My Week With Marilyn: 7/10

Beautiful women are the most dangerous creatures on earth. With a few words and a few movements they can bring you down to your knees and remove you of any common sense whatsoever. And this is the theme of My Week with Marilyn---a beautiful woman unknowingly in pure control of a movie set despite all of her delays, nuisances, and ridiculous moments.

And that's pretty much my reaction to this film—that despite some of its slower moments and flaws I can't help but be embellished in the performance and beauty of Michelle Williams as the dazzling yet emotionally flawed Marilyn Monroe. While this movie doesn't teach us anything that we avid Monroe fans (and to an extent, pop culture) already know, it's still lighthearted and breezy enough to keep you entertained for the hour and a half.

Basically My Week with Marilyn follows the third assistant director that got extremely fortunate in spending some intimate time with Marilyn Monroe (mostly during her emotional unraveling) during production of one of her films in England. Throughout the movie you get to see all the difficulties surrounding her tardiness, method of acting, and sometimes utterly lost persona that she became notorious for in the latter part of her career. But in spite of this, everyone was still infatuated with her because of the deadly blend of personality, sexuality, and divine beauty that made her a sex symbol and eventual film legend.

But, most of us already know this, so why watch this film in general?

Because there is an excellent cast here and some great cinematography that will offset the streamlined script and simple direction. Although nobody can truly match and imitate the original symbol of Hollywood beauty, Michelle Williams was darn close, close enough to deserve that Oscar nomination. And then there's the supporting staff from the always-delightful Judi Dench to Kenneth Branagh to our lead star Eddie Redmayne. They play each other well and allow the film to have some charming personality and flair.

But it's all about Williams being Monroe. And as Monroe, she will make you fall in love with her----and then break your heart.






Because that's exactly what beautiful women do.

Community Digital Estate Planning: 10/10

I never review episodes, I honestly never do. But I am making an exception here. I am going a little bit different here. This is because the quirky comedy is back in my life. After they all disappeared in the late 2000s, we have a television show that is carrying in the tradition of the creative cult hit shows that sprinkled network television and eventually embellished itself in reruns. Community’s Digital Estate Planning episode is hands-down one of the funniest things I’ve seen in a very long time. After watching this, I have finally found the show that will fill the void that was left by the disappearance of Scrubs, Everybody Hates Chris, My Name is Earl, and Arrested Development.

The shows I mentioned above were each comedies that were a cut above the rest because they were extremely creative, always found different ways to entertain, and sometimes were downright clever. Scrubs had their random flashbacks and cutaways while also combining crisp random humor and plenty of heart. My Name is Earl was very smart writing surrounding a very unique premise that builds in hilarity as the seasons progressed. Everybody Hates Chris was a satirical and insane look at life in Brooklyn in the 1980s—which was a combination of family sitcom with social/political/racial commentary combined with that Chris Rock twang. And Arrested Development was……Arrested Development.

Back to the episode. While this is a bit farther along the series timeline, it is easily for you to pick up and figure out the characterizations—even though it’s the plot that will keep you hooked. Without spoiling too much, one of the recently-deceased fathers of one of our main characters created a video game that he must complete in order to gain the inheritance.

And what follows is half an hour of 8-bit hilarity that mimics, spoofs, and pays tribute to video games of all sorts from Mario to Sonic to Zelda to your classic SNES and even the recent Minecraft. The jokes, references, and fun quips come flying from all directions and then to spice it some more there’s even a few surprises in the latter half. The more games you have played over the years, the more you’ll enjoy this episode. And to top it all off, after all the fun and mayhem---there is a nice poignant moment to seal the deal.

Community had escaped my grasp all these years but after a random trip to On Demand, I have finally seen the subtle cult hype, and now I am totally drawn in. One of the best written and directed episodes of any show I’ve seen in the past ten years, Community’s Digital Estate Planning is gold.

My Temporary Last Lap as a Magic Fan

Orlando Magic, you stupid, stupid organization.




