Where Did All The Epic Music Go?

Remember back in the 70s and 80s, when a slew of epic bands would release epic songs that lasted beyond your normal radio-song running time and would include amazing guitar solos, amazing breakdowns, amazing assortments of notes, and a usually-grand finale? Whatever happened to our “Stairway to Heaven”s, “Free Bird”s, “Bohemian Rhapsody”s, “Master of Puppets”, “Working Man”s, “Hotel California”s, and “Run to the Hills”? Where are the epic bands and songs of today?



One thing sorely lacking in the music department nowadays is your typical assortment of fantastically long songs that drag (in loving fashion) as they skip from one rhythm to the next without any issues. Songs I personally (and everyone else should) consider epic include songs that are longer than 5 minutes (there are exceptions—but they better accomplish a lot in their shorter timeframe) and showcase the mastery and total range in terms of the guitars (with the guitar solos being the best way to do such a thing), the bass, the rhythms, other supporting instruments (synthesizers, cowbells, etc.) the lyrics, the chemistry amongst the elements, and the range of vocals from those involved. All this must mesh together to give the song a larger-than-life personality. And finally, they must stand the test of time, as they become played over the radio years/decades since its release and still sound awesome—and then receive a slew of inferior covers from inferior bands.

This previous decade however has very, very few guitar solos and songs we can consider “epic,” and most of them come from bands that formed back in the 80s. How can they pass the torch to the next big band if there has been no big band to continue the tradition? Surely there have been some bands that have given it a short, but the end result was dismally miserable. Apparently the closest thing to anything Queen-like (according to critics) was My Chemical Romance’s Welcome to the Black Parade----and that’s an audible disaster. Where are you next epic band? Where have you gone to? Is it that bands are afraid or too lazy to go the extra mile?



We have many bands that have the potential of cranking out that amazing masterful song that will stand the test of time. And some have the talent to pull it off more than once (like Led, Queen, Metallica, Iron Maiden, Pantera, etc.) Avenged Sevenfold has the instrumental technicalities down pat, all that’s left is better vocals and a tired-and-true attempt. Bat Country after all was among the best guitar solos of the last decade, as it resembles a mix of new-school with some Iron Maiden-like flavor. Rodrigo y Gabriela is the most skillful guitar duo out there, with Diablo Rojo being the best usage of guitar within the last 15 years. Yet, with insufficient percussion and no vocals, it’s going to be harder for them to pull off the next Free Bird. They are still awesome though.



Then there was System of a Down, which had the amazing Toxicity album back in 2001. They definitely have the cards that can create a full house of epic, but deal their hands much too quickly. Chop Suey for example, was amazing, but short. Same goes with Toxicity. With a shorter timeframe, it’s tougher to give the song a wider range and bring the crowd to its knees, demanding respect. Then, there’s always the questionable lyrics…what the heck are these song about anyway?



The last band to truly, truly, truly give it their all to stage epicness is Tool. Tool’s complicated sounds create some very innovative, unique, interesting, and sometimes-incredible music. Aenema, Schism, The Pot, Vicarious are superb songs that definitely do match up with most of the guidelines for becoming a truly epic song—except they still barely miss the mark. Tool’s innovative ways create some good music, but none of it can be imitated, none of it can actually age. Tool’s music hits its mark, creates ripples in the ocean of music, but that’s about it. One doesn’t really pull out a lighter (or a cell phone) when the song is being blasted somewhere, the replayability just isn’t quite there. It just isn’t epic. But so close. If there is a band that can create that one epic masterpiece, it would be Tool. Yes, “epic” is going to be used a lot in this measly article, deal with it.

As for everyone else out there, they’ve “advanced” beyond the guitar solo and focused purely on skill and coming up with a memorable riff/beat. Not a single metal or hard rock song nowadays contain a guitar solo that lasts beyond 35 seconds. Remember Metallica in the 80s and Master of Puppets, One, Am I Evil? Now THERE are some solos that you wished would never end. And unlike most of the feeble attempts in the last 15 years, there is heavy substance between the introduction and the guitar solos, and the ending.

