Top 25 Songs of the Millenium (So Far) [The Final Five]

This is it, the Top 5!! Whether you like it or not, these are the top 5 songs of the millennium so far.

Part 4 Can Be Found Here




#5
Song: Chop Suey
Artist: System of a Down
Peak Position: #7 Rock Charts



Hey, guess which song was the biggest rock song around and was joined by the most popular rock video when 9/11 happened. 9/11 did more than just through the planet into a tailspin, it also destroyed many careers and delayed several more. Rock really never recovered from the banning of many of its songs due to the sensitive status of the United States after seeing four of their planes crash in a coordinated attack. Chop Suey was smack dab in the middle of this, as a band that has a Middle Eastern look singing about how angels deserve to die was suddenly being shunned into the corner for bad timing.

Chop Suey could have really done more for the music scene because of its very innovative mesh of thrash, nu-metal, and hard rock. In a span of three minutes we were treated to a great acoustic-heavy opening, an amazing rhythm, several random pauses, and heavy guitar work that would impress the kings of 80s metal. During the reign of nu-metal, System of a Down was amongst the biggest names because of the amazing vocal work backed by a band that is loud, heavy, and right in your face. You can’t listen to this song and not wind up with a bloody nose because of the constant headbanging.



#4
Song: Breaking the Habit
Artist: Linkin Park
Peak Position: #1 in Both Rock Charts



Linkin Park owned, OWNED the rock scene for the first five years of the 2000s. Hybrid Theory was a rapid-seller, and Meteora was selling millions as well. But one can admit that their sound was mildly predictable, it went at a certain pace, was done in a formulaic fashion. The sound worked, but there are definitely similarities between the songs Papercut, Crawling, Numb, and Runaway (Especially Crawling and Numb). But then we have Breaking the Habit.

This song is calmer than the usual nu-metal, it sounded drastically different, it didn’t seem overproduced or overdone, but still had the heavy emotion and heavy vocals that Linkin Park became famous for. Almost coming off as a rock ballad or sorts, Linkin Park turned down the volume, used a more electronic sound, and increased the pace. What we have is a heartbreaking song about overcoming addiction that certified Linkin Park as the best in the rock game before their downward spiral attached to making music for the Transformers series. But during their undeniable reign, this song rules supreme.



#3
Song: Somebody I Used to Know
Artist: Gotye feat. Kimbra
Peak Position: #1 in Billboard Hot 100



There was a nice wave of indie music making its way through all the commercials (Not just the computer ads) and thanks to the power of Twitter, Facebook, and YouTube, were getting their shot in the radio. This song snuck in essentially out of nowhere and slowly drifted into the hearts of all listeners.

This song is purely heartbreaking, and works on so many levels. When you hear it the first time, you don’t really expect for the female’s side of the story to break in the middle of the song. You have Gotye’s haunting and light vocals dabble within the light indie pop sound. And then we have a female vocalist pop out of nowhere and add an extra layer to the song. And by the time it’s over you have just heard one of the most successful indie anthems of all-time, and hands-down the best indie song of the new millennium.



#2
Song: Don’t Know Why
Artist: Norah Jones
Peak Position: #4 Adult Contemporary



I am going to be blatantly honest: part of this is because Norah Jones is quite possibly my biggest celebrity crush. She can sing, she can play the piano, and has the girl next door look that always makes you feel like you actually have a chance. So, yes, part of this is because I am a huge fan of hers. I am a huge fan of her work, and I admire the fact that she never does the same album twice.

Don’t Know Why is the song we all needed to hear in the modern era, it was the album we needed to hear. In an age in which hip-hop and sugar-candy pop was dominating the charts, we got a jazz record that was simple, bubbly, soothing, and downright beautiful. Jazz has definitely lost its luster especially when compared to its dominating days of the 30s-50s, but Norah Jones brought it back in a big, big way. This song can never become irritating, can never become dated, and not once does it ever overstay its welcome. It is an attractive song from lyrics to vocals to piano.



#1 Song: Gangnam Style
Artist: PSY
Peak Position: #1 In 39949585 Places












You know I am just joking, right?









#1
Song: Crazy
Artist: Gnarls Barkley
Peak Position: #1 in the U.K.




This song is everything: a bit of indie, a bit of pop, a bit of hip-hop, a bit of rock, a bit of spaghetti Western, and synced together by the tightest production I have heard from a song in at least 15 years. It has some of the best male vocals since Boys II Men, has one of the slickest beats ever composed for a hip-hip song, and is packaged together so neatly, so beautifully that you don’t realize that the song is 3 minutes long---and you’ll want to hear it again and again.


I don’t know how else to explain to you why this is the best song since 2000 rolled around. Sampling a spaghetti Western song from a largely forgotten song, Danger Mouse increased the tempo, minimized the Western feel, gave it an edgy European hip-hop touch, and got the mighty Cee-Lo Green to polish it off with his best vocal performance of his career. It hit all the charts around the globe because it’s accessible without sounding like its selling-out, while being so big in England the record label pulled out all the singles from stores so the song could age gracefully and all of Europe wouldn’t be sick of the song in the coming years.


