Dear Disney Channel Rocks,

You suck. Majorly. You guys can't sing, you can't dance, you can't really do anything that remotely resembles decent. I don't know what it is about this show that makes my blood boil: it could be the awful lyrics, the awful music, the dated dance moves, the ridiculously high volume during the performance, the selfish "its all about me" mannerism and nature, the conceited attitude, the constant missing of notes you didn't need to hit in the first place, or just the overall fact that in a Hollywood theme park, instead of looking to reach classic musicals like Grease, Chicago, Mary Poppins, we reach out to a distorted grouping of songs the performers call "greatest ever" and use this instead. I would greatly appreciate if you stop doing this show immediately and go back to do doing something else...anything else...anything, just not this. I am pretty sure one year from now, Cheetah Girls, Camp Rock and High School Musical will be an extremely distant memory.

But stop. Please. Honestly.

Sincerely,
Disney Fan.

P.S. Did I already mention your show sucks?

Last Post of 2010

Donna Summers is going to be the singer of this blog. This final blog for the year. This is it. No more after this…until 2011. Hit it Donna!!

Last [blog] last [blog] for [blogging]
yes, it's my last change for [bloggin’]
tonight I need you,
by me,
beside me,
to guide me,
to hold me,
to scold me,
'cause when I'm bad I'm so, so bad
So let's [blog], the last [blog]
let's [blog], the last [blog]
let's [blog], this last [blog] tonight (AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!)

Let’s just be clear about this: I work over 130 hours within the next two weeks. So this means I will not have the time to blog anymore about anything at all in the finals days of the rough and tough 2010. I have plenty of blog ideas for 2011, but I have to wait until after the insane days at Disney reaches its end.

Last [blog] last [blog] for [blogging]
yes, it's my last change for [bloggin’]
tonight I need you,
by me,
beside me,
to guide me,
to hold me,
to scold me,
'cause when I'm bad I'm so, so bad
So let's [blog], the last [blog]
let's [blog], the last [blog]
let's [blog], this last [blog] tonight (AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!)


Blogs that are coming up:
1) Total ranking of the 50 official Disney animated movies from worst to best
2) Video game collections Nintendo should release
3) How weed can and will save the economy
4) Present and Future of Video Gaming
5) Best music games of all-time
6) The Next Zelda

There’s also a third blog coming up. But in the meantime, this is it. Have a Merry Christmas and have a happy New Year!

Yeah, will you be my [Reader]?
can you fill my [Amount of blog views]?
………………………

The Greatest Sports Matches of 2010 (Part 2)

The Performance Heard' Round the World
Game: Yankees vs. Rays
September 15th

For the longest time there was only one rivalry in the AL East, which was the epic Red Sox/Yankees. Even after the short dominance of the Blue Jays, the short dominance of the Orioles, and the inclusion of the Tampa Bay Devil Rays, the Yanks and Red Sox remained the only rivalry in the division worth truly noting. Then came 2008, when the Rays literally came out of nowhere and snatched the division over the Red Sox and the Yankees. But before the division crown was claimed, the Yankees and Rays got into a heated fight in spring training, and the Red Sox and Rays had some tense moments. Before the Rays would enter the World Series, they engaged in a 7-game showdown against the Red Sox in a hotly-contested ALCS.

Fast-forward to today, with the Rays proving they are no fluke thanks to outstanding management, a deep farm system, and a talented group of young players. Now, the three-way rivalry between the Red Sox, Yankees, and Rays has gotten so out of hand that Major League Baseball has considered expanding the playoffs to give other teams a chance. They’ve even considered splitting up the three because the AL East emerged as the toughest and most competitive division in any professional sport.

Enter September 15th. The Yankees were in Tropicana Field for a big series against the Rays. After the Rays took the first game in a close game, the Yankees won the second game of the series with a very tense victory in extra innings. The usually-awful James Shields was going up against the rising star Phil Hughes. It was the rubber match and the Rays were leading 2-1 (great pitcher’s duel---with Shields settling down after a wild first) when Derek Jeter stepped to the plate on the 7th inning. A close pitch went towards Jeter, striking him, and awarding him first base.

