More NBA Stupidity, Vol. 4439955

Guess what San Antonio Spurs, you are not the Los Angeles Lakers.

Therefore, you shall be punished.

In what will most likely be the stupidest penalty in the NBA since punishing bench players for helping out Steve Nash during the 2007 Western Conference Finals Foul Heard Round the World, the evil commissioner known as David Stern is going to fine and/or suspend Greg Popovich for sending most of his starters home as opposed to using them to play the Heat in a nationally-televised game. While it had been only the Heat’s 2nd game in around a week, the Spurs had been playing a 5-game stretch in around that same period of time.

Never mind that the stupid NBA season is now 82 games as opposed to last seasons’ seemingly-more-exciting 66 games. Never mind that the Spurs are among the oldest teams in all of sports (Tim Duncan’s rookie season occurred when LeBron James was only 13 years old). Never mind that we have not even hit December yet, making this matchup against the Heat rather meaningless. This would be similar to Bud Selig getting mad because the Yankees skipped C.C. Sabathia’s May start against the Red Sox.

Punishing the Spurs for this action is purely a commissioner going too far in his reign. He has no right dictating how a coach runs his team. He has no right telling the coach when the right time to rest all the starters is. And the dumbest part in all this is that Poppa has done this before, several times last season when the games clustered too closely. So why is it an issue now?

Because the Spurs were playing the Miami Heat.

No other reason.


Aside from the Horry Smash, the San Antonio Spurs had always played with humility, dignity, and class. But because the game was televised and it was against the NBA’s new favorite team, they are being looked at as a villain for throwing the bench against them.


David Stern, until your scheduling provides a little more fairness, and until you can cut down on the amount of games per season, older teams are going to have to rest every so often in order to survive playing basketball from October to potentially June---it is that simple. You can punish them for resting, but it is inevitable, they will find a way to rest, regardless of whom they are playing.

P.S. David Stern, would you be upset if they rested their starters against the Charlotte Bobcats?

Skyfall: 8/10

Good action movie that almost feels like a Bond flick. Almost.....


It still barely feels like Bond, but this is still the best of the latest generation bunch and the best since the 1995 gem Goldeneye.

Skyfall borrows from this recurring theme of cinema of taking well-known franchises and adding this dark reboot twist to give it a fresh perspective while also throwing some old-school flavor into it. The technique might be a bit odd, since this already happened in Casino Royale. Behind the camera is indie darling Sam Mendes, an accomplished director, to add some visual flair and technique to a film series that is mysteriously devoid of good directors and cinematographers. And Mendes' direction not only enhances the exotic film locations and exquisite action sequences, but also manages to hide most of the errors and setbacks behind the movie.

The movie immediately takes off from the getgo, revealing the conflict within the first minute, and leading to an extended action/chase sequence that rivals among the best Bond has ever been involved in. And then we get taken by one of the better title sequences in recent memory featuring another strong Adele performance. How on earth was this film going to maintain the momentum of the first twenty minutes? Here's a little hint: it barely does.

Daniel Craig has gotten a lot of criticism from the old-school Bond fans about his portrayal, and his performance here will not dwell the flames. That being said, Craig in his third round as the famed hero displays that he is indeed able to pull the charm, humor, sophistication, and suave of the other Bonds----if the writing staff can ever let him. But the writers and producers are hellbent on making sure that the Connery/Moore James Bond never makes its way back into the big screen.

And this is where the movie mildly stumbles, not in directing or acting, but in the writing department. Composed by a three-person team, the plot never allows for us to get too comfortable with any of the supporting characters; from the Bond girls to not even the main villain—whom doesn't even show up in the first act (Despite it being brilliantly done by Javier Bardem, even if his character becomes extremely uneven towards the end). The final third inexplicably treads into prologue territory, when it could have been used earlier when the agency was in disarray as the conflict elevates when the entire cast of protagonists are under attack. And lastly, they still fail to give the movie the special James Bond touch, that little catalyst that for decades has separated itself from the usual action movie fare.

Skyfall is part of the biggest enigma I face in cinema today: am I willing to accept this new direction of James Bond and his more brutal, dark, but more realistic look? Or should I yearn for the old-school days when it was hapless escapism that can hide any ridiculousness or stupidity with layers of charm, sexiness, and classy adult fun? These recent Bonds have been done with plenty of effort and quality, but what gets sacrificed is the little nitty-gritty sparks that made James Bond an icon in the first place. So I'm torn.

In the meantime, I will accept Skyfall as a good, perfectly-directed action movie that survives a third act flounder and some questionable writing and hangs on as the best Bond since Pierce Brosnan.

The Continuing Douchebag Adventures of Jeffrey Loria

Jeffery Loria, you are a douchebag.