This is not just a great song, it is THE song of the 2000s, and the best song since the ridiculously delicious music of The Seatbelts in the Cowboy Bebop anime.




There you go, The End. For Now.

Top 25 Songs of the Millenium (So Far) [Part 4/5]

This is part 4 of my article about the best songs that have come out in this millennium so far. I assure you the explanations will run a little bit deeper. Here we go!


Part 3 is here


#10
Song: Promise
Artist: Romeo Santos feat. Usher
Peak Position: #1 U.S. Latin



In a nice little blend of bachata and R&B, this bilingual love song has two well-known musical crooners  serenading the ladies with their blend of soft lyrics and nice vocals that never becomes vulgar, never becomes too over-the-top, and hits all the right spots. I have a softer spot for bachata, and this song deserves better recognition for attempting to expand the horizons by singing in two languages but never mix them.


#9
Song: Thinking About You
Artist: Norah Jones
Peak Position: #7 Billboard Jazz


Being a Norah Jones fan, expect her on this list more than once. While it is hard to really decide which of her songs are best, this one here stands as arguably her adult contemporary friendliest. The entire piece is very simple, and it works to the utmost level. Not enough jazz-inspired tunes are heard nowadays, and Norah's voice and style is just a joyous deviation from the norm. In the case of less being more, Thinking About You is a prime example.


#8
Song: Lose Yourself
Artist: Eminem
Peak Position: #1 everywhere


Eminem is the best rapper of this new millennium. Say what you will about his music now, but back in 2000 nobody could touch him. 2002 certified him as the best since the mid-90s with Lose Yourself, a song performed so well, with so much emotion and so much intensity it made its way into all the rock stations as well as the pop and hip-hop stations. The delivery was great, the beat was infectious, and it wasn't your typical rap song rapping about money, women and/or cars---it even comes off as inspiring. This was Eminem at its peak.


#7
Song: Que Me Quedes Tu
Artist: Shakira
Peak Position: #1 Latin Charts



Remove the infectious rhythms, addicting beats, and jaw-dropping dance moves from Shakira, and what do you have? Her best song. This very soft Spanish rock song calms Shakira to a bare minimum as she bares her soul with beautiful lyrics, beautiful vocals, and good backing guitar/drum work to mix this all together into a memorable track. While her Laundry Service album will forever be known for Whenever, Wherever, Que Me Quedes Tu is the defining example of her pure raw talent.


#6: Hoja En Blanco
Artist: Monchy y Alexandra
Peak Position: #13 Tropical Airplay


The song that put bachata on the New York map, Hoja en Blanco defines bachata to its core: infectious beat, snarky fun guitar work, depressing lyrics, and light vocals that makes it seem like this is being performed in a rural area. What makes this one truly special are the dueling vocalists involved, how they pretty much never sing together expanding the concept of how they are no longer together, how they each have their moment to shine, and the great guitar solo smack dab in the middle of this Dominican classic.

Top 25 Songs of the Millenium (So Far) [Part 3/5]

This is part 3 of my article about the best songs that have come out in this millennium so far. Here we go!

Part 2 Can Be Found Here

#15
Song: Freur Frei
Artist: Rammstein
Peak Position: Germany #33



This song is intense. It doesn't let go except for one brief pause, and that is only to link you to the final epic finale that features blasting guitars, loud drumwork, and cannons. Yes, cannons. This song can be your coffee.


#14
Song: The Hardest Button to Button
Artist: The White Stripes
Peak Position: #8 Modern Rock



It is such a simple sound, but it is so catchy it lingers in your head for several hours. The song about a dysfunctional family works perfectly with White Stripes, a dysfunctional duo that features no bass, a drummer with no experience, and no extra member to enhance the sound. Yet----it still sounds better than music with bands full of members. I am looking at you, Maroon 5.


#13
Song: Bombs Over Baghdad
Artist: OutKast
Peak Position: #61 U.K. Singles



This is OutKast at its most experimental, its most off-the-wall, and its most insane. This mesh of rap, rock, jungle, and even gospel (I know...can't explain it) runs at about 924835939 beats per minute, and to this day contains one of the best beats ever heard in the hip-hop community.


#12
Song: Diablo Rojo
Artist: Rodrigo y Gabriella
Peak Position: n/a



No lyrics required, this song is about a roller coaster and plays like one for sure. The dueling Spanish guitar work of this duo is a sight to behold, and an absolute pleasure on the ears. Spanish guitar has never sounded so beautifully rampant.


#11
Song: Married Life
Artist: Michael Giaccino
Peak Position: n/a



This beautiful song complements one of the most beautifully animated scenes in the history of film. The 4 minutes of this gem showcases the entire marriage of two characters through the good, the bad, and the very unfortunate ending. Makes you smile, and then makes you cry all in a span of a car commercial. *snif* Curse these onions....


Part 4 is coming up soon...........I promise...