But a funny thing happened. Derek Jeter did not get hit by the ball. As a matter of fact, there was a cork sound as the ball landed around the Yankee captain. The ball hit the bat. Now, what happened next started a firestorm that nobody could have predicted. The Rays were furious, the fans exploded in disgust, as the once-honorable man reduced himself to a decent acting performance as he pretended like the ball struck him on the arm, hurting him temporarily. Instant replay showed that it was not an obvious call by the umps, but the sound should have been evidence that Jeter was faking. But why question the Yankee captain? Was he really stooping this low? Were the Yankees beginning to fear the Rays? They couldn’t win the old-fashioned way?

The pretend hit did more than just give Jeter first base, it got Joe Maddon ejected from the game, and then it allowed a home run by the next batter, sending the stadium to a frenzy that does not happen enough in Tampa Bay. The Yankees took a 3-2 lead by the time the Rays went up to bat. The playoff atmosphere was oozing everywhere, as everyone was still bitter about the Jeter hit. The fans, the spectators, the commentators, were all still in utter shock that one of baseball’s golden stars did what he did. Now us Rays fans had more reason to hate the Yankees, especially if they walk away with this close game over that call.

Crawford and Longoria were out in the bottom half of the 7th inning. Phil Hughes was looking good, and ready to win the series. Matt Joyce however smacks in a single, giving the Rays a little emotional boost. Dan Johnson was up to the plate, with already one home run under his belt. We couldn’t have expected another home run off of Hughes, that’s just too much. He was just playing in Japan we would be asking too mu---oh my goodness.

Dan Johnson blasted a second home run, pushed the momentum the other direction, and sent Tropicana Field into an absolute frenzy. The Rays led 4-3 and first place was once again within their grasp. By the time the game had ended, the Rays were in first, were gaining much more respect in the baseball world, and Jeter's seemingly innocent move turned into major controversy about sportsmanship, and about his legacy.

However this series was not without its consequences. The Rays and the Yankees were so fatigued fighting so much (especially during this three-game series) that their stamina was coming to an end as the surging Rangers showed up and beat them in the playoffs. The reason I picked this game was because it was an early September game with more playoff atmosphere than the Rangers/Rays actual playoff series several weeks later. It was also a game that would remain embedded in Rays fans' memories because of Jeter's performance. Whether or not it was wrong one thing was certain: the Tampa Bay Rays were no joke, no fluke, no one-year wonder---this team is here to stay in the top tri-state rivalry in all sports.

To be continued...

This NFL season is making no sense whatsoever

See this:

We have the Dolphins winning only once at home, yet still be in the playoff hunt with a phenomenal 6-1 road record. We have the no-name offense Patriots nearly running toe to toe with the offensive numbers of their perfect season team years ago. And all the offense explosiveness happened after they got rid of Randy Moss. And they lost to the Browns. We have the Jets, who were just inches away from getting kicked out of the playoff race last year nearly on top of the division this year—only to lose to the Patriots and then lose to the Dolphins at home---while failing to score an offensive touchdown in either game. The Buffalo Bills have lost 3 overtime games---and could have had a 6-7 record if they had won them.



This NFL season is making no sense whatsoever.


Chad Ochocinco and Terrell Owens are playing together, and their team has a 2-11 record. Last year the Bengals clinched their division. Um..yea. The Steelers were without Big Ben for four games (after being with him all of last year) and are on top of their division this year. A hall of famer has been with three teams this year, and has given each team losing records when he exists in the organization. Just what does Randy Moss do wrong? The Cleveland Browns upset the Saints, Patriots, Dolphins, and nearly toppled the Jets. Anyone noticing the deadliness of their schedule? And then they lose to the Bills. The Colts were inches from perfection until the upper management decided not to pursue history by resting the starters. They are also the defending AFC champs. Now, they are behind the Jaguars.


This NFL season is making no sense whatsoever.

The Jaguars...