A pure, true-blue no-holds-barred douchebag. And I never dedicate an article to just purely insulting one individual. But this man deserves every ounce of negative press that he could possibly receive.




I don’t think there’s enough time in the world to forgive your actions. You already destroyed the Expos last decade and pretty much ruined baseball in Montreal for eternity (Toronto baseball still surviving is a miracle, pure and simple), just because they would not help you build a stadium. Instead of finding alternate means, you went behind the back of Major League Baseball and moved the entire front office of the Expos to Miami, forcing the league to actually buy the team temporarily while finding a solution.



And now you have not only destroyed the Marlins for the third time in 10 years, but did so in a most disgusting manner....one that seemed planned from the beginning. 


The city of Miami FINANCED your damn stadium. The PUBLIC mostly paid for that beautiful ballpark. You managed to con the entire city to build a stadium for you, only for you to shred the team merely one year after making all the pickups. And there’s no way it’s because you were losing money, because with most of the new changes already paid for and the attendance increasing vividly throughout the 2012 season, I can guarantee you and bet you my entire life he was profiting off of this.

Loria (may have) wanted to win in one season, wanted to win immediately, and like a whiny little runt he engaged in a tantrum when things didn’t go his way. Let’s neglect the fact that we have had 9 different champions this millennium already (including…the Marlins, which got blown up quickly after) and neglect the fact that baseball is the toughest sport to win immediately and win consistently. Let’s also neglect the fact that the Marlins are in a nasty division with the Braves, Phillies, and even Nationals kicking arse in the second half.

He wanted to win as soon as possible.

And when it wasn’t soon enough, he blew up the team again, once again neglecting the city of Miami an opportunity to warm up and get used to the ragtag group of players in the Marlins uniform.

Just like in 2004.




And just like in 2006.



And remember the Marlins already lost a good group quickly after success back in 1998.


Can you imagine the Rays reacting that quickly towards Joe Maddon when he first started? Before Game 162, before winning the AL East in 2010, before the Surprise-Surprise 2008 season, Maddon had a 127-197 record in Tampa. Imagine if they had fired him and destroyed his young team before we had the chance to get to know them. Then NONE, repeat, NONE of the low-budget, subculture success would have occurred. It takes time for a baseball team to mold into a successful commodity. The Giants required years of building before becoming the oddest, yet most successful franchise in baseball currently with two of the last three championships.


And as a seemingly intentional spit at the face on Montreal, his Marlins trade away plenty of great talent to Toronto for pennies. The Marlins got essentially nothing but salary clearance, more savings, and more money for Loria to blow away doing stupid nonsense. So now the question is, with not even giving Marlins fans a full season to test out the lineup, is there a chance he baited the taxpayers with big names, only to send them all over Major League Baseball to save money on spending and cash in what he got from the Marlins Park?


It’s funny because before the season, I questioned the safety of rooting for the Marlins after its history of overreaction and cost-cutting on the oddest and stupidest of moments. And it is happening again. But this time, at the expense of all the locals in the area….which allows for this to sting a bit more….much more in fact.

So this will bear repeating:





Jeffery Loria: You are a douchebag.





Thanks for killing any chance of the Marlins building an eventual fanbase…again.

English-American Football? Pass.

So the NFL desires that in the near future we have a football team all the way out in London. No, not London in Ohio, not London in California, and not the London in Arkansas. As in, the actual legit London over in the United Kingdom in the European side.

I’m sorry, what?

The National Football League, a place that satisfies itself by calling itself America’s Game, wants American teams to travel all the way across the Atlantic to play football? Are you kidding me? The rumor is they want the Jacksonville Jaguars to become the London Jags. So wait, we aren’t looking north for football teams in Canada, and we aren’t looking just a little south for Mexico? London is really the solution for expansion? This idea is nine layers of silliness and stupidity, and would further my disdain for the current commissioner for turning this league into quite ridiculous pudding.

Honestly, outside the Northeast (sort of), every team in football would have a miserable time heading over there, across an ocean and several time zones to play one measly game. And before you scream “WHY are you defending players getting played millions to play a sport!?!?!?” consider this: will a team traveling 7 hours at least and run into a considerable amount of jetlag play their true-blue football? And what if a player suffers a concussion and can’t fly? That player could miss potentially two games over one hit.

And what about people wanting to watch the game? Some viewers may have to be awake by 11:00 in the morning to watch a late afternoon game as their team sloppily plays London. And now you have to throw in the potential Thursday or Monday Night game into the monkey wrench of a schedule. Imagine the Patriots having a Monday night game, and then flying over to London for the next game, with a Thursday night game down the road. Pure nightmare.