The World's End: 8/10

The final entry in the awesome Cornetto trilogy tastes a bit different from the other flavors.

It doesn’t have the satirical and spoof bite. It doesn’t have the low-budget texture.

The World’s End lacks the indie backyard persona we have come to expect from Edgar Wright and Simon Pegg. The movie feels…complete. It feels like it had an unlimited budget like a blockbuster. It feels more grown up, more mature, and more established as a pure film and not a mere wink and a nod to the genre it’s representing.

But the movie works, as its deviating shift in tone establishes the themes of nostalgia that’s heavy within its crazy 100 minutes. It increases the sentimental value while at the same time still delivering a very unique movie full of witty dialogue, full of hilarious moments, and contains plenty of action done with flawless direction by Edgar Wright. This movie excels on all cylinders from the writing to the acting to all the nitty gritty details that requires multiple viewings to catch—the shots, the sound effects, even the names of the bars are connected in a subtle way.

The best and worst thing about this movie is how it’s drastically different from Shaun and Hot Fuzz. It keeps you on edge; it keeps you guessing, and pulls the carpet from under your feet. It almost feels like the cast that had participated in the previous entries had matured and had calmed down, even if they are playing totally different characters. And for that their performances deserve heavy praise, especially Nick Frost and Simon Pegg whom were playing characters that are very different to their usual niche.

Lastly, the final act is quite possibly the ballsiest final act you’ll see in a movie all year, as it purposely refuses to wrap up the package in a pretty bow, instead giving you curveball after curveball and leaving you analyzing what you just saw. While this will definitely turn off some viewers, one has to admire the effort to refuse to adhere to a typical finish.

The World’s End lacks the whimsical pop of the previous entries but overall it is a well-structured film with more humor, action, and creativity than your average blockbuster. Consider it to be the dark chocolate cornetto of the trio; mildly sharp, mildly bitter, but overall satisfying to the very end.

Top 25 Songs of the Millenium (So Far) [Part 2/5]

This is part 2 of my article about the best songs that have come out in this millennium so far. Here we go!

Part 1 In Case You Missed It

#20
Song: Soarin' Over California
Artist: Jerry Goldsmith
Peak Position: n/a


There is a lot of history behind this song, but overall this is Goldsmith's swan song as he composed this shortly before his death. Disney rumor has it he did the score for free since he loved the ride so much. Whatever the truth is, the soundtrack he made was absolutely perfect and essential with the ride.


#19
Song: Some Chords
Artist: Deadmau5
Peak Position: n/a


Deadmau5 is my favorite DJ/dance producer since Fatboy Slim. And his coup de grace is Some Chords, which is a 7 minute marathon of beats and bass that starts out low and eventually builds into a hopping track that leaves you in a pure trance.


#18
Song: Boulevard of Broken Dreams
Artist: Green Day
Peak Position: #1 in Both Rock Charts



While this is the song that ultimately killed Green Day's 90s punk sound it is still an excellent track with a great beat, bleak lyrics, and a profound mix of pop punk and soft rock that resonated well with critics and listeners everywhere. But yea...not sure if I would have preferred the existence of American Idiot or a continuation of their 90s reign on the punk scene.


#17
Song: God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen
Artist: Barenaked Ladies and Sarah MaLachan
Peak Position: n/a



This is the best Christmas song released since Home Alone 2's soundtrack in the early 90s. Bar none. Nice laid-back sound supported by MaLachan's eternally amazing vocal talent.


#16
Song: Kryptonite
Artist: 3 Doors Down
Peak Position: #1 in Both Rock Charts



Beautiful rock song about heroes, 3 Doors Down became a mainstream favorite for years thanks to this song, which is heavy on the guitar but never to a point that the weaker ears can't handle it. From vocals to lyrics to drumwork, its a near-flawless song overall.


Part 3 Coming Up..............

Top 25 Songs of the Millenium (So Far) [Part 1/5]

In honor of Grantland's bloody awful tournament of greatest songs of the millennium, I went to my ITunes and composed a list of what I consider to be the greatest songs of the past 13 years or so. The rule is simple: Must be from this millennium. It can be rock, rap, in Spanish, in German, and it doesn't even have to have any words. This list will quite differ from the last time I did a list like this, but my musical tastes have warped a bit in the past couple years.

No more interrupting, here we go!