The Kansas City Chiefs were last in their division last year, only to turn things around unexpectedly and suddenly become one of the top teams of the AFC. The freakin’ Raiders: 4-0 in their division, yet third in their division. The Dallas Cowboys clinched their division last year, then lose nearly every game this year and lose their starting quarterback---only to improve as a team after Romo disappears and their longtime coach gets canned. The Vikings were one interception away from entering the Super Bowl, and are now one of the punchlines of the NFL, with Brett Farve looking like utter crap. Two years ago Michael Vick was in jail, and now he is an MVP candidate while marching his Eagles into one of the top spots of the NFL. At the same time, the Lions have the same record as the Broncos and the defending divisional champion Cardinals, while being just one game behind the Cowboys. To add to that, two of their losses came because of referee calls. The Lions could have been 5-8.


This NFL season is making no sense whatsoever.

The Lions could have been 5-8, did you hear me!?!??

The Redskins have a hall of fame candidate at quarterback, only to be placed third in their division. The stinkin’ Bears are leading their division with a questionable quarterback. The Saints were without Reggie Bush for a while, yet manage a great 10-3 record—only to be second in their own division. First place? The 11-2 Falcons, whom had only 9 wins all of last year. The Bucs went from worst to first in their division, only to fall back to third place…ahead of the Carolina Panthers, whom had a .500 record in 2009 and now have a record worse than the Browns and the Lions.

The Cardinals are 4-9....and are only two games behind the division leader…which apparently is a tie between the Seattle Seahawks and the San Francisco 49ers. The Rams were a league-worst 1-15 last year and this year has a good shot at the division crown.



And Tim Tebow STILL is not a starter.

Need I say more?

The Greatest Sports Matches of 2010

It has been a spectacular year for sports, honestly, it really has. Soccer was amazing, MLB was memorable, and even the NBA had a decent ending to their usually mediocre season. While the year is not over yet, I can nearly guarantee that we won’t find a game in December that can top the biggest sporting moments we’ve experienced in 2010. These are not ranked in any order, since it’s a mixture of sports and I prefer one sport/league/association over another. Here, we, go!

1) The One-Goaler


Game: United States vs. Algeria

FIFA World Cup 2010

This was the World Cup that would alter Americans’ view of the sport. The sport was already slowly rising in popularity with the MLS (must I reiterate, slowly) and with a new batch of young stars with a hunger to win the world of soccer would experience a sort of rejuvenation in the United States. ESPN’s coverage of this entire event was the channel at its 90s-quality best, before retired players and coaches sucked all the fun and intelligence of the coverage of ESPN televised events.

After a crazy opener against England, and a game that should have been won by the Americans, the US team needed a win here or they would have to go home. Their opponent was the quietly stubborn Algeria. What happened in this game was a full-on offensive attack from the United States that started from the 10-minute marker all the way to the end of the game. Playing in a desperation style, the United States played with more ferociousness than most soccer teams in the entire tournament. Despite the US owning the soccer ball most of the time, Algeria’s defense was relentless and would not give up. And then, when the United States looked like they were going home without even qualifying…….

Landon Donovan.

The goal that sent the United States into the quarterfinals.

It was a tense game with more close calls than St. Maarten on a busy afternoon. And it would also propel the popularity of United States soccer into new heights, with the help of ESPN, the high-speed internet society, word-of-mouth, and a newfound respect of the sport.

2) The Second Hand of God



Game: Uruguay vs. Ghana
FIFA World Cup 2010 Knockout Stage

Uruguay was cruising through the World Cup with ease. Ghana became the representative of the continent of Africa by being the lone remaining African squad in competition, having just beaten the United States in another close match. What happened next was some of the best soccer I’ve ever seen, and the sports match that was among the closest to giving me and the commentators a heart attack.

The game was tied after 90 minutes so it went into an extra period. There was already a flurry of attacks from both sides as it was a heavily offensive matchup. The game could have gone either way. Despite all the shots on goal, it took 45 minutes before the first goal, and after the tie, nobody scored again. And then came that final stinkin' minute in extra time before the potential penalty kicks.

