbit: Try to catch the Hidden Mickey while passing by Splash Mountain



#14: Tomorrowland Speedway

Okay, so it hit #4 on attractions that definitely need a change; but what about the first time you technically were able to experience driving a vehicle in real life? As a child, this ride is a childhood dream come true: driving around a beautiful park and smashing into other people that are driving much too slow. The sound of the engine blazing as you zoom past 5 miles an hour just enhances the experience. Then let’s add to the fact that you can see technically 3 different parts of the park while driving: Fantasyland, Toontown Fair, and Tomorrowland. Even if you do drive real cars, can’t miss the chance for some nice snapshots.

Fun Little Tidbit: For a challenge, try driving the entire darn thing without ever hitting the side rails. Good luck.



#13: Philharmagic

I am not a major fan of those 3-D movie things, but this one makes an exception. Blending beautiful music with some clever 3-D effects, Philharmagic is easily one of the best new attractions of this decade.

Complaint: 4 of the 6 movies featured did not have Walt Disney’s touch. On Philharmagic 2, let’s dwell into the past a bit longer, shall we?




#12: Monster’s Inc. Laugh Floor

So it might be in the wrong section of the park (Personally, I think it should be in Fantasyland). So it might be absolutely silly. So it may be quite possibly the corniest comedy club in the history of the planet. Nonetheless, it’s fun, entertaining, and has an immense amount of guest interactivity that may pave the way for a new type of attraction invading theme parks for years to come. Unlike Turtle Talk, guests actually have a chance to hog the spotlight and be the star for just a few moments. Unlike almost all the attractions on this list, each visit to the Laugh Floor can post all sorts of different results. Especially if you wind up being “That Guy.” Perhaps when technology improves even more and Disney does actually start caring more about the Walt Disney World parks we’ll see a truly amazing experience out of this attraction. In the meantime, it’s the 12th best attraction you’ll find in Magic Kingdom.



#11: It’s a Small World

Disney and this attraction go hand in hand like Hispanic rice and chicken. The oh-so-happy tunes, the lovely music, the amazing details, and the overall sugar-coated cheerful theming makes this the best location to visit when feeling the least bit down. Just like what Horizons and Spaceship Earth tries/tried to do at Epcot, It’s a Small World hands Magic Kingdom its overall optimistic theme. The ride likes reminding you that underneath the tough exterior of the world, underneath the hatred and drama, there’s a world of people that care about each other and only want what’s best for their neighbor and the overall environment. This is indeed true, but the media loves drama, and we can never see the definite beauty of this world. Lake Buena Vista and Orlando is a representation of what the world should be; all sorts of different people from different backgrounds and different lands blending and living life together with little/no issues. Most of the violence you hear about the Orlando area actually occurs as you leave the realm of the Disney tourism area. Is that a coincidence? I think not.

Complaint: Disneyland got a recent revamp of this attraction. Where’s ours?



#10: Splash Mountain

Heh, one of the three major mountains of Magic Kingdom at only #10? Yea, this list is going in directions you won’t believe! However, considering that you’ll find no other Fantasyland attraction on this list, this is a tough list to be able to qualify for in the first place. Splash Mountain’s main draw is the huge drop towards the end; but my personal favorite moments in the attraction are how you are thrown into a totally different world, with a story unfolding right in front of your eyes. So while I haven’t seen Song of the South yet, I pretty much know one half of the tale. Don’t let that big drop fool you, there are plenty other drops in Splash Mountain; there’s just one that will allow for you to be soaked to the core. During the summer, this is definitely the one place to visit.

Fun Little Tidbit: This remains the only Disney attraction based off of a work that Disney shuns on a daily basis



#9: Swiss Family Treehouse

Shut up, so the one area that has no wait whatsoever has a spot on the list. The Swiss Family Robinson tree is easily the least appreciated area in pretty much all of Disney World. Let’s just conjure out the details; the entire tree itself was built by Imagineers. Taking up a quarter of Adventureland, this is an area in which you can go at your own pace, you can choose which parts to see and which to skip altogether, you can find awesome views of the castle and other areas. You aren’t being driven around; you choose when to enter, when to leave. There is only one other attraction in Walt Disney World that does a better job at this, and you’ll see it a bit farther down in this list. In the meantime, deal with it; the Robinson Tree is ranked higher than Splash and it’s a Small World. Deal with it. I am a sucker for details.