There are three underratedly (not a word, stop spell-checking) important aspects to creating the perfect, epic song that will last forever: the introduction, the lyrics, and the grand finale. The introduction shouldn’t just start the song off quickly; you have to gradually let it build. Key examples: Stairway to Heaven, Bohemian Rhapsody, Master of Puppets, Cowboys From Hell, Run to the Hills, Free Bird (the best one of the bunch), I Ran (didn't see that one coming, right?) and even to an extent, Pearl Jam’s “Alive.” All of these songs didn’t start right off running; they were just a sneak preview of what was to come about. Master of Puppets did sound like it started fast, but when you hear the rest of the song; the introduction is extremely slow in comparison. Is there a single song within the past couple of years with a very memorable introduction that will instantly remind the listener just what he/she/it is listening to? Name one, go ahead. The last song with a truly grand opening to a grand song was: System of a Down’s Toxicity.

Lyrics are vital to an epic song, it is what gives the song its personality and gives the music the reason to sound like the way it does. Dragonforce is a grand example of excellent guitar work being marred by pathetic lyrics (and even more pathetic vocals, but that’s another story). You can’t sing about heartbreak and love every single time for crying out loud, can we please change it a bit? System of a Down was becoming a bit too political, which hampers any chance of epic. As for the other bands, let’s just say lyrics have not been their focus when making music. There has yet to be a band to attempt to match the lyrical bizarreness of Kurt Cobain.



Sometimes ambiguous lyrics enhance the aura of a song: Stairway to Heaven, Bohemian Rhapsody, In the Air Tonight (Yes, I went there), Hotel California are good examples. Then there are heavier lyrics that make the song itself heavier. Master of Puppets is about drugs and absolutely losing control, Cowboys From Hell is about a band coming into town and taking over, whether you like it or not. Run to the Hills is about the Indians being run out of town by the White Man. Iron Man is a very ironic song about a man trying to prevent the world from being ruined, and Highway Star and Slow Ride are songs about driving, the open road, and hauling arse to the absolute limit. Memorable music contains memorable lyrics.



You must finish strongly, and very few songs (and methods of entertainment in life) accomplish this. Sometimes the ending can make up for anything slow or weaker in the previous couple of minutes. Very few songs finish in extremely strong fashion. The tracks that stand the tallest happen to end in the best way. Remember Bohemian Rhapsody’s final piano notes and Mercury cooing the final words? Of course. Remember Highway Star’s thrashingly and blazingly fun finale? Of course. Remember Free Bird’s final guitar solo that never seems to end? Remember Master of Puppets’ cynical laughter as you’ve lost complete control? This is the music that continues to be played and adored, decades since its inception. Name a single song within the last 10 years that can finish as strong as the songs I’ve mentioned. The closest is Tool’s The Pot.

The bottom line is, the epic music is becoming harder and harder to find within the filth. Back then, bands were competing against each other to create the perfect music. Led Zeppelin was (sort of sort of) going up against Elvis. Megadeth was going up against Metallica. Whether it’s the laziness of the bands today, or because this modern-day ADD society doesn’t allow for such long songs to be crafted, it has been a while since we’ve had a truly epic song move fans of hard rock and metal. It is honestly hard to come up with the last time we had a flawless and age-resistant epic song---although surely there must have been something after Everlong by the Foo Fighters; I just can’t think of anything......

There must be a band out there that can prove me wrong. Is there anybody out there? I am challenging all of you musicians to come out and fight my claim. I want you to come out and bring out the best music you can come up with. Don’t just play fast because you know how to, also deliver understandable lyrics and strong vocals. In the 80s the thrash bands played fast because they were protesting glam rock. Don’t just play in distorted fashion to sound cool, give some meaning behind your music. Nirvana played in a dirty and messy manner because they too were protesting the glam-happy and clean-cut music of the 80s and early 90s. We need more complex guitar riffs, more flawlessly long guitar solos, more dramatic breakdowns that engage the audience in a collective headbang of the century, and more vocals that test the limits of your ears and the Richter scale.

Where are all you epic bands? Hiding? Not existing? Oh, you do exist? Well come out of hiding and bring it on, give all you’ve got. Until then, epic music is just a wonderful thing stuck in the past.

This is an Article about Pantera

Back in the late 80s, a band that had been around for quite some time went through a drastic change, and ultimately changed the world of metal music. Joining in the Iron Maiden, Metallica, Slayer brigade, Pantera became one of the cornerstones of heavy metal, and provided some of the heaviest guitar riffs and overall works of rock of all-time. In the early 90s, they virtually conquered the metal world while grunge was taking over the pop scene. To this day, there has yet to be a band that can quite matchup to the powerhouse music of Pantera. Their blend of heavy vocals with insane drumming, excellent bass work, and some of the best guitar tunes this side of the planet resulted in years of spectacular music that can heal any wound, can anger any soul, and can unleash any rage in your heart.