Ghana went on a final rampage, which included three shots right at the goalie. While the first two were amazingly saved, the third shot was about to go in. The ball was over everyone's head. For that split second, everyone knew it. The players, the fans, the commentators, everyone. At the last moment, Luis Suarez did the ultimate sacrifice---he put his hand on the ball intentionally and illegally blocked it. Everyone saw it, including the refs of course. A crying Suarez was kicked out of the game while Ghana was setting up for the penalty kick and the goal that would finally send an African nation to the semifinals.

And then.....

In the oddest turn of events, the sure-fire winning goal never happened. All of Africa was crushed. Uruguay had a second breath of life. We still had the penalty kicks. But with that epic miss, everyone knew who was going to win.

This game had it all, dozens of close shots, plenty of controversy, amazing plays, amazing saves, and best of all, enough insanity and chaos to create an eventual motion picture. It will be one of the most talked about soccer games for years to come, and that is thanks to the second Hand of God---or whatever you want to call that handball play that rocked the world.

3) Ray Finkle II and III



Game: Boise State vs. Nevada

Boise State was making a strong push towards the championship after an impressive last year and defeating Virginia State in the opener. Of course the argument is, Boise State's schedule isn't as tough as most other schools like the SEC.....supposedly. However, with Alabama and Florida not being as impressive as they were last year, and with fewer and fewer schools going through the year undefeated, Boise State was extremely close of having a chance to fight in the big game. All they needed was two more wins, and one of the top 2 teams to lose.

Then came Nevada.

The rivalry between the two schools had already been intense before. But with Nevada hosting the opportunity to end Boise State's chances of doing something that no school west of Texas (excluding California..but they might as well be another country anyway) could ever do, they were more than ready. Boise State wasn't playing their best ball, but still kept pace against a spunky Nevada squad. They were exchanging leads multiple times throughout the close match. On the latter ends of the 4th quarter Nevada had tied the game with very little time left. And then with no hope in their soul, the Broncos throw a hail mary.

The result is one of the greatest college football plays in the last 20 years, and this is without a doubt, no exaggeration. The throw, the leap, the catch, and the instant calling of the timeout the moment he realized Boise had one more chance in them. And just like in the Ghana/Uruguay game, Boise State had the game. All they needed was a small field goal. Just one. 20 yarder.

Oops.

But at least there's overtime.

Oops again. Boise State had yet another chance to put away the game and continue their hopes for a championship bid. But after another missed field goal, Boise State lost all momentum, and you can see they felt defeated after their kicker let them down again. With that second miss, we all knew Nevada was going to win, we all knew Nevada was going to make their field goal.

Yep.

I always screamed that there should be a playoff in college football, so we can have these potentially epic matches like Boise State vs. Alabama, like Utah vs. Florida, etc. I strongly believe that the smaller schools all deserve some sort of chance to prove their worth and head towards the championship. But with Boise State's loss, for at least a couple of years we will not see another small school make such a strong push for the big show. And yes, TCU was ranked high, but they weren't that much of a threat.

4) Shootout at the Big Easy

Game: NFC Championship Game
Vikings vs. Saints

On one corner you have a football team that helped lift the spirits of a city utterly destroyed by a hurricane and poor planning in preparation for the storm. On the other hand you have an aging legend just begging for a final Super Bowl run before retirement---even though he should have done it years upon years ago. The Vikings suddenly became a force to be reckoned after signing Brett Farve and suddenly dominating its rather-easy schedule and surprisingly being one game away from the big show. But New Orleans was playing at home in front of an extremely hungry game. This match was going to be good.

Nearly 58 million people tuned in to this game, which reached instant classic status because it was a nail-biter from the first second to the very last (9 fumbles for crying out loud---6 by the Vikings). The momentum had shifted so many times, it became like a gruesome tennis volley with no end in sight. The Saints scored first, but then the Vikings scored twice. By halftime, the game was a tie. Third quarter, the game was tied.

Of course, then we enter the fourth quarter. The game was tied up, but the Vikings still had enough time for a run. Surely enough, Brett Farve was looking like his 90s self as he marched down the field with the Vikings. They were within field goal range but decided to try one more play. And of course, Brett Farve reacts incorrectly under playoff pressure. Here it is.