Roger, if you want to improve the brand of football and exposure of the NFL and their players, there are many other ways to pull this off. Start an American Football tournament of some sort every 4-5 years similar to what is happening with basketball and baseball with the FIBA Basketball World Cup and the World Baseball Classic. Both of the tournaments I mentioned have increased dramatically in popularity and appeal over the years thanks to improving technology allowing us to embellish ourselves heavily in all the games.

You can hold the tournament in Europe so countries like Ireland, Germany, England, Greece, and others can see professional football in their home turf. That way it minimizes the travel and provides a consistent time zone for viewing, as opposed to an NFL season the covers 9 time zones (it gets more and more ridiculous the more I think about it).

What about the Pro Bowl? Why not hold the Pro Bowl over in Europe every year? I am sure England and Germany would not mind seeing all the biggest stars of the league showing up to play a game. Its not like the Pro Bowl is actually even witnessed in the United States. I am pretty sure London would rather see Tom Brady and Aaron Rodgers face off as opposed to watching 8 games of a pitiful franchise that mercifully was removed from Jacksonville.

The NFL is the biggest sport in the nation, but expanding to London is pointless, stupid, and downright atrociously cruel to all the players and teams that will have to adjust practically everything to accommodate traveling to another continent to play one game. Sorry, but with the potential of expanding to our neighbors (whom are much closer), there are dozens of other ways to expand the exposure of the league. And even if you truly madly deeply want Europe to be invested, then play the Pro Bowl over there. The explosion of the NBA’s popularity around the world happened because of the Dream Team in the 1992 Olympics. Sending your best players to display their talent is far better than sending a half-ass team to attempt to capture an audience that will eternally be invested to the original Football.

I have no problem with the NFL going over to Europe.

Just don’t make it a 16-week affair.

LucasArts: The Best Disney Purchase Since Pixar

The nerd world has once again gone nuts as Disney once again reaches into the subculture underground and gets their hands on another franchise well-known to the Cons and the Conventions.


[And of course, let’s not forget me, who had discussed Star Wars 7 one year ago, discussed how Star Wars could improve Hollywood Studios, and even brought up how to improve Star Wars Weekends. With not having to pay George Lucas, chances have automatically improved.]


The purchasing of LucasArts was a decision that was surprising while at the same mildly expected. Disney, George Lucas, and the world of LucasArts have had an outstanding relationship since the 1980s when plans for the Star Tours attractions was getting off the ground. Before you know it, Star Wars finds its way into several of the Disney parks as well as even some Indiana Jones appearances. And then add the fact that George Lucas has been mulling retirement for the longest time. All the industry experts secretly knew that if there was a place where Star Wars was going to land after Lucas passes on, it would definitely be Disney.

Similar to how Disney took over the Muppets (and eventually bought them) after the unfortunate passing of Jim Henson, Disney decided to grab the reigns of Star Wars with Lucas mildly throwing in the towel. And I am going to state this as fact: this is the best decision made by Disney since buying the powerhouse Pixar. This was smarter than getting the rights to Avatar (By FAR), smarter than purchasing Marvel (which still has their movie rights all over the map), smarter than expanding Fantasyland (the section of the Kingdom that needed the LEAST amount of help), and smarter than fighting to the death to get the World Cup.

There is absolutely nothing but good coming from this purchasing of the 4 billion company that has not been doing much in recent years. And this is in all aspects of entertainment, not just movies. Video games, the theme parks, merchandise, television, and potential crossovers with other franchises are all in the mix now that LucasArts is under Disney’s power.

But let’s start with the movies division regardless. We have Star Wars 7 within the next couple years, and I can damn near guarantee you that we will have more Star Wars in the future. Expect that part 8 and 9 that fans have been dreaming about. And then let’s not forget the 3-D remakes of all the other Star Wars movies that will be popping up throughout this decade. What I can see Disney doing is the Pixar effect, in which they hand the smaller companies good chunks of money and in return receive their product without attempting to interfere. It has worked quite well as Whedon’s vision of Avengers has generated nearly 2 billion in box office alone, and Pixar has produced 13 consecutive movies that has earned over $100 in the United States box office. 

Disney’s relationship with some of the better sci-fi directors in recent years remains quite good, so Disney can choose from Abrams, Whedon, Spielberg, Raimi, and perhaps even Brad Bird to carry the Star Wars mantle. Now, before you all scream about how this is still George Lucas’ creation, remember this: the best Star Wars was directed by somebody else. And if I have to tell you which Star Wars I am talking about, then shame on you.

And what if Disney wants to hand a part of Star Wars to Pixar? Can you imagine the animation staff behind Wall-E creating a Star Wars universe? I certainly wouldn’t object to that—although I still ponder why Pixar hasn’t gotten a Marvel project yet. And let’s not forget---we also have Indiana Jones.