Now, this article is dedicated to a great band whose influence isn’t felt enough—because if it did, then we wouldn’t have so many whiny metal bands out there today. What we see today are these singers whining their lungs out with distorted guitar work lacking rhythm or any form of quality. Back then, you waited for the epic guitar solo. Nowdays, the shorter less –satisfying “breakdowns” are what’s taking over the metal scene. Pantera would be absolutely ashamed if they saw what’s going on today. Then after the shame proceed to go the bands and beat them up. Very few times can you hear someone sing and know he can kick your arse, but Mr. Phil Anselmo sounded like someone that can rip your throat out in a heartbeat. I have compiled a list of their best music, the songs you must listen to if you are ever in the mood to hear some intense metal. Word of warning, this music isn’t for those with weak constitutions, as it is metal at its finest, but also its most intense.

#10: Mouth For War
Album: Vulgar Display of Power
Combining great vocals with a great guitar riff and a good closing, Mouth For War is a fantastic opening song in the fantastic Vulgar Display of Power album. While its definitely more commercial-friendly as the other songs on this list, it doesn’t make it less hardcore for the metalheads.


#9: #(*&&*@$ Hostile
Album: Vulgar Display of Power
The title alone should tell you this is an intense song. The song gives you only a few seconds to prepare for the headbanging, and once the anger unleashes it won’t let go until the finale, when Anselmo gives an impressive yet sinister scream at the microphone after the guitars and drums quieted down. Between the beginning and the loud ending we have a great guitar solo, fast drums, and lyrics that convince you to start mosh pitting---no matter where you are.


#8: 5 Minutes Alone
Album: Far Beyond Driven
The lyrics are much harder to come by in this song, but that’s because the guitar riff is so loud and produced in such a distorted way. Coming off as an extreme grunge song in its sound, 5 Minutes Alone is what would have happened if Nirvana was really, really, really pissed off. And let’s please not forget the incredible guitar solo by Dimebag and the deathly howls of Anselmo.


#7: Domination
Album: Cowboys From Hell
Remember those God-awful breakdowns I was talking about that are conquering the music scene today? Well, these breakdowns usually last a mere 35-55 seconds. In Domination, the entire song slows down nearly to a halt (after another grand guitar solo) and literally ends in a massive breakdown that lasts the final minute and 15 seconds. Mixing in with the rhytmatic breakdown is insane guitars and superb drumming. Not a single band has even come close to matching the powerful breakdown unleashed in this great song.


#6: I’m Broken
Album: Far Beyond Driven
This is one of the greatest guitar riffs in the history of music. This is the guitar riff that launched Dimebag into mainstream fame as it even charted highly in the U.K. charts. The song never develops or deviates far from the riff, but it’s so catchy and so headbang-worthy, there’s no need to. The guitar solo was short, the vocals were reduced to a lot of howls, but it’s that riff that keeps you coming back for more.


#5: Floods
Album: The Great Southern Treadkill

There are certain songs made by bands in which one person in the band totally owns the song, totally makes it his own. YYZ belongs to the bassist of Rush. In Bloom belongs to Kurt Cobain. Reggata de Blanc belongs to the guitarist of Sting. Floods totally belongs to Dimebag. The riff is simple yet engaging. The guitar solo in the center of the song was nearly flawless. And then the outro solo was even more spectacular. Nobody else in the band really had to contribute much, and the result was still incredible. If there is any reason to listen, it’s to hear the guitar work that very seldom is duplicated in quality.


#4: Cemetery Gates
Album: Cowboys From Hell

My mom years ago once pointed out that most hard rock and heavy metal bands have fantastic singers that whenever they are not abusing the microphone with their yells, can crank out some beautiful and harmonious vocals. Cemetery Gates is this example. Much softer than Pantera’s usual fare, this song is a depressing melody about death and losing someone, and the vocals prove that it hits a personal nerve amongst everyone performing. The singing was fantastic, the drumming was superb, the guitar work was amazing (as usual), and the entire cast just delivered an epic power ballad that deserves more fame.