You fired the best coach in the history of the franchise, the most successful coach in the history of the franchise, and one of the smartest men in basketball---in favor of a player who odds are is going to leave you by the end of next season. You fired the one coach that made Jamier Nelson, Hedo Turkoglu, Courtney Lee, and even Rashard Lewis look good, and the only coach that can boast that he beat the Celtics IN Boston on a Game 7.



You fired a coach that managed to keep a team deep in drama afloat all season to wind up in a respectable 6 seed without the team’s best player in the latter part of the season. You fired your best shot at a successful upcoming season. Who on earth is going to pick up the pieces now? Brian Shaw? Paul Silas? Who on earth could possibly spin this in a positive direction? How about keeping the man with a .641 winning percentage, and at one point four consecutive 50-win seasons?


You want to blame someone for the recent failures of the Magic? How about Mr. Otis Smith? He managed to trade off or let go of nearly every single player from that Magic squad that made the Finals and was just a couple mishaps away from truly having a shot of winning it all. At that point we were better than the more hyped squads like the Celtics and Cavaliers. And what happens? There goes Lee, Alston, Pietrus, Turkoglu, Lewis, Gortat, Bass and more. What do we get in return? Gilbert Arenas (ugh), Vince Carter (Double ugh), Glen Davis (Triple ugh), and I shall repeat this again………Gilbert Arenas.

(All this while still keeping Nelson)

You not only fired a good coach, but you also timed it very incorrectly. Why didn’t you wait and see if Howard was going to sign for more years in Orlando? Why didn’t you wait and see if Howard and Van Gundy were going to be able to bury the hatchet (Do recall the rumors about Jordan not liking Phil Jackson much—6 rings later they still probably don’t exchange Christmas cards)? The big question is, why now? Why do the firing now as opposed to waiting and seeing what pieces we can possibly pick up? Plenty of free agents are available to pick up. Why not wait and see whom we could possibly grab?


You fired without direction. You have handed the keys to the franchise to a driver that may not be riding for much longer---with Los Angeles and Brooklyn calling his name. And this is where I draw the line. I put up with the likes of Shaq, Penny, T-Mac, Steve Francis playing and then quiti—er, ditching us, I can survive Howard leaving. But to totally throw the coach that has made your organization one of the best in the NBA under the bus is inexplicable, inexplicably wrong, and just outright ridiculous in every possible way. In a case of history repeating itself, as what we saw with Brian Hill (twice), Doc Rivers, and now Van Gundy--the players sadly run the Orlando Magic--despite what might be best for the organization. Good luck finding a coach that can turn the Magic into a success when their current 2nd best player is Ryan Anderson............



You are setting us back several years by getting rid of Van Gundy, no matter which way you look at it. And once Howard leaves, we are just going the wrong direction even longer. As of now, the only time you will see me go to the Amway Center is to see them play the team that hires Van Gundy.





Because for as long as Howard remains part of the Magic, I won’t be.

The Dictator: 8/10

The Dictator suffers from a crazy case of multiple personality disorder.

On one hand, it can be quite smart—as its fast-paced subtle political humor flies over the heads of most the audience not as involved in the world of American elections—and has a funny yet feasible evil plot that loosely imitates real world activities. Basically involves a secretly overthrown dictator trying to win back the crown before an imposter totally changes the government of the oppressed country involves. And just wait until you see the sharp double-sided slap in the face to American politics.

On the other hand, it can be quite stupid with some crazy and sometimes utterly random humor—and some of it will definitely make you cringe.

On one hand, the movie has a bit of tenderness and heart that you just won’t find in Cohen’s previous works that victimize celebrities and practically anyone in his wrath. The story has some structure and even has a mild dosage of catharsis.

On the other hand, we still have the same unstructured crude humor that put Cohen and Larry Charles (The director) on the map with some sequences that range from bizarre to downright hilarious. If you couldn’t survive the nature of Borat and Bruno, then you’ll probably have trouble with this film as well.