Kingdom Hearts 3 already had potential out of the gate with the purchase of Pixar, Muppets, AND Marvel after the release of the original. Now we can add Star Wars to this. Kingdom Hearts 3 automatically has emerged as Disney’s potentially biggest gaming project if they decide to utilize this new purchase towards the long-anticipated game. It does not end there, as Star Wars games in general tend to do a decent job, with Rogue Squadron, Super Star Wars, and Knights of the Old Republic being good examples. And, perhaps, Knights of the Old Republic will also finally receive that third installment.

The boys around America have been shunned over the years with Disney princesses conquering the marketing of the theme parks and the television medium. Buying Marvel was purely a we-need-more-boys move. Now, with Star Wars, the mere idea of a Star Wars show FOLLOWING a Spider-Man show is enough for Disney XD to have a good run at the ratings peak on weekday afternoons and Saturday mornings. It also would not surprise me if they start airing all the movies constantly on ABC Family---anything to replace the Harry Potter movies that despite their success and (sometimes) quality it’s actually more fodder for the competition.



Lastly, how about the theme parks? Star Tours II isn’t exactly a smash-smash hit, but it still draws a loyal following. But can you imagine a Star Wars SECTION in Hollywood Studios? Equipped with an actual building for the Jedi Training Academy, a roller coaster based off one of the moments in the duel-trilogy, and perhaps even the Cantina bar being re-created for guests? I think the theme of the park should be Hollywood brought to life, not necessarily the Studios theme that they have unsuccessfully tried to manage over the years. Perhaps with this new focus, Star Wars will expand, giving us fans more to enjoy. And then there is the potential for expanding and improving Star Wars Weekends….

 Bottom Line: The big winner in this is George Lucas, for finally handing the reigns to a good company notoriously protective and passionate about their product---while making good money on the side. But Disney is no slouch here, as they are incorporating a new business strategy by purchasing creative companies whose limit is budget, which is something Disney has way more of. Imagine Star Wars with Disney budgets and marketing, from movies to television to other mediums. Even though it coast them several billion, I can still see the stock and shareholders of the company smiling and laughing all the way to the bank.










P.S. This needs to happen faaaaaaar more often now that we own it.

Wreck-It Ralph: 7/10

Fresh Story full of Familiar Flavor, Wreck-It Ralph is nostalgically entertaining, 2 November 2012


Wreck-it Ralph is Hollywood's latest foray in to the subculture world of gaming---a world that Hollywood essentially knows nothing about, with examples I refuse to mention so I don't have the sensation of throwing up. Except this time its Disney turning on the nostalgia while delivering a fresh story that involves a mixing of classic-style arcade games with the new-school arcade hits that we currently see. So what we have is a pure gamer movie, right?

Not quite. It is not a gamer's movie, it is really an animated movie with many, many nods to the world of arcade and console gaming. There is a major difference. You don't have the pacing, style, mood, and tone of a video game here unlike the visually stimulating whirlwind of a trip we experienced in Scott Pilgrim vs. the World (Seriously, if you have not seen this movie yet, get to it immediately). Instead you have a movie with a major Disney touch and essentially becoming the modern-day version of Who Framed Roger Rabbit---a new cast of characters being joined by dozens of cameos from old-school favorites.

Don't let this statement deter you, just let it allow you to hover your mind around the fact that the cameos you saw in the trailer was not a sample, it was a display of the entire menu. Luckily for this movie, the cast of characters featured are very likable, have their moments to shine, and do propel the movie forward when the plot (and amount of references) gets stuck in the mud. From the lovable baddie Wreck-It Ralph to the adorably filthy and sarcastic Vannelope (brilliantly executed by Sarah Silverman, an underrated comedic gem), you will feel for the characters much like when you immerse yourself in a gigantic video game. You will root for the two as they both fight for a place in gaming society, in a world that mistreats the outcasts, gaming villains, and anything too retro.

In a sort of ironic twist, Disney and Nintendo (the current gaming leader) are very alike in mannerisms, and also very similar in how their audience reach prevents them from fulfilling their true potential. With Nintendo they aim to remain looking hardcore while attempting to reach out into the mainstream. With Wreck-It Ralph, it was a kids movie full of sight and verbal gags that will giggle the children and tweens while severely pushing heavy and subtle gaming references to the 80s, 90s, and gamers of today even. There is a Leroy Jenkins reference for crying out loud. Surely everyone gets their spoonful of fun, but it prevents the movie from truly pushing towards something edgy, something more.

But what they do deliver, is a delightful movie that is chock full of nostalgia and originality. This awkward mix works for the company that saved the gaming industry, and works for the film that celebrates it.