#3: This Love
Album: Vulgar Display of Power

The first time I heard this song, it was played on a rock station for Valentine’s Day. I was instantly hooked, and it was the first song I ever heard from this band. This Love is spectacular in nearly every possible way, combining angry vocals with angry bass, angry drumming, and among the angriest guitars you’ll ever hear. The song has two fantastic breakdowns (making me nearly a hypocrite) but is branched together by a grand guitar solo and Anselmo sounding his most heartbroken. If you are single, this is easily the best song to play during the Hallmark holiday. It is also one of the best love songs of all time, as you can feel the hurt, feel the pain, and feel the hate.


#2: Cowboys From Hell
Album: Cowboys From Hell

This is where the band changed its glam rock ways and became the band we all know and love. Starting with a sinister riff, and then unleashing an even better riff, Cowboys From Hell is one of the best introduction songs by any band at any given moment. Just like what “Killing in the Name Of” did to Rage Against the Machine, this song ushered a new sound, and displayed just what type of music you’ll be hearing from the band for years and years to come. Let’s not forget the slick guitar solo, great vocal-howling work and the fantastic overall production. This is one of the greatest metal songs of all-time, and there is no arguing this. Ever.


#1: Walk
Album: Vulgar Display of Power


The riff. The guitar solo. The drums. The bass. The lyrics. The vocals. The outro. It is all perfect, all of it. One of the few metal tracks I can deem absolutely flawless, Pantera’s “Walk” is not their heaviest sound, but it’s their best sound by far. Try listening to this and not headbang, or not become motivated to do something. This song is perfect for concerts, perfect for sporting events, perfect for metal preparation (Freudian slip, for the win!).

Dimebag provides us with an excellent distorted riff that clearly matches the grunge, hard rock, and metal scene all at the same time. It’s soft enough to reach the mainstream without killing any ears, but it’s hardcore enough to remind you that they are a band that can still destroy you. This song certifies Pantera as one of the great metal bands in history, and certifies Vulgar Display of Power as one of the greatest metal albums in the history of music. You can’t even name 5 metal albums released after 1992 that can match up to the quality of this band. Not possible.



Bottom Line: This article is about celebrating a great metal band that is leagues better than the current metal and hard rock scene. This article is trying to make you a fan of this underrated band. The southern style metal is intense, but not to a point of complete distortion and jumbled screaming. They howl, scream and snarl but unlike the music of today, you can still understand why. There are fast guitarists nowadays, but it is all skill and no substance. With Dimebag, you know why the notes played need to be played. I have been begging for a change in modern-day metal for years, and the only decently-known artist actually influenced by Pantera is the Spanish guitar-playing duo Rodrigo y Gabriela.


This must change.




Now.


Despite all this, I hope you enjoyed my selection of the best songs from a great band. Rest in Peace, Dimebag, you are still missed.

Classiccal Modernistc Bliss: a 10/10 Rodrigo y Gabriela review

Whenever a concert mixes flawless frantic classical guitar with the technicalities of metal, Metallica riffs, and an ode to Pantera, a reference to Spinal Tap, and a talented Mexican woman telling everyone that they can “dance naked,” you can pretty much guarantee it’s a hell of a time. Rodrigo y Gabriela quite literally blew away the entire crowd at House of Blues on Saint Patrick’s Day as they delivered the best live performances I have ever seen, some of the craziest guitar work within the last two decades, and just an overpowering presence that stunned the crowd from the first second to the encore---which then lasted another 10 spine-tingling minutes. House of Blues didn’t stand a chance against this powerhouse duo as they impressed everyone, from the newcomers, to the people that were already fans.

Before ranting happiness towards the concert, a little background. As anyone who reads my reviews and blogs (the two of you) you know that I personally think that Rodrigo and Gabriela are among the most talented musicians in the business today. They had two of among the better albums in the 2000s (11:11 and their self-titled album) and the best song of the last decade, which was the incredible Diablo Rojo. Last year, this was my comment about the song:
“In this song, you have two guitars dueling, working together, becoming temporary drums, progressing the song from one stage to the next, and engaging in one of the most epic finales in any song you’ll ever hear. The song doesn’t need lyrics, all it needs is a title and the guitars work out the lyrics through their melodies, riffs, changes, and dramatic chords. The song is about a roller coaster, and the song plays like a wild and fun coaster. Rodrigo y Gabriela has the attitude of Santana, the experience of metal, the culture of Paco De Lucia, and the skills of the best classical artists. The songs themselves are a perfect mix of classical guitar, acoustic metal, and Spanish flair.”