What could have been a game-winning field goal turned into an interception, even though Farve had the chance to take a knee or rush out of bounds to stop the clock. Many possibilities were present, but his gunslinging skills once again cost him a potential win. It was the most heartbreaking moment in Vikings history since this disaster. Or this one. Or this one.

So now in overtime the Saints won the coin toss, and held their destiny. After a close fourth down, they were in field goal range, and football history was in place. The field goal would lift them into the Super Bowl.

"It is good--ood--ooodddd!!!!"

The 40-yarder was good, giving us more evidence that the football Gods just don't like the Vikings..and that it was destiny bringing the Saints into the Super Bowl. Of course, just to add insult, we have the momentum suicidal Colts not deliver their best performance, allowing for the Saints to win it all. However, the Saints biggest test in their championship run was this phenomenal game, and Brett Farve's closest chance of getting another ring ended here with another mistake, another interception.


To Be Continued.....

P.S. Yes, that was Johnny Bravo

Other World Cup Host Potentials that can/shall/will piss off Americans

So apparently the World Cup peeps are just trying to anger the Americans. While I am not trying to bash Qatar, this location was an extremely left-field choice, and the economically smarter choice would have been the last superpower country that has not been overcome by soccer fever like virtually everywhere else. And I forgot to mention the brutal summers that this country experiences...imagine how the players must feel. Obama and the United States had been prepping for this potential hosting duty for a while now, with Florida approving high-speed rails left and right and a proposal to connect Orlando to Tampa and potentially Miami. Nonetheless, we had been snubbed, as we lost to a place the size of Connecticut and the popularity of Sunset 60 (extra points if you tell me what that is).

But hey, while we are on the subject of potentially picking out-of-left-field choices to upset Americans (the soccer federation’s excuse is that they want to pick adventurous locations for their World Cups…so how do you explain the Germany and Japan decisions of previous World Cups?), I have assembled a list of other locations the World Cup can take place is that will not only not be in America (grammar rules it does!) , but will take place in locations that will piss off the few American fans that actually exist. These aren’t just places to play, these are places to play and make America very angry.

The original logical choice would be Canada. Why not give the 2026 hosting duties to Canada? Then have some games right on the border of the United States, just to piss them off a bit more.

Last but not least, have Montreal host a few games, as payback for what happened to the Expos back in 1994 (After two decades of disappointment, we build a potential dynasty and you moth#*&$*##*$&(*@s couldn’t agree on a few millions!?!?) Canada would also work fine because unlike Qatar, Canada isn’t a brutal hellhole (in terms of playing sports) in the summertime. Celine Dion can sing the official song, and then the French cycling team can carry around the game ball. Spite is beautiful.

Hosting the World Cup in Iraq would be near-suicide, but downright mean (and for the cynics, hilarious). They can definitely lift the spirits of the country and the economy (honestly, Iraq could use a booster like the World Cup to start a new era in the world), but the sheer idea of spending money to send MORE people into Iraq (this time instead to play ball) would be the ultimate kick in the pants—and a nice blend of irony and cruelty. That’s just what you get for hosting a pointless war in a pointless time without an actual point or an actual goal in mind. Now, this time, you can head to Iraq with an actual goal in mind…to win. By the way, hosting the World Cup in Iraq would permanently make the Americans the “road team.” I would say Afghanistan; but that war already ended….wait…there are still soldiers there? Shame on me for mixing sports and politics.............

Greenland would be the “Oh come on, what the @()&$(**@()$” choice of the millennium. Not only does it have just a mere 56,000 people, but it also cannot even grow enough grass to sustain a soccer field. Nonetheless, it still has soccer as the official sport. So the pick here would be logical, and another way to truly anger Americans by giving the spot to a place in North America, but NOT America. Greenland can definitely give it a shot, as their slogan can be “Not America.” That just might work.

Why not Cuba? Better yet, give it to the Caribbean west of Puerto Rico. This time, some games can be held 80 miles south of Key West, and the rest of the games can be played in nations that prefer baseball. I wonder what would happen if the World Cup Federation just handed the selection to the Dominican Republic and the West Indies without them even trying.