#8: Jungle Cruise

Originally, this was going to not show up on my rankings at all, because its success depends on the skipper. If you have a horrible skipper, than there’s a good chance you are going to dread the entire ride. Nonetheless, I gave it a pass because of its ability to offer something different and new every time. And we can’t forget the details and ability to throw you into another world full of hilarity, unexpected surprises, and dangerous creatures. Having a hilarious skipper would be icing on the cake. Even if he/she is a total failure, you can’t help but marvel at the dozens of different plants in the ride, the dozens of animatronic creatures, and backside of water. Where else are you going to see the backside of water?

Fun Little Tidbit: Look around at the props; they contain heavy references to Pleasure Island.




#7: Carousel of Progress

One of the few locations with Disney’s actual touch, the Carousel of Progress is a slightly dated, yet incredible achievement in sound, puppet work, robotics, music, pacing, and mechanics. Guys, the entire stage literally moves. If you sit there and think about it, the Carousel represented what Disney wanted out of Tomorrowland, and represents what eventually became Epcot; Walt Disney’s dream of the future. If there is an example of how much Disney loved this country and what he wanted out of it for mankind, this attraction is it. Featuring a beautiful song and a timeless theme about progression in the human race; there’s a special place in Disney enthusiasts’ hearts reserved for this location.

Fun Little Tidbit: The main character is voiced by the writer of A Christmas Story.




#6: Tomorrowland Transit Authority

NOW APPROACHING SPACE MOUNTAIN. The Transit Authority may represent how badly the higher ups backed off the original theme of the “land,” it remains a great place for relaxation, beautiful sightseeing, and a nice overall glance of the busiest section of the park. The vehicles run at a smooth pace, keep you away from annoying crowds, and allows you to see which attractions are busy and which ones can warrant a visit in a short amount of time. Last but not least, you get a nice view of Space Mountain.

Fun Little Tidbit: There is another attraction that uses the ride technology of the T.T.A.: the rather quicker Rockin’ Roller Coaster.




#5: Pirates of the Caribbean

Unlike the bandwagon jumpers of today, I was a fan of the attraction way before the 2003 movie respawned interest in the attraction. There’s just something about the subtle blend of comedy, adventure, and horror that surrounds the 10 minutes of extravagant details, incredible audio-animatronics, and superb musical score. From the queue line (that features all sorts of lovely details and Easter eggs) to the timeless dog-holding-the-key gag, Pirates of the Caribbean is a very unique dark ride that captures the imagination and spirit of a rough-n’-tough time period. The newer version of the ride isn’t half-bad either, especially the clever bit with Davy Jones.

Complaint: More injustice; the Disneyland version contains one more drop and at least two extra scenes.




#4: Big Thunder Mountain Railroad

Usually on my visits to Magic Kingdom, my first stop in Frontierland is the fun, bumpy, clever, and wild Big Thunder. From the soundtrack, to the warning, to the sounds, to the little details, Big Thunder oozes the theme of the Wild West. Featuring crazy hops, fun little drops, and some of the best turns in any Disney roller coaster, the Big Thunder Mountain Railroad is wild enough for the roller coaster fans, but not too wild so that the little tykes can enjoy it just as much. Like I have always said before, its one epic grand finale from perfection. Fix up the third act of the ride and you have yourself one of the Top 10 roller coasters of not just Disney, but of all of Florida.

Complaint: More Injustice Vol. 2: Disneyland’s version is faster.




#3: Tom Sawyer Island

Rumor has it this is the only attraction Disney ever personally actually designed from the blueprints to the final design. Combining the excellent details we expect from the Magic Kingdom with a heavy sense of exploration and curiosity; Tom Sawyer Island is a lovely gem of Disney magic that just begs for more respect, a bit more fixing, and an opportunity for more exposure. In Tom Sawyer Island we have a playground, 3 caves, a fort, multiple places to sit and relax, at least 4 bridges, two places to play checkers, multiple photo opportunities, and the only full, perfect view of the Haunted Mansion. Also coming in at #3 is the also-avoided Mark Twain Riverboat that creeps its way around Tom Sawyer Island and into many parts of Magic Kingdom most guests don’t even know exist. The next time you visit the Magic Kingdom, if you hadn’t visited Tom Sawyer Island, do yourself a favor and spend a couple hours there, get to know the environment better, and catch a whiff of some true exploration.

Fun Little Tidbit: We at least beat Disneyland on something—they no longer have this attraction, they have Pirate’s Lair instead.