Despite the utmost praise I’ve given the duo within the last several years; their fame has to reach the level they deserve. They had trouble finding success in Mexico and were not content with the music scene so they moved to Ireland and started building a fanbase there. An MTV special, a few successful television appearances later, their popularity in North America is beginning to grow. With their 11:11 album still charting around in Billboard, they started a U.S. tour to promote the album. In Florida, they planned on hitting Miami and Disneyland—er, I mean Orlando.

Back to the concert. Before the epic duo played their music, it was started by a much lesser-known group known as the Alex Skolnick Trio. Despite some good instrumental performances (including a jazzy version of a Kiss song) the audience was rather unruly towards the back and was antsy about seeing the duo. One hour after the concert officially started, Rodrigo y Gabriela showed up on stage. Without uttering a single word, they started playing. The amount of energy in the House of Blues pretty much multiplied infinitely. By 10:00, that energy had not dissipated in the least bit.

Rodrigo played with plenty of expert skill, flair, and energy. His guitar work is some of the best you’ll ever see, and when he busts out his Les Paul at one random moment, his metal roots are easily revealed. This duo is honestly a metal artist at heart, but is disguised behind classical guitar. But, the one driving the show with her energy, her movements, her sense of humor, and easily the best guitar playing I’ve ever seen from any female artist out there is Gabriela. From the first moment to the last, she was running around, she was playing relentlessly, she was slamming her fingers against the guitars with such force, and the clapping of the audience couldn’t keep up. The cameramen couldn’t keep up. Not even the lightning could quite match and maintain the pacing of the incredible music happening on stage. There are only two guitars simply because that is all these two need.

Their musical selection was a mixture of their latest album, with some older classics, and some jam sessions with the other band that was performing. The best part of these two is that they will play the familiar tunes perfectly, but they also add a bit of variation to each song. You’ve heard it in the albums, but when you hear it live, it’s a different sound, it’s a different hook, runs on a different tempo, but ultimately delivers the same smile on your face. Their rendition of Diablo Rojo had the entire audience cheering, hollering; but we still could not manage to keep up with the clicks, smacks, strums and whatever other guitar technique you could possibly imagine. The House of Blues didn’t contribute much visually with the exception of a curtain that displayed some images or closer shots of the duo performing.

No two songs from the incredible duo sound the same. The entire 11:11 album was different variations and tributes to different musical artists over the years. Rodrigo y Gabriela usually played some heavy, fast, skillful, and entertaining rhythms, but did manage to sneak in some quieter, calmer, melancholy tunes that catch the audience off-guard. The power ballad-like guitar work never lasted too long, with them jamming to a crazy song shortly after the lights dim and the speed stalls. Every song was amazing, every moment was impressive.

The best part of this concert was after they were done and left the stage, and the entire audience just desired so much more. To get their attention, the entire audience managed to break-out in a harmonious soccer chant (the famous “Ole Ole” one). All of House of Blues for a minute turned into a soccer match with the chanting. Gabriela comes out and starts jumping and chanting it with the audience. With this, Rodrigo follows, they bust out more songs to play (amazingly by the way—with some of them unrehearsed), and they ultimately last so much longer than the original anticipation the curtain in the background actually went down towards the end, revealing the House of Blues logo instead of their album logo. Let’s just say their big finale, was quite, quite big. As they strummed dozens of notes a second, the first several rows of the audience in the middle joined together in collective jumping and headbanging. It is not often to see a musical artist return back after the original grand finale and manage to deliver even more music without skipping a beat.

Bottom Line: This was worth every single penny, no question about it, no doubt about it. Rodrigo y Gabriela are currently among the best artists in music today, and their incredible concert (which more amazingly was done nearly at the end of their tour) is just more evidence for the cause. If you want excellent instrumental work, I shall repeat it again: Rodrigo y Gabriella is the answer, the solution, and the destination for quality. Rodrigo y Gabriela plays like they were put in this earth to do so. They look like they are having a blast up on stage. It had been my goal to introduce them into the lives of all whom I still keep in touch with, and the struggle continues. It is sometimes sad because I wanted to claim my happiness towards watching them play so closely, but nobody at my department even know them. And the next time they roll around in Central Florida, I shall be there waiting for them, and hopefully with more fans.

