Before I point this out, I just want to say that all my negativity in this article has nothing to do with the outstanding ensemble of cast members that we have working in the Hollywood Studios. Before I point this out, it has nothing to do with the folks that are out there day in and day out, providing magic. Okay, here it goes. Hollywood Studios sucks. As a park, its totally devoid of a consistent theme, doesn’t have enough activities, hasn’t evolved as much as the other parks, and needs a major major overhaul that the higher ups are not acknowledging. The attendance of this park has dwindled and now it’s the least-attended Disney park in Orlando. Granted this park still beats Universal Studios (Had to throw that in there); its guest count lead on the competitive Hollywood parks has quietly been dying. Hollywood Studios as a park is officially the weakest of the four and I am about to explain why.
We can start with theming, alright? What is Hollywood Studios’ theme? Movies? Because we don’t see much emphasis on that anymore with the inclusion of American Idol and Toy Story Mania (which is based off a movie, but isn’t about a movie). Hollywood? Because besides the front of the park there isn’t much Hollywood going on. And let’s focus on the front of the park now. It is supposed to represent the olden days of Hollywood, yet we get a dismal flash mob in the front of the park before the parade, and then have the inappropriately placed Rock n’ Roller Coaster next to an old-school hotel. And then (this one is a bit pickier) we have the citizens of Hollywood sporting microphones next to their face, eliminating the sense that these characters are from the early 1900s. We’ve progressed far enough in technology, there is a way to put invisible microphones in their clothes—there’s no need to make them look like they are in a NASCAR race.
The theme totally dies when approaching the hat. We have the awful American Idol on the left, which should cease to exist as soon as possible. And even if we are pushing for a television-section in the park, American Idol is not the way to go. Unless they make it accessible for everyone to sing (among other changes I had pointed out before), it’s going to remain a mediocre scar on the park. Next door to that we have plenty of space but no movement, as Drew Carey’s attraction was the right idea, wrongfully executed. I can see the Jedi Training Academy show being moved in there, or maybe a sketch show getting a place in there. Or if we want to return back to the theme of the movies, do a variety of special/visual effects presentation in there (sadly, it might be Avatar-themed down the road).
Then there’s the hat. The hat has nothing to do with Hollywood, what are you doing in there? And in front of the former symbol, which is a movie theater?!?!? Now let’s discuss Great Movie Ride: isn’t it about time we change it? The show runs at least 25 minutes, so that’s plenty of material space that can be changed/altered/deleted/removed/eliminated. It baffles me that it hasn’t become a ride that showcases how far along we’ve come in the movies. If it were up to me, I’d start with Charlie Chaplain and run through each decade and display the movie that best resembles that decade---Casablanca, Gone with the Wind, Sound of Music, Godfather, etc.
We are just getting started. Pixar Place is where my next gripe is going to be. We as the public are not allowed to enter Pixar’s facilities in Cali unless we work there. But wouldn’t it be cool to have an Art of Pixar gallery, or at least a few glimpse into Pixar’s future? The Narnia building (which should have burned down forever ago) is prime location for such a thing. Next door to Toy Story Mania is a building that has not been used in 7-10 years. Continuing ahead we have the backlot tour, which has not been changed in years. And then after that we have the Streets of America, which provide no purpose whatsoever except in the winter time.
If you want more evidence that the Imagineers seemed to have given up with this park: we have Pizza Planet and Toy Story Mania on opposite sides of the park. We have the Backlot Tour and Backlot Express on opposite sides---even though there is a quick service place next to the Tour that can be renamed just for the sake of geographically being less confusing. The Cars characters and Buzz and Woody are from Pixar, so why are they also on opposite ends of the spectrum? Couldn’t we just, you know, group them up? Phenias and Ferb, a very popular kids cartoon is on the opposite side of the Disney Animation building and the Disney Junior show. I can guarantee you no other Disney park is as geographically and inexplicably confusing.
Lack of changes also mars this park. The Indiana Jones Epic Stunt Spectacular has not changed since 1989 (That’s over 20 years for anyone keeping track), making it arguably one of the few Disney attractions to go through over two decades without changing anything. Backlot Tour hasn’t changed in forever either. Great Movie Ride as I’ve said before has been the same for ions. Muppets 3-D is a classic…but…should probably change a little. Tower of Terror has done a great job in providing different thrills, but Rock n’ Roller coaster has remained the same, even though there are over 30 years of Aerosmith music to run through. And for the sake of others, would it kill them to install a couple jukeboxes to allow guests to pick music to listen to while waiting in the queue line? And lastly, wouldn’t it be nice to change the music inside the ride to match the music of a musician when it’s their birthday? I’d like to hear music from Jimi Hendrix, Eric Clapton, Carlos Santana, and others when they are celebrating a birthday. Lastly, Beauty and the Beast. Isn’t it about time to make this show a little more….accurate to the film?
This park needs more movie-related material, more from the old-school days and much more from the modern days. A new Indiana Jones ride would be awesome; a new Star Wars roller coaster would be nice. Hell, Phenias and Ferb has two episodes dedicated to the building of a roller coaster---can we get a kids coaster? Can we get a martial arts stunt show? Another Broadway show? To be honest, I don’t have the answers on how to fix this park (although I tried before), but one thing is certain, this park it a lot of unmet potential. Bringing the movies to life is a grandiose idea, but Disney has drifted far away from that theming and focused more on other aspects not related to Hollywood.
As a Disney fan, I will admit, Hollywood Studios stinks. And needs a big change and shift back to what it was supposed to be: the past, present, and future of the cinematic world being brought to life.
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