So on one hand, The Dictator fails to truly shine as a comedic gem in the way Borat delivered years ago because it was usually too smart for its crude humor, while sometimes being too crude and lowbrow to be spitting some political commentary in subtle and unsubtle manners.

But on the other hand, it’s Sasha Baron Cohen and he will carry this picture and deliver laughs by any means necessary, and I mean ANY means necessary. Cohen is like Jim Carrey in the 90s—flippin’ crazy, risking plenty to entertain, and yet in the midst of the insanity carries enough heart and soul to make you truly care and root for the protagonist every time. The Dictator is Cohen’s movie, and he pulls off an excellent performance that allows you to merge past the film’s flaws ranging from the inconsistency to the rushed muddled ending.

So if you are searching for a good time, then The Dictator will provide, granted you can tolerate its incessant range of humor and timing of said humor. The Dictator aims very high and very low; which will result in you laughing, nervously chucking, cringing, and during some of the better segments nearly in tears.

The Steve Nash Effect

Not sure if you already knew this, but Steve Nash is available this offseason for signing. Surely he is a bit up there in age but remains one of the best point guards in the NBA. And unlike Douchebag Devon Williams (Thanks for killing the Jazz, sir), Steve Nash is a Class-A guy that will do whatever it takes to win without jeopardizing or threatening the franchise he is playing in. He has always been a team player, a wonderful athlete, and a great model as to what basketball players should be.

He is a two-time MVP that will deliver 100% to every game without complaint. Now, with the NBA talent being a bit more widespread, point guards have increased in value in recent years. Excellent players like LeBron James, Dwight Howard, and Carmelo Anthony have lacked a championship ring mainly because they don’t have a point guard to help create plays to further home their skills---among other reasons. I have compiled a list of the 5 basketball teams (With room to get him by the way) that will not only benefit from Nash joining them, but would and should propel them from playoff team to championship contender.

Close Contenders:
Memphis Grizzlies
Chicago Bulls


#4: New York Knicks

This is my dark horse pick. As a matter of fact, you could have just as easily thrown in the Grizzlies and Bulls on this fourth spot. It’s a dark horse pick because the Knicks already have a point guard—like Memphis and Chicago. But I place the Knicks here nonetheless because having Nash at front and the explosive Jeremy Lin off the bench would be a devastating combination that is not only feasible, it would be downright dangerous. Jeremy Lin is incredible—in small packages. He still doesn’t have the stamina to last a whole season as starter. Imagine being under the wing of Nash and come off the bench still with that energy that made him a media frenzy earlier in February. Much like Ginobli and Reddick, Lin would be the backup with starter potential that would give opposing second teams a run for their money. Nash, Melo, Amare, and Lin in the background? Nice.


#3: Los Angeles Lakers

Kobe Bryant is getting old. Mike Brown is not the best playmaker out there. Bynum and Gasol just don’t have the ability to consistently push and score points. Steve Nash would fix all this by crafting the shots, drawing pressure away from Kobe, and giving everyone else room to breathe and create some havoc. Not sure what the Lakers can financially secure but in terms of energy they need a major boost. Bryant’s willpower has always been there, but he’s quite a jerk in terms of trying to become a leader. With Steve Nash on board, Bryant can focus more on scoring while also doubling as a second dangerous passer. Nash, Bynum, Gasol, and Bryant together? Yikes.


#2: Orlando Magic

This is the sure-fire truth: The Orlando Magic right here, right now with the team intact are a point guard away from being truthfully the top team in the East. They have the shooters, they have the strategy-changing center (even if I hate him), and they have the depth that not even the Miami Heat can duplicate. You grab Nash and allow Nelson to push to shooting guard, then we have ourselves a squad that can outshoot you anytime, anyday. Steve Nash running the floor would be perfect for the Magic because they are small and they are very agile---and will definitely score 100-115 points a game.