Grade: A+

The Greatest Video Game Soundtracks of All-Time (Part 2)

This is a continuation of the last article regarding the best musical soundtracks in the history of video games. Now, we are approaching the Top 10, with a few surprises here and there, expected faces, and a #1 game that most people couldn't possibly predict. Why? Because most people had not played the game when it first came out---which is a shame considering its one of my choices as the among the best 25 overall games in history. Without any more interruption, here is the Top 10:



#10: Chrono Cross
Bottom Line: While Trigger remains the best in the franchise, Cross contains the best music ever released by the talented composers in Square Enix. Yasunori Mitsuda delivers the soundtrack of his life as the game’s epic and massive feel is complimented by all the standout tracks contained throughout the quest. The opening song alone is one of the best pieces of music for any video game.
Standout Track: Scars of Time



#9: Super Smash Brothers Brawl
Bottom Line: What GTA IV did with mainstream music, Brawl did with Nintendo music---amped up the quantity to unfathomable heights. With themes from nearly every major Nintendo franchise big and small, and then containing music from Sega and Metal Gear, Smash Brothers Brawl was the definite proof that Nintendo went all-out in the third installment of the most successful fighting franchise in history.
Standout Track: Battle at the Base


P.S. Honorable mention: the first two Smash games also had incredible music, with the original having the best introduction by far.



#8: Grand Theft Auto: Vice City
Bottom Line: The music here defined the game, and also introduced a new era of gamers to an older era of music. However, it wasn’t the popular music you knew, instead there was a slew of quieter yet superior music that Rockstar managed to recover, providing gamers with all the Miami Vice thrills you could ever want.
Standout Track: “I Ran” by A Flock of Seagulls

P.S. I don't care what anyone says, this is still the best Grand Theft Auto game in the franchise. There is no topping the 80s vibe and slick style.




#7: Guitar Hero III
Bottom Line: Of all the music-based video games out there, part 3 had the standout music, and if it weren’t for the fact that a good portion of them were covers, it would have easily been a Top 3 contender. Nonetheless, from the addicting “Barracuda” to the insanely tough Dragonforce song, to the epic metal “Reign in Blood,” rock fans had no other choice but to praise the selection of music here.
Standout Track: One by Metallica



#6: Super Mario Galaxy
Bottom Line: Responding to criticism of no orchestration in Twilight Princess, Koji Kondo provided us with an epic soundtrack for a Mario game, which was unheard of up to this point. Every song was engaging, moving, and almost Disney Renaissance-like. This was the ultimate proof that Mario was maturing for a new generation, and that Kondo was far from being past his best days.
Standout Track: Battlerock Galaxy



#5: DJ Hero
Bottom Line: Heh, you were wondering how far this soundtrack was going to go, eh? Very few modern-day soundtracks, whether it be from movies, television or games, were as completely amazing as this modern-day masterpiece. All the mixes were incredibly done, incredibly addicting, and remain a hoot to play even after 747275782th time. And this is from a critic who usually doesn’t even like dance or techno music. That says a lot.
Standout Track: Groundhog by the Scratch Perverts



#4: The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time
Bottom Line: One of the greatest games of all-time also had one of the greatest soundtracks of all-time. Who could forget the creepy Fire Temple, the creepier Forest Temple, the beautiful ending song, and the wide assortment of sweeping music in between? The soundtrack matched the overall quality of the game: E.p.i.c.
Standout Track: Fire Temple (The original version)
P.S. Of all the franchises out there, Zelda is the one with the best music. There's Majora's Mask, Link's Awakening, the original, Twilight Princess, and....................