But, we have some Special Mentions before we get to the list:

Amerika (Good ol' German metal discussing America)
A Milli (Legendary freestyle turned into a hit song)
Ghosts n' Stuff (Deadmau5 is the best dance producer in the past 15 years)
Ixtapa (Beautiful instrumental by Rodrigo y Gabriella)
Stan (Haunting. Vicious. Tough to listen)
We Are Going to Be Friends (The ONLY good thing about Napoleon Dynamite)
Get Lucky (Best song of 2013)
Malaguena Salerosa (Beautiful Mexican song by Robert Rodriguez)
It Wasn't Me (Shaggy: Most unexpected artist to hit Diamond status)
Yellow (Coldplay's best love song)
Sorry for Party Rocking (LMFAO's most underrated song)
My United States of Whatever (2 minutes of random fun)
Guaranteed (Eddie Vedder's best non-Pearl Jam moment)
Don't Tell Me (Madonna's best song since Take a Bow)
Just Dance (Lady GaGa before the selling out)
Harlem Shake (*dances*)
Hollaback Girl (The most overplayed song in history. Still fun)
The Scientist (The meta-sequel to Yellow)
Take Care (Drake when he isn't trying to sound hard)
Not Ready to Die (Avenged Sevenfold and one of their many almost-eternally-epic songs)
Take Me Out (2 songs for the price of one)



And now, the list:

#25:
Song: Want You Bad
Artist: The Offspring
Peak Position: #10 Modern Rock


The Offspring still sounding heavy while delivering a nice love song about how they really, really, really, really want that special lady. It delivers the message without sacrificing the signature sound.
But I lie, its honestly about the man wanting the woman to dominate in bed.


#24:
Song: I Wrote This Back...in 1994
Artist: Dave Chappelle
Peak Position: N/A


Hilarious song about how 2Pac has managed to release, sell, and distribute more albums and songs after his death than when he was alive. This song reaffirms my theory that an imposter is making the records.


#23:
Song: In The End
Artist: Linkin Park
Peak Position: #2 on Hot 100


E.V.E.R.Y.O.N.E. knew this song back in 2001. It brought the genre of nu-metal into the mainstream and jumpstarted the latest time that rock conquered and dominated the airwaves. This was a heavy song that never overstays its welcome while still bringing the energy of Linkin Park's rougher songs.


#22
Song: The Way I Am
Artist: Eminem
Peak Position: #4 Irish Singles (Wait..what?)




This is the song where Eminem explodes. In terms of success, in terms of exposure, in terms of respect, and finally in terms of his patience with the rest of the planet. This song punches you in the gut with harsh lyrics and a spectacular beat. Modern rappers WISH they can sound this hardcore.



#21:
Song: Clint Eastwood
Artist: Gorillaz
Peak Position: #1 in Spain (Yep)




The Gorillaz were different, were fun, and were strange enough to feel indie while entertaining enough to meddle with mainstream success. This song is their signature stamp: a great hook, cool lyrics with a unique delivery, and fun rhythm.


Part 2 is coming up..............

Saving Baseball: 2013 Edition

This is my eighth installment of trying to fix baseball. But before we can get truly started, here are the previous versions:

Version #1 (I correctly predicted the Challanges aspect of Instant Reply, which is happening next year)

Version #2 (The Fixing Interleague Play edition)

Version #3 (I correctly predicted MLB caving in and giving YouTube the ability to show baseball clips)

Version #4

Version #5 (Includes proposal for an 88-game season)

Version #6 (Just discussing potential future locations)

Version #7 (The World Baseball Classic edition)

Now that those seven are out of the way, here is my eighth edition in fixing the greatest sport of them all into new heights of quality. Some are possible, some are impossible, some are hopeful, and all these I believe will clear out some of the small issues plaguing the sport.

1) Shorter Season

Let's all be honest, 162 games is a bit much in a modern society in which we have to do so much more than in the past when baseball games could always be played in the afternoon in front of a sold-out crowd. To me, my dream season would be 112 games with the modern playoff system implemented. It would give each game more importance, the rivalry games that much deadlier, and also would allow for the playoffs to breathe nicely in September as the NBA and NHL still not starting and the NFL just getting its feet wet. I don't see the owners ever agreeing to this as its less potential money in their pockets, but the sport would definitely improve with more days off and more open space for make-up games and potential one-game playoffs to decide the playoffs.

2)  32 teams, no all-season Interleague

Interleague ratings have suffered immensely because its appeal has taken a hit by existing year-round and creating mildly unfair schedules for certain teams. This unfairness has heightened because of the inclusion of the second Wild Card, which gives virtually all the middle teams a chance to make a run and have a shot at the playoffs. But if we add two teams and one in each league, we are looking at 4 divisions of 4 teams, and Interleague can revert back to being a summer fling and being a little more potentially organized. While I would love to see an Orlando team, we all know that's not going to happen with Florida having two sub-par attended teams.

In the future, I can see Portland, Albuquerque, one of the Appalachian states, and potentially an international city getting a team in the coming years. I strongly believe building an MLB team in Mexico would do amazing things to the sport.


3) A more set schedule

Look, I love baseball, but I will admit unless you are a diehard it is tough to keep track of your team. If we were to have specific guaranteed days of the week to host baseball games (like Football's usually-reliant Sundays) then we would have a better chance to be more invested. If you throw in a few more doubleheaders, then I can see baseball being played every Wednesday through Sunday with Mondays and Tuesdays being days off for travel or for make-up dates. If you were to run 24 weeks of 5 days of baseball, then that's 120 games. Nice schedule is you ask me.