#1: Miami Heat


Nobody tell Miami this, but Steve Nash on the team would guarantee them a championship, despite the weakish bench, and despite the lack of clutch. Wade, Nash, James and Bosh on the floor at the same time is strictly outrageously good enough to truly be a force to be reckoned with. Nash being able to feed two Hall of Famers on offense would be nothing short of euphoria for South Beach. Now, critics of this choice would argue the lack of a good coach (although Van Gundy might be available soon…) and good bench would still prevent the Heat from topping the Spurs and Thunder in this competitive league but the truth is with the energy Miami plays with and with the Big Three learning to co-exist amongst one another---why couldn’t they win it all under Nash? What could possibly stop them? The Heat are just missing a decent point guard to truly be a contender, and with Nash there’s no way they could fail. I just can’t see it.

Big Fish: 9/10

Tim Burton in recent years has dwelled into a familiar look, a familiar style, and to an extent a familiar cast of actors and actresses that continuously follow the man’s career. But in the midst of this consistent approach to directing films in the past decade is a movie so magical, so majestic and so unlike Burton you can hardly believe it was him behind the camera. That’s because Big Fish is his most emotionally-driven tale he’s ever done, and this requires quite a different tactic. Big Fish is his Schindler’s List, a movie that emotionally touches home to not only the viewer but to the director making it.

Big Fish is about a wrecked father-son relationship that tries to heal before the father passes away. But the father continues to reveal himself through tall tale stories that blend tons of fiction with plenty of reality—although the son is determined to figure out the truth behind all the life stories. Based on a late 90s novel by Daniel Wallace, this movie follows the life of the father (and all his crazy moments) leading up to the present with him inches from death.

Argue what you will about Burton’s look, his selection of actors has always been superb and it’s no different here. From the young Billy Crudup and Ewan McGregor running the show to great smaller performances by Jessica Lange, Helena Bothman Carter and Albert Finney we have ourselves a great cast representing a great group of characters we can easily grow to love and associate with.

While Burton has divulged into the typical dark gothic look with dark gloomy backgrounds and dark gloomy material, Big Fish’s Southern Gothic roots demanded a different look. And this is where Burton excels in more ways than one. The visual effects blended with the story quite well, the imagery was a beautiful mix of warm, dark, and downright colorful, and the cinematography made Alabama shine beautifully in ways that not even Forrest Gump could achieve.

Beautiful is the best way to describe Big Fish; from the writing to the acting to the overall look and feel. It tackled the father-son dynamic extremely well, flowed peacefully without ever feeling boring, and kept your interests and emotional investments nice and high up until the very end. While overall this will never go down as his most popular or more iconic movie, I can and will safely say that this is one of his best films and easily his best directing performance he’s ever going to deliver.

And unless he can learn to expand his directing horizons, this will remain true.

Confessions of a Grumpy Gamer

I’ve defended it for years. A very, very long time. Despite several setbacks, despite several problems, delays, disappointments, I remained skeptical of the criticism and tried justifying its issues. I can do it no longer, and I am about to say something that most my better friends would never expect me to ever say:


I hate the Nintendo Wii.


I honestly do.

Now, the system did have some masterful games and some of the top games in the past generation. The system did have plenty of wonderful moments in my households throughout its life. That being said, it is absolutely inexcusable for us to have next to nothing in the last two years of its lifespan. It is absolutely inexcusable that we still don’t have every classic available in the Virtual Console. And lastly, it is purely inexcusable to not truly figure out and master motion control until last year---with a slightly ironically disappointing Zelda game. While the Playstation 3 and XBox 306 hammered out smash hit after smash hit this previous holiday season, it was quite tough to watch the Wii release next to...nothing.

What frustrates me the most about the Wii was that it had so much potential it can bound and gag any game developer. That’s what hurts the most about this Nintendo system: it could have delivered so much—and even when it did deliver, it followed up with a disappointment and a couple steps backwards.