#3: The Legend of Zelda: A Link to the Past
Bottom Line: This came out at a time when music wasn’t a strong factor in the gameplay. Before Link to the Past, games usually consisted of several addicting tunes and a few harmless melodies. This game changed all the rules by providing a stellar cast of songs that not only were very different from one another, but also altered the mood and pacing of the game. The two worlds contained very different styles of music, further alienating any potential similarity between the two dimensions. Link to the Past has it all, music that sounds like it came from Mozart, and music that can match the battling in Lord of the Rings. Koji Kondo is the best composer in the world of video games, and this was his tour-de-force work of art that (to this day) shines the brightest.
Standout Track: Hyrule Castle





#2: Super Metroid
Bottom Line: Flawless. That’s right, absolutely flawless. The game’s music captured, harnessed, and expanded the tension and suspense of the already-groundbreaking masterpiece. Kenyi Yamamoto, a highly underrated composer in the world of video games, provided Nintendo with updated and superior versions of all of themes in the original Metroid, and added a variety of new ones that remain in the remixing stages to any compilation games Nintendo releases (Brawl being the latest example). The best part is how the music never overpowers the sound effects, yet still leaves a lasting effect long after you turn off the system. Very few gaming soundtracks intertwine with the gameplay and tone of the game so sinisterly, but Super Metroid is successful from the first second to the very last.
Standout Track: Samus Aran: Galactic Warrior








#1: Super Mario RPG: Legend of the Seven Stars
Bottom Line: One of the greatest combinations in the history of gaming, Nintendo and Square Soft worked together to provide one of the best RPGs ever. But, it wasn’t just the game designers that worked together. Yoko Shimomura (contrary to popular belief) composed the soundtrack to absolute perfection, but with the help of Koji Kondo (mostly) and Nobuo Uematsu (loosely, the Culex music). With the three excellent composing minds at hand, we had masterpiece music like the title track, Nimbus Land, and the hilarious Sad Song, and much much more. Shimomura is the best female composer in the world of gaming, with this, Street Fighter II, and Kingdom Hearts in her repertoire. But, none of those compare to the majesty that is the music of Super Mario RPG.

Honestly, I have nothing more to say, Super Mario RPG’s soundtrack remains the best I’ve ever listened to, and I am sure most people that have played the game relentlessly can agree. In terms of music, you quite literally have it all; the upbeat, the downbeat, the trippy, the sentimental, the sinister, the scary, and sometimes the downright sophisticated. It is a total shame that Square and Nintendo didn’t work together in this magnitude ever again, one can only ponder what the world of gaming (and gaming music) would be like if Nintendo had switched to CDs in the N64 era. In the meantime, Youtube the soundtrack and enjoy.


Standout Tracks:
Title Theme
The End
Map Selection
Happy Parade
Nimbus Land
Booster Tower
Battle Music
Boss Music
Mini-Boss Music
Star Road
Culex Battle Theme
Sunken Ship
Forest Maze
Marrymore
Seaside Town
Mushroom Kingdom
Mushroom Way



So there you have it, the best soundtracks in gaming I have ever listened to. I hope this listing of games opened up your world to new spectacular music that will soon be in your IPod within the next week or so. Otherwise, well, I tried. I know there are some other grand soundtracks left out (Kingdom Hearts, Halo, Metal Gear Solid, Mortal Kombat) but hey, only 30 slots were open, and I thought they were filled up by games that truly deserved it (even if there are sequels here and there). Disagree? Speak your voice. Maybe by then you can convince me that my list needs a revision.

The Greatest Video Game Soundtracks of All-Time

So after around a month of owning and playing DJ Hero, I have come to the conclusion that not only is it a good game, but its also one of the greatest soundtracks in the history of video games. One aspect of gaming that’s highly underrated is the music. There are many excellent games with excellent music, but note that there are very few awful video games with a great soundtrack. This doesn’t happen with movies, when there are crappy movies with epic soundtracks. So, you game makers, if you want to make a memorable gaming experience, go for the nine yards and include some stellar music.

This article is now dedicated to the video games with the best soundtracks you’ll ever hear. The music ranges a variety of genres, a variety of gaming generations, and some of the soundtracks are music you’ve never heard before. Some make this list more for the technical achievements rather than the quality of the music itself—but that doesn’t mean the music was bad either. Remember, this isn’t a list of the best games ever played, but the best music ever placed in a game.


Let’s start with the Honorable Mentions, games that just missed the cut but deserve a little bit of attention:
1) Super Mario Bros.: One would wonder how much of a classic this game would have been if it didn’t have Koji Kondo providing the infectious beats that to this day we can hum in our sleep
2) Yoshi’s Story: The best soundtrack to come from a very mediocre game
3) Modern Warfare 2: With Hans Zimmer backing the score, video games are suddenly attracting professional movie composers. Will John Williams or Danny Elfman construct a score for a game in the coming years?
4) Final Fantasy VI: Opera. Nuff’ said.
a. P.S. This is still the best Final Fantasy.