Antarctica. We already picked one extreme (heat) so why not aim for the other? Antarctica’s economy is virtually non-existent, but there are plenty of people there (a few thousand—mostly researchers that probably don’t even know Spain are defending champs) that would love to see a soccer game in their backyard. This can bring tourists over from all over the world; this can introduce them to a world they know nothing about. Imagine an opportunity to watch soccer by day, and then hang out with penguins after it’s all done. Then we can show them the supposed effects of global warming. It can be fun, freezing, educational, very unique, and best of all, a slap in the face to the American soccer peeps. I can see it now: “We lost to ANTARTICA?!?!?! #)(&#)(@#mother()*@*#))#, they don’t even have a capital city!!!! Do they even have a city?!!?!? M&#(*))()(((**!!!!”

Many other potential candidates exist: Poland (Years ago, John Kerry forgot about Poland, now the country has revenge), Ghana (they seem to beat the Americans all the time in soccer, might as well beat them in hosting too), the Cook Islands ($10 if you know where that is without looking at a map), Tristan da Cunha ($100 if you know where that is without looking at a map), and lastly:

The Moon. I am pretty sure when every other country has been represented and the World Cup Federation ran out of options besides America (assuming America apparently still makes the world grumpy in 2058), the moon will be next. This would be the final, final punch, the final jab, the final slap, and the final insult to American soccer fans.

Wait, one more:

Moon. On French soil.

Boy am I bored.

The Great United States Citizen Bailout

So we still owe money. Lots of it. The country is facing a nasty debt that seems to have no end. Now, more than ever, the Obama clan has to come up with a crazy plan to turn things around in the remaining two years otherwise the Republicans will definitely have the upper hand when the next elections arrive. While Obama should not be fully to blame for the downfall of our economy, he hasn’t exactly brought anything to the table to help us out. We are still funding a war overseas that should have been over years ago, we are still sticking our noses elsewhere around the world before fixing our problems, and lastly that unfortunate health care bill just created more enemies than friends in the White House. But you know what I think? Its time for a bailout…but not of a company, but of people.

Think about it: Obama steps up to the podium and announces that the government paid all the credit card companies a set amount to cover their losses, but is being done for the greater good. Every legal United States citizen can wake up in the morning, without owing a single credit card company anything. As long as you don’t owe credit card companies a total of over $10,000 (which would mean you just went insane and probably should be leaning towards bankruptcy) all your debt has been eliminated. Everyone in terms of credit (not including car/house/college/big stuff loans) starts off at 0…all over again, almost like a new beginning. How awesome would that be?



Now why bailout all the fat cats in the big-arse companies in the auto and banking industries when the true backbone of America is the people? Don’t the people deserve a break after going through the toughest decade since the Great Depression? I am not saying we ALL are suffering, and I am also not saying that some of this mayhem isn’t our fault, but there are a lot of innocents suffering setbacks in these darker times. Now how great would it be to start 2011 with an opportunity to spend again, to save money again, to financially breathe a little easier. All this nation really needs is a small glimmer of hope, some light at the end of the tunnel, and this would definitely provide it.While this won't destroy all that we owe, it would definitely help a lot as we fight to keep our homes and possessions.

I can see the opponents to this radical idea. Of course, the credit card companies would hate this, and I’m sure some people would find fault in eliminating debt to everyone. Of course, there has to be limits, and this is where most will disagree. I think you must be a legal citizen, must not have any major felonies in recent years, must not be making over 500,000 a year, and you must be a Rays fan (kidding about one of these...). Meet those priorities, and you are all set. That vacation you wanted to take? Now you can start saving and hoping. All the debt that piled up while you were unemployed? It’s gone. And I think this bailout would lead to a happier nation, and one willing to spend again, willing to ramble on like in the 90s when Clinton was running the show.

Anybody else see this as a good idea? Anybody else see any potential major setbacks that I just don’t see? One argued that we will just be irresponsible again, but I say most of America deserves a second chance, and this crazy radical bailout could be the key. Anyone with me? Am I alone in this? Did anyone catch the Hot Fuzz reference?