Metroid Prime 3 was the ultimate proof that shooters can work incredibly well on the Wii with the right amount of effort. Instead, Metroid Other M goes the entirely wrong direction in every single way----and we still don’t have that awesome collection of shooters that the Xbox 360 had. Aside from remakes like the Prime Trilogy, Goldeneye, Resident Evil 4, did Nintendo even have a decent shooter they can call their own?

Wii Sports was a superb way to introduce gamers to the world of motion gaming and sports. Unfortunately for all of us, aside from Mario Strikers Charged (and Punch-Out, but that game is much more precise button-pressing than anything else) the Nintendo Wii lacked a good collection of sports games that implement good Wii controls. And don’t get me started on the abomination that was Mario Power Tennis Wii version.

Even Super Mario took a step backwards. Mario Galaxy was an excellent franchise that tested the Wii graphical capabilities to the absolute limits. But everything else Mario just didn’t improve upon previous installations. The 2-D Mario games were decent but totally lack the personality and creativity of the SNES counterparts, Paper Mario Wii didn't hold a candle to the GC version, the Mario sports games were much scarcer and weaker when you did find them (Once again, Strikers Charged is the exception), and even the Mario Party series, a franchise that could have really benefited from motion controls, utterly sucked.

So we have these disappointments, but what really made my skin crawl was the utter lack of Nintendo franchises that made a splash in these recent years. The Wario Ware series never evolved after Smooth Moves, Pikmin , Star Fox, and F-Zero disappeared, Fire Emblem didn’t evolve, Pokemon went eight steps back, Earthbound is still a figment of our imagination, and Zelda became the only first-party beacon of hope in the last two years with Skyward Sword---although it still missed the mark. Don’t look now, but the 3DS is closely following the trend by STILL not delivering a sequel to Star Fox, F-Zero, Wario, Wario Ware, Pokemon (The next one is a DS title), and of course….Earthbound.

And it extends far more than just the present, what about the past? Virtual Console could have extended the lifespan of the Wii, and instead we still are missing games from the 90s, and the Wii is several years old!! What is the holdup!?!?!? Why is Earthbound still missing? Why is Yoshi’s Island still missing? There are at least 1,500 games between the NES, SNES, and N64. There are only 390 available in the North American region. Just saying.

All of this definitely comes extremely late, extremely delayed, but as I sit here and see PS3 and Xbox 360 still pour their hearts out while the next generation is looming nice and close, one can only become frustrated at the lack of execution of Nintendo and their most successful system in recent times. The Wii could have been so much more, it honestly could have.

It should have. And it’s not.

And now as I sit at home and stare at the Wii, it’s time to face the facts:



The Wii was quite a disappointment.

We Still Won't Sleep till' Brooklyn

We lost a music legend recently. MCA, the one-third of the awesome and undisputed 80s hip-hop champ Beastie Boys has lost his life because of cancer earlier this May. He had been suffering apparently for quite some time but remained under the radar because of the higher-profile deaths and because of the explosively fast world of the internet. That and also the fact that the Beastie Boys despite all their accomplishments and all they’ve given to the music world---their achievements and quality remains very far below the radar.

MCA and his buddies Mike D and Ad Rock conquered the late 80s hip hop scene beginning with arguably one of the best albums in history Licensed to Ill. This album wasn’t just a breakthrough for hip-hop as it attracted a heavy pop audience as well as nab the underground rap and even rock audiences. Their clever mix of fun lyrics, heavy hooks, and excellent beats allowed for their breakthrough album to transcend the music industry and sell over 9 million copies—making them the first hip-hop act to have a #1 album and also become the best-selling white hip-hop group in the history of music. Destroying the stereotype of whites not being able to rap for the life in them (even though the first rap song to hit #1 technically is “Rapture” by Blondie), Licensed to Ill is the first major record to successfully and craftily combine rock, rap, hip-hop and punk in a nice soup of musical delight.