4) Better marketing

We are getting much much better with marketing in MLB, but it still needs some extra work now that ESPN focuses primarily on NBA and college football. We need to make sure that there are heroes to root for amongst all the teams and a few villains we all need to root against. Every team has a personality and we must find ways to display them out for the world to see.


MLB has gotten better with its commercials though.

5) All-Star Game Changes

The All-Star Game has been diminished because of Interleague. But Interleague definitely isn't going away soon, the Mets/Yankees and Cubs/White Sox matches are just too much fun. What needs to be done is more events that give more players some exposure on the national stage. And not just the newer players, the veterans deserve their chance to shine too.

Similar to the NBA, MLB should adopt a Rookies vs. Sophomores so that way the world can see the rising stars of baseball. Imagine a team with Bryce Harper and Mike Trout taking on a staff with Yasiel Puig and Wil Myers? That would have been a sight to behold. I would also like to see a softball game amongst the veterans, and not one blended in with so many celebrities. They should really make a major push and see how many old-schoolers from the 80s and 90s they could grab.

Finally, the All-Star Game should not determine home-field advantage. That should end too.


6) Pure, Uncut Punishment for Cheaters

I have already mentioned this in an earlier post. For steroids, PED users and abusers: caught once 150 games, caught again permanent banishment from baseball.


7) Shorten the game a little

The game needs to sometimes speed up a few things. Little things like allowed only one timeout per at-bat, and only 2 per inning for each team. No warm-up pitches for the relief pitchers when they replace the starter unless there is an injury. If they are warming up in the bullpen, why do they need another 10-15 throws while the rest of us waits?

We need more balks towards pitchers that last more than 20 seconds between pitchers. The same goes with batters that take their sweet time trotting back to the plate. Baseball is indeed meant to be slow but every once in a while it can get quite frustrating.


8) Free Agency Changes

Now, we need a salary cap to even out the score a little better. Contracts should not run you past $300 million dollars for a player, not now, not ever. We need to make that the limit. We already have limits on what baseball teams can spend per year, but we need to also establish a minimum amount of money baseball teams should spend to continue existing in the league. Teams like the Houston Astros and Miami Marlins still make money despite frustrating fans and not seeing much of an attempt to improve at all. If we force these teams to spend a little more, then there's a better chance for role players and there will be actual effort in finding decent players-----especially if we punish the non-spenders by not giving them any of the luxury tax money for incompetence.

Baseball is a sport in which anybody can beat anybody, and no-name teams can band together and become great. But we need owners that care if there were to be any shot at a nice run. Putting a salary base as well as a salary cap can accomplish this.


This is about it for me, as instant replay, playoff system, and division layout has improved in recent years. And then there's the new major hunt for cheaters. Baseball is heading in the right direction, even if you don't always notice it. Here's to hoping the 2013 playoffs are just as exciting as this season has been.



Go Rays!!!!!

Kendrick Lamar: Stirring the Hip-Hop Pot

So apparently Lamar has started ruffling some feathers after supposedly calling out some names and proclaiming himself the King of New York among other things in this elongated yet delightful verse in a recent song. The entourage of responses from rappers left and right was the ultimate proof that Lamar definitely got the attention of the rap scene. My response?


Good.


Rap has gotten lazy. Hip-hop has gotten lazy. Nearly every single well-known rapper in the game right now has toned down their sound to appeal better to the mainstream ears. We are seeing more lame collaborations (Nelly doing country? Really?), we are hearing shorter and shorter verses on these rap songs (Nikki Minaj's High School has only 2 major verses, and 1 is coming from Lil' Wayne), very little creativity (OutKast, please come back), and the overall scene of hip-hop and rap has lately taken a few steps back. You have artists that should never be even rapping collaborating with well-known rappers (I am looking at you Chris Brown). And even whenever there is a new rapper that looks like is going to stir the pot a little, they eventually calm down and just conform.

Example: Big Sean just released a song with Miley Cyrus. Really?

Kendrick Lamar is a prime example of starting from the bottom, something Drake would never know about. He mixtaped his way from underground to getting that major record deal, and then coming out with an album that still sticks to his California roots. He may have noticed his genre of choice is dipping and decided to do something about it. He said he was the king of New York despite being from California, and did a cluster of shoutouts to other contemporary rappers before mentioning that his job is to destroy them and raise the game of rap to the next level.

None of it was offensive really, but he is taking a page from the 90s and decided to start some competition. And before you know it, rappers from all over the place (and some that weren't even mentioned in the verse) decided to release their quick responses to him. Lamar is a humble man, and was having some fun. And the rapid-fire responses is more evidence to his claim: Lamar is the best, and the genre has gotten lazy.

You can't respond within 72 hours with a song. That's extremely minimal time to work and perfect your craft. Do you really think three days of preparing and recording would deliver your best stuff? Instead of giving it more time to see if you can improve the lyrics, the structure, and the beat? And unless you are Eminem or Notorious, you cannot freestyle a good response quickly. Especially when going up against Lamar's moment in Control.