#2: Haunted Mansion

Like previously stated, I am a sucker for details. However, it just doesn’t get any better than this attraction in terms of theme and details. Examples of its quality storytelling: the trees surrounding the mansion are all dead, most of the paintings in the ride have eyes that follow you wherever you go, the lights constantly flicker, the tombstones, the one tombstone that comes alive at random intervals, and of course the slew of Hidden Mickeys. The mix of horror, mystery, and comedy has made this a staple for all Disney parks, and the recent additions actually improved the ride even more. Even in the alternate entrance, the Haunted Mansion keeps its theme by using flickering lights, sets of keys, and other miscellaneous stuff.

Then there are the neat visual effects you can find everywhere, from the paintings that present two different images, to the endless hallway, to the clock that has only the number 13 and has a gigantic hand shadow creeping on top of it. That’s just a little sample of what you can find in this funhouse. While Walt Disney wanted the Haunted Mansion to be an area to walk around and explore (Like Tom Sawyer’s Island), there’s no way he can be disappointed in the result of this gem. Predating the cheap scares of Halloween Horror Nights is the creepy house in the corner of the Magic Kingdom that’s full of surprises.






#1: Space Mountain

Walt Disney was obsessed with the future of mankind and space, the final frontier. Examples of this can be found in classic/now extinct attractions like Mission to Mars, the entire section of Tomorrowland, his plans for Epcot, his television specials about space, and of course, this masterpiece. Space Mountain, originally an idea by Disney himself, expanded upon its simple idea and stormed to Magic Kingdom years after the park had opened. Lurking inside the mammoth structure is an intense dark ride that tests your imagination and delivers some of the best thrills in any Disney attraction out there.

The architecture alone is startling; it’s beautifully futuristic, there really isn’t another way I can describe it. The blend of pearl white with shades of blue from the outside makes it a sight to see, even from the miles-away Transportation and Ticket Center and Polynesian Resort. It always looks better than the castle, even at night (with the exception of Christmastime). Then there is the queue line, which blends melancholy images of deep, deep space with relaxing music known simply as Star Tunnel. Approaching closer to the ride you’ll see more images of space; ranging from space stations to the planet Mars. As you make it to the end of the queue, there are images of asteroids flying around, the T.T.A. trotting along behind you, and the rocket ships above you flying around in seemingly blistering speeds.

The ride itself is two minutes of bumpy fun. After a period of blue lights, you lift up, and then blast off in a series of twists, turns, drops, slowdowns, bursts of speed, and constant close calls with other rocket ships, the T.T.A., and the ride itself. Then during the post show, you get a small glimpse of what might be the plot/story of the entire attraction; which are astronauts collecting fossils to be sent back to a near-future Earth for study. In the meantime, there’s epic music blasting in the background, congratulating your survival and arrival to your destination.

Space Mountain is the best attraction in the Magic Kingdom because of its epic scale, old-school thrills, excellent music, and optimistic theme about the future of space travel. While the structure may seem simple and even a bit dated, there honestly isn’t another attraction in all of Florida quite like Space Mountain; as a matter of fact few have even tried.

In April of this year, the attraction finally gets its long-deserved update. So the best attraction of Magic Kingdom gets an upgrade. With the success and quality boosts of Haunted Mansion and Pirates, one can only ponder about what they will do to this technological, architectural, and engineering work of art.

Only time will tell.

Super Bowl XLIII Hangover

I’ve had my grievances towards the NFL, much more than usual. Whether it’s the overpopulating hoopla over certain extremely overrated teams like the Cowboys, Bills, Jets, Eagles, Redskins, Giants, etc., or the ridiculous amount of stupid penalties and fines being flung around like free candy, or even the inability to celebrate after a touchdown; the NFL is trying very hard to suck the very energy of its own sport. My viewing time towards the Super Bowl dwindled a bit, even with my good ol’ Dolphins adopting college football-like offense and advancing to the title. The NFL needs a bit of changing, that’s for sure. However, all this is thrown out the window with the Super Bowl I just witnessed.

Holy crap on a dipstick that was some of the tensest and crazy fourth quarter action I’ve ever seen. In a game that featured three of among the best plays in Super Bowl history, crazy lead changes, crazy close calls, players about to fight opposing team coaches, great plays reversed, and of course, penalties up the ying yang. Topping it all is a rather surprisingly awesome performance by Bruce himself. What else can I say? Yikes man, the NFL looked good for this one night---until the final play.