But they weren’t done, even if their 15 minutes of pop fame was up. When the 90s kneeled over grunge had overwhelmed the music scene. Nonetheless, the Beastie Boys continued cranking out albums, remaining below the radar again until their incredible song “Sabotage” conquering MTV with its superb music video and heavy-heavy riff. For the rest of their career, the Beastie Boys would remain a staple of the 80s hip-hop while keeping the underground crowd happy—every once in a while peeping its head in the mainstream (Sabotage, Intergalactic anyone?)

To me, Beastie Boys were one of the best in the business because of their inability to conform to the mainstream, instead focusing on creating all sorts of different beats, sounds, and rhythms. Their style remained the same, but the beats behind the lyrics consistently ranged from soft, to dorky, to hardcore. To me they are one of the few acts to create great music in three different decades. They did not sell themselves out to sell more records. They could have changed their style or suited a style that was more friendly to the radio. Instead, the Beastie Boys continued to innovate, and continued to remain faithful to their underground roots. And while this sacrificed their limelight in the Billboard charts, it kept their loyal fanbase quite happy.

Rest in Peace MCA, your contributions to music was quite phenomenal, and to this day remains quite understated.

The Avengers: 8/10

Cinematic comic book joyride
4 May 2012

We waited a long time for this movie. An extremely long time. After years of waiting (Have I emphasized the waiting part yet?), years of hits (Iron Man, Thor), misses (The Incredible Hulk) and disappointments (Iron Man 2) we get the long-awaited reunion of all of the (accessible to Disney) Marvel heroes that eventually form the league of heroes known as the Avengers. This film is blockbuster fanfare at its finest, as this will please the newbie new-school Marvel fans as well as your hardcore old-schoolers.

The Avengers' plot is very straightforward, very simple. Loki (you know him from Thor) has arrived in the United States and steals this ultra-powerful sphere to attempt to take over the entire planet. Your classic comic book tale. Nick Fury attempts to unite several of the well-known superheroes that had remained under the watch of SHIELD over the years in order to bring Loki to intergalactic justice. It's a good ol' good vs. evil plot that paces like a comic book in terms of withholding the juicy content until the final act.

What makes this movie work is the superb script that is full of one-liners, full of complex interactions between our heroes that all come from very different backgrounds, and contains more than enough room to allow for action and mayhem to conquer the screen. Joss Whedon's style can clearly be heard through the dialogue, and his rabid cult following (which is the strongest in media aside from Tarantino) will devour every moment of it.

What also makes this movie work is the phenomenal amount of action that you'll see from the beginning to the end. Plenty of fights, plenty of carnage, plenty of heroes working together, and best of all they make up for the recent Marvel movies that had been sorely lacking in material. Every hero has their moment to shine, from the fan favorite Iron Man to even the weaker Hawkeye. And Hulk gets to smash, a lot, and boy does he deliver in ways you wouldn't expect. An added bonus is that our heroes despite having flaws and limitations are definitely likable enough for you to root for them—even the Hulk, who had been extremely poorly characterized over the yea-decades in media. You have the great acting ensemble to thank for that.

But....

The Avengers is a great movie, don't get me wrong, it will be worth your pennies. But, you can tell they were quite limited. Part of the appeal of The Avengers comic books were the cameo surprises and supervillians as well as the heroes. Instead, we have a villain that already was featured in a prior movie as well as nameless faceless boring baddies. And no cameos. One can only imagine if Disney actually pushed for the ability to bring in the Marvel characters already owned by other movie companies. Then, the potential will explode and reach levels of awesomeness that we see only in the comic books.

And for those of you that tell me movie companies working together is not possible, I bring Exhibit A: Who Framed Roger Rabbit---A Disney movie.

If we ever were to see The Avengers reach its full potential, we need to see Hollywood work together and be willing to bend a few rules. Until then, we get this: a great fun movie (and potentially great franchise) marred by its limited resources.