And check out the entourage of responders: Lupe Fiasco, Cassidy, Riff Raff, Joe Budden, The Mad Rapper, Mickey Factz, Mysonne, Bizarre, B.o.B., and plenty more. None of you guys were even mentioned, why are you responding to a supposed diss that wasn't even directed at you? Where were all of you before this song came out. Now the community is rebelling mildly against the proclaimed best M.C. in the game simply because Lamar secretly has a point.

Mild to decent rappers manage to slip into the mainstream and get attention from radio, MTV, YouTube, and more. A great rapper is one that is so unique, so creative, so talented that the music scene forces itself to adapt to listen to more of the artists' material. Did 2Pac and Notorious sound like everyone else in their heyday? No way, but they were so good that they started the trend of where music should be and what we should be listening to. By no means did Notorious and 2Pac invent rap or even gangster rap for that matter, but they brought it to a new level and became the dominant force in the musical community----even if it didn't last long.

Not saying Lamar is the next 2Pac, Notorious, OutKast, or even Eminem. But he is leaving his mark by releasing a good album with the underground edges that still managed to slip into the consciousness of the average music listener and the average hip-hop fan. And then is settling his mark by criticizing his contemporaries for failing to evolve the genre or improve upon the craft.

Rappers of today step up, because there is somebody definitely above you.

An Open (And Potentially Final) Letter to Gamestop

Dear Gamestop,





Screw you.


I defended your company and the policy of purchasing used games and re-selling new games to stores like yours when Microsoft essentially attempted to ultimately destroy this concept with the original model of the Xbox One. I defended you guys when one of Playstation’s top executives was hammering your business model to the ground. I firmly believed that we gamers have a right to purchase older games at cheaper prices because of the rising costs of video games. I believe we gamers have a right to re-sell the games we bought without experiencing any restrictions from the companies that worked on these games.

And then you guys pull off an absolutely dirty move by selling Xenoblade Chronicles, a pretty tough game to find, at $90 and marking them as used when we all know better and know that these games are most definitely not used.

Gamestop, this was amazingly low, lower than what Microsoft was attempting to do with their upcoming system. Lower than what Nintendo did to the Evo tournament. And quite frankly, I am going to say that this was the lowest thing any gaming-related company has done since Capcom’s fiasco involving Resident Evil on the 3DS and its inability to make a new save file. Your company knew that this game was going to be in limited supply because the actual release was a mere PR campaign by Nintendo to quiet Operation Rainfall. So you hung on to extra copies, marked them as used, and jacked the price.

Gamestop I am starting a personal campaign to never enter one of your stores until you dip the price of the rare (and underappreciated) Xenoblade Chronicles to a proper price. And stop trying to pull off shady moves like this....because I know this isn't your first lowbrow move trying to hack in some easy profits. And I know this has nothing to do with (most) of the employees that work in your stores and these are decisions by upper-upper management. But if I don’t take a stand and have others join me, what is to prevent your company from continuing to do things like this?

Xenoblade is not a modern eighth generation game; it is a rare Nintendo Wii game that is extremely tough to find in Western markets. I understand that the value of this game perhaps exceeds the $50 price tag that is supposed to be given to the game. But this still gives you no right to intrude and invade our desires of playing the game by pretty much forcing us to pay nearly $100 because your company knows full well that there is no other way to obtain this game unless a very small local game store happens to possess it.

Beginning today, I am not going to set foot inside one of your stores until you fix this nonsense. Immediately.



Sincerely,

Milton Malespin

P.S. This letter to you is also a blog entry. You will not be the only one reading this.

Seven Comedians That Need to make a Stand-Up Comedy Film

Kevin Hart's Let Me Explain is an amazingly successful tour-de-force that disproves the notion that stand-up comedies won't quite make it on the big screen. If you are a funny enough and respected enough comedian, you can definitely stand in front of an audience for an hour, film yourself doing so, and make millions presenting it to others that never quite have had the chance to actually see you live. Laughter is contagious, and seeing these kinds of films in movie theaters gives the stand-up that extra edge.



Kevin Hart is not the funniest man out there, but his career is resembling Eddie Murphy's epic 80s run the best: a good mix of lower-budget films mixed in with performances being shown on the big screen. This type of formula works well and it advertises your upcoming projects that much better. I assure you that because of Let Me Explain, his January 2014 collaboration with Ice Cube will have a much better chance of being successful.

That being said, I am compiled a short list of comedians whom I would love to see hit the big screen and have a temporary shot at big screen stardom. Some have been on the big screen, some have not,but overall these are seven people I would love to see tackle a stand-up comedy movie---uncut, untamed, and with plenty of wiggle room to get creative.

Honorable Mention:
1) Jim Gaffigan: He is arguably the most underrated comedian out there, as his jokes-per-minute ratio stands as among the best. Look how many he spit out in this one clip alone.

2) Louis C.K.: The highest-acclaimed comedian out there has done films already and even had one at Sundance, but I would like to see one with even more studio support

3) Whose Line is it Anyway Cast: An uncut version of the regular staff with 80-100 minutes of potential material to hit the big screen. Potential is great.