#30: Fallout 3
Bottom Line: The 50s is back. The music here brings you back to a delightfully scary era when superpower nations were inches away from ending the world as we know it.



#29: Plok
Bottom Line: This unknown soundtrack was cleverly composed by not using all the possible audio channels in the gaming chip, leading the sound effects never getting in the way of the rock-influenced tunes.



#28: Earthbound
Bottom Line: This classic game has one of the most unique, varied, and trippy soundtracks of all-time. And for such variety to be placed in a game back in the early 90s was quite an achievement. Where on earth is that sequel anyway?



#27: Wipeout
Bottom Line: One of the early reasons for the Playstation beating up the N64 back in the day was because of its cutting-edge image and ability to appeal to the older kids. With a soundtrack featuring the Chemical Brothers, the Prodigy, and New Order, its hard to argue the previous statement.



#26: Tetris (Game Boy Version)
Bottom Line: The song is playing in your head because you still remember it. That or its been stuck on your head for the last several years. 3 classic songs. One classic game.



#25: Goldeneye
Bottom Line: Unlike every single other James Bond video game in the history of mankind, the game (and soundtrack itself) made you feel like you were part of the James Bond adventure.
P.S. Its still one of the best shooters ever, but don’t tell the Halo fans that…



#24: Golden Sun
Bottom Line: Incredible proof that not all amazing soundtracks come from console games, sometimes the good ol’ Game Boy can crank out some memorable tunes



#23: Gran Turismo 3
Bottom Line: While Wipeout introduced the mainstream-like soundtrack to racing fans, Gran part 3 perfected this with a wide variety of music from classic and modern-day bands.



#22: Grand Theft Auto 4
Bottom Line: While there is no stand-out track that represents GTA IV, there is so much music, and so many good selections, this game has to make the list out of sheer quantity alone.



#21: Perfect Dark
Bottom Line: If this game had been remade with Hans Zimmer providing an updated soundtrack, it would sound like it came straight out of a Jerry Bruckheimer film. Epic in every possible way.



#20: Rock Band
Bottom Line: While it never achieved the revival popularity of Guitar Hero, Rock Band had an excellent variety of music, ranging all types of decades and genres. Then with downloadable content, the actual list of songs will remain endless until the next generation of gaming.



#19: Final Fantasy VII
Bottom Line: The epic RPG experience that launched the Playstation into a new level of success is led by a soundtrack that to this day is heavily imitated and heavily admired. It only makes sense that one of the better Final Fantasys ever has the best soundtrack in the franchise.



#18: Crazy Taxi
Bottom Line: This arcade classic (and eventual successful port) had an awesome blend of punk and hard rock that increased your need for speed (and more playing time).



#17: Super Mario 64
Bottom Line: An excellent way to start the Mario 3-D era, the soundtrack here was an excellent blend of old-school remixes with some new music that to this day is placed in other video games for nostalgic reasons.



#16: Donkey Kong Country
Bottom Line: One of the first video games to feature music popular enough to warrant a soundtrack release. And to this day contains some of the best theme music ever composed.



#15: Chrono Trigger
Bottom Line: Square Soft was on fire with the music by providing yet another incredible soundtrack after the already-amazing Final Fantasy III. With famed Final Fantasy composer AND Yasunori Mitsuda at the wheel, this was a classic from the first theme to the last song.
Standout Track: Secret of the Forest


#14: Tony Hawk Underground
Bottom Line: While all the Tony Hawk games contain a nice portion of music featuring well-known bands and underground hits, Tony Hawk Underground provided the most variety, and the most quality stuff.
Standout Track: Busdriver’s amazing “Imaginary Places.”



#13: Super Mario World 2: Yoshi’s Island
Bottom Line: While the original Super Mario World was slightly superior, Yoshi’s Island had the musch better soundtrack by combining a slew of happy-go-lucky music, eerie dungeon songs, and infectious jungle music that skips along with the gameplay.
Standout Track: Opening Story



#12: F-Zero GX
Bottom Line: While F-Zero X’s metal music was superb (and perfectly remastered in a separate album), F-Zero GX’s blend of noisy techno, Japanese rock, and sinister trance made this quite a delight to listen while desperately trying to back away from last place.
Standout Track: Red Canyon


#11: Donkey Kong Country 2: Diddy’s Kong Quest
Bottom