Let’s start with the Cardinals. With perhaps the easiest schedule out there, the Cardinals tweaked into the playoffs because of the easy division and easy schedule. No other team had such rough numbers entering the playoffs. However, they became a different team in the playoffs, and especially the Super Bowl. This team was hungry, just like the underrated and underappreciated Rays back in 08’ when they went to the World Series. Kurt Warner played like his old self and definitely outplayed Big Ben in the big game. There were two major reasons why the Cardinals lost: Penalties and the 100-Yard Interception. Both teams had their share of penalties, but boy did the Cardinals learn that the NFL doesn’t like physical contact anymore.

Personally, I thought the refs were consistent, and the defense made some stupid, stupid, stupid decisions and penalties. Over 100 penalty yards? Seriously? Then that final drive, when they just couldn’t stop anybody, and were way too far downfield, allowing for the Steelers to hack away on a charge to the end zone. Then let’s go to the 100-yard interception; that was a blend of good playcalling by the defense with bad luck against the Cardinals. Longest play in Super Bowl history, and easily the main reason why Pittsburgh has a 6th trophy. It went from a potential 14-10 to a 17-7 halftime show.

The Steelers, I saw them winning this game, and by a much wider margin than 4 points. They had the defense, experience, and grueling matches to be able to prepare for the big showdown. Big Ben is overrated, sorry guys, but he is. Outside the final drive, albeit amazing, he didn’t perform that well. Exactly like Manning a year ago, Big Ben made the magic when he needed it the most; and of course the Arizona defense collapsed on that final drive too. The Steelers got quite a scare by giving away such a lead. And for those complaining that the officiating was in favor of the Steelers, the Cardinals did get an odd, questionable penalty that went from a 20+ yard play to a safety.

The fourth quarter was a roller coaster of emotions. Ranging from anger to shock to disbelief to happiness to sadness to confusion to shouting anarchy; the 4th quarter pretty much had it all. Kurt Warner was amazing, however, the defense on that final drive; that was just embarrassing. 3 minutes left, all they needed was one final stop; at least cut it to a field goal. Unfortunately, they left people wide open, played too deep, and just couldn’t get the job done. Warner should retire because this is probably as close as he’ll ever get with the Cardinals. Poor coaching in the end there. The game was a nail biter, Fitzgerald and Warner played spectacular. Another lingering question was: why did it take so long for the ball to reach Fitzgerald? He was basically quiet in the first half. After that amazing run by Fitzgerald, I wanted the Cardinals to win it all and complete the incredible upset.

Last, but not least, the final, final play. The game was grand; the game was epic, a lot of storylines---but no major review on the fumble/potential interception? This is where the NFL fails miserably. The stupid, stupid, stupid rule about no red flags in the final two minutes; why? If we are to ban this, it should be up to the refs to question every single questionable play. Warner I believe could have gotten the call and the game could have gone down to yet another play. Unfortunately, for whatever reason, whether its conspiracy, a willingness to just end all the drama, or whatever, it didn’t happen. It’s sad that such a marvelous game will be remembered for the one play that could have continued the game, but the refs didn’t allow for the opportunity to happen.

The NFL’s biggest issues were all out displayed for everyone to see on that final drive. The NFL has too many lame rules, and the refs do not know all of them. Some fans know more about the league and its rules than the people officiating them. This isn’t the first time a playoff game ended because of questionable refs not trying to review what occurred. Few people remember this one, but the 49ers and the Giants playoff game in 2003 also ended with refs not checking the play and resulted in making a mistake that cost the Giants the entire game. That’s just one obscure fun reference.

Bottom Line: Amazing game that proves why the Super Bowl remains the most-watched game in America—however, also proved that the NFL needs some fixing. Of all the umpires and refs in all major sports, the NFL ones are clearly the worst, and they have the most help and support to keep them from making boneheaded decisions. Congrats. to the Steelers, but it might take a while before everyone actually accepts your victory.

P.S.: James Harrison should have been ejected from the game instantly.

P.P.S.: The last play was supposedly reviewed, but deserved a deeper look than just a quick glance.

P.P.P.S.: The halftime show was surprisingly good. However, we still need more energetic bands performing in the big show. Metallica anyone? Maybe Red Hot Chilli Peppers, Green Day....

P.P.P.P.S.: The commercials weren’t that grand, but a lot of good-looking movies. Transformers 2 (woah) Year One (Cera + Black = hilarious) and G.I. Joe (Not 100% sure on that one)

P.P.P.P.P.S.: The top commercial was probably the budget cut Bud Light commercial and the MacGuyver spoof from Pepsi. The best car commercial was the Audi one with Statham.

P.P.P.P.P.P.S: Is it baseball season yet?