#7:Jerry Seinfeld

He is not everyone's cup of tea. His humor is extremely dry, very thick, subtle, sarcastic, and worded so intricately it would drive the sanest of people up the wall. That being said, his observational humor ran the 90s with his sitcom and his stand-up. His witty and fun pokes at daily life made the show as maddening and as timeless as it currently stands. I would love to see him attempt to tackle the 2010s and all the random things that occur in the world. He defeated the 90s. He should take on this current decade as well.



#6: Chris Tucker

Wasted talent. The man has been in ONE non Rush Hour movie since 1998. Are you kidding me? The man that stole every scene in Friday, the same man that pulled a great stand-up career, only ONE movie? And a drama that gave him 5 scenes??? No, I know the man is funny, and its up to the nonrestrictive big screen to allow the dog off the leash. Tucker, please come back. Please oh please.



#5: Conan O'Brian

Amazing writer. Great host. Hilarious man altogether. Conan gave us snippets of his uncut material with his Don't Stop documentary but we didn't see enough. Not enough at all. I would love to actually see him pull off one of these shows in its entirety for all of us to see. He can sing, he can play the guitar, he can (sort of) dance, and he can kill an audience with an abundance of great skits and jokes. While he is far cleaner and more controlled on TBS (most likely because of his fears of repeating an NBC incident), him on the big screen would be his big chance to truly go the whole nine yards.




#4: Chris Rock

Arguably the best alive comedian out there, even if he hasn't performed as much stand-up in recent years. Since the 90s he has been involved with more memorable quips and skits than any other comedian, including one that created so much controversy (the one I posted) he can't repeat it again. He is Kevin Hart on steroids, speed, and cocaine. He loves to rile up an audience in a heartbeat while backstab America with his take on politics and the way things are. Chris Rock is one of the legends, and the thing with legends is----you always want to see them, regardless of how many times you have seen them before.




#3: Eddie Murphy

Can I remind you all that this man conquered the 80s in cinema and also in stand-up? This man conquered Saturday Night Live, conquered comedy, and was well on his way to become one of the most recognizable entertainers in the last 100 years. And all this happened before the 90s when it started going downhill. And before the 2000s when it nearly hit rock bottom. And then before Norbit....ugh. Murphy almost attempted a comeback with an Oscar hosting gig until Brett Ratner ruined the chance for everybody. You need to come back to the big screen with new material, a new edge, and re-assert yourself as one of the greats. It would be a damn shame if your reputation erases what you did in the 80s.






#2: Dave Chappelle

Had the greatest sketch show in history. That's right, I rank it above the inconsistent Saturday Night Live. The Chappelle Show was glorious, every episode was funny, some skits will go down in h.i.s.t.o.r.y. as some of the greatest moments television has ever seen. But we all forget that his stand-up was downright on point as well. He has the charisma, he has the talent, and has the ability to pull off a legendary stand-up comedy movie to the likes of Pryor and Murphy. But...he needs a comeback. He dropped off the face of the earth after Africa, with little appearances here and there. I want him to come back, and the big screen would make for a great opening platform. Can you imagine a Chappelle Show-like movie?

P.S. Block Party doesn't count. That was far back in 2005.....too long ago.











#1: Bill Cosby


Bill. Freakin'. Cosby. The man is a bonafide legend that made only one film. Only one, and it still stands as one of the greatest you will ever see. He is a gifted storyteller, a decent human being, clean cut for the family to listen, and overwhelmingly one of the biggest influences to most of the comedians on this list. I would love to see a swan song of this legend as he makes one more movie, just one more. Tell your stories, spit your subtle (not as subtle as it used to be) politics, and please give us another taste of your stand-up that remains golden, that ages like fine wine, and is layers above almost every comedian before and after your glory days.

He remains one of my favorite comedians, and one of the remaining legends from the 80s, a time in which Pryor, Murphy, Seinfeld, Kingston, Carlin had their greatest years and greatest moments behind the microphone. While Bill Cosby's name won't have the mass market appeal of the others on this list, I can guarantee you it will still deliver. Simply because Bill Cosby rarely ever disappoints.

Yes, I did forgive him for Ghost Dad.

Red Sox/Rays: The New Top Baseball Rivalry

Ladies and gentlemen, I present you the top rivalry this season:

The Red Sox and Rays do not have a storied history.

They have not had many postseason showdowns.

They are not geographically close.

However, these two teams hate each other. The two fanbases aren't major fans of each other. And biggest of all, they are two of among the five best teams in baseball and are currently competing for the same division title.

And this bears repeating, they really, really hate each other.

The Red Sox and Yankees rivalry has boiled down considerably because the fights have diminished, the trash talk has toned down, and both teams have not really had similar records in recent years.



But the Rays and Red Sox are just one game apart right now. And just went through a tough, tough matchup that had layers of emotions boiling over. And this game and the Twitter war that followed is just the latest chapter in a string of run-ins that have become increasingly hostile and intense.

If you want to know when it all started, it was far back in 2000 when Pedro Martinez bullied the Devil Rays by hitting the very first batter, started a brawl, and then nearly tossed a no-hitter to follow the hit batsman. Just a month later, the Devil Rays managed to become the team to eliminate them that season, and resulted in the closer Roberto Hernandez waving good-bye to the Sox bench.

A few years of exchanges of close pitches, hits, near-fights, and verbal jabs, 2008 gave us the next chapter of the rivalry when things really took off. Both teams were fighting to be on top of the standings, and we then got this:



And then, Tampa did this to Boston:





And...well....this happened:




The biggest reasons for the rivalry is because of the very different fanbases involved, because of the role-reversal in terms of style of play and success, and because each team has been a major road block to each others' recent success---with Tampa causing more damage in recent years.

Boston lives and dies with their sports teams. Few cities passionately love their teams more than Boston. And on the other side of the coin you have the tortured fanbase of the Devil Rays/Rays, that have to compete with Red Sox Nation, Yankees Universe, and the Phillie Phanatics within their own territory. The Rays fans aren't as vocal, aren't as easy to find on television (Amongst the worst attendance in baseball since 1998), and are quite fed up with the bullying ways of the competition and the fans that always seem to outnumber them 4:1. It does get a bit jarring and irritating whenever you see a Rays game in Tampa and see more fans of the opposition.

Back in the day, Boston was known as the blue collar tough-as-nails organization that usually rounded up players willing to risk their lives for a win to represent the Sox. Now the Red Sox Nation has created a huge fanbase leading to huge amounts of money to spend on winning players. In terms of payroll, now the Red Sox are high up there with the Yankees, Angels, and Dodgers. The Rays on the other hand consist of rejected players from other franchises, rookies trying to make an impression, and heapings of unpopular role players that always manage to mesh together thanks to the artistry of Joe Maddon. To the Tampa Bay Rays, the Red Sox are just like the Yankees---rich, popular, and with a sentiment that they are more entitled to their success than others.

In the Rays' recent jarring quest for their first ring, the Red Sox are constantly there trying to get in the way. And this season, with arguably the best Rays lineup in its history, the urgency is there. With the Red Sox this season, they are trying to restore the image of the franchise that was absolutely tarnished after their ridiculous 2011 collapse and their awful season with Bobby Valentine.

This division ain't big enough for the two of them. And this is why the rivalry is picking up steam heading towards September.

And baseball is loving every single second of it.

The Lone Ranger: 8/10

So if it looks like a Western, feels like a Western, sounds like a Western, and paces like a Western.....

Then it must be a Western, right? So why is it getting so much slack for being a new-age spaghetti western? Yes The Lone Ranger is a mess. Yes it has an extremely poor script. And yes, it definitely has some jarring tonal shifts. However this movie is still entertaining, still beautifully and skillfully directed by mild-indie-at-heart Gore Verbinski, and still has some great performances that add life to a script that has no clue where it wants to go. In the midst of the bloated budget and issues lies a decent movie that will indeed keep you on your toes.

There are many theories I have towards why everyone is panning this film: it could be the Johnny Depp/Disney overkill we have seen this past decade, it could be that Westerns don't have the appeal that they used to, and lastly it might be the anti-American taint that viewers might get out of the movie. Whatever the reason, The Lone Ranger might be a film that will be dissected for years to come simply because it is a breathing contradiction in so many ways.

It runs as both a homage to Westerns (There are nods to John Ford and Sergio Leone classics) while also becoming an anti-Western that disassembles the stereotypes and misconceptions of the Wild West (Similar to what Unforgiven did in the 90s). The movie can be quite comical, but also deathly serious not too long before and not too long after. The movie poses as a pure Western at times, while at other times throwing some major supernatural elements for good measure. And lastly it can play like a kid's fantasy, while at the same time it throws some heavy undertones about race, class, and Manifest Destiny.

The biggest reason for the quality of this origin story is the incredible direction by Gore Verbinski. Verbinski, whether you love him or hate him, can take any terrible script and can craft some magic out of it. The Mexican, At World's End, and The Lone Ranger are great examples of terrible scripts being saved because of Verbinski's attention to detail, ability to carve a great action sequence, and ability to always have a slight indie edge over the typical Hollywood director. Love or hate Johnny Depp, he still breathes layers of life and personality to the usually one-note partner Tonto. Artie Hammer, despite awkwardly being second banana despite being the main character, excels as the famed hero with the smaller dosage of material given.

Just like your average blockbuster, if you can stomach some of the setbacks then you will have a good time. With the Lone Ranger it takes longer for the movie to take off, but once it does you will marvel at the cinematography, laugh at Depp and Hammer's chemistry (and hidden visual humor), and get blown away by the final action sequence that will stand as the most creative you'll see all summer.

The Lone Ranger is what happens when you try to mix a Western with a blockbuster personality—it's a tough oil/water mix but it still works thanks to the creative and potentially bizarre Western-loving mind of Gore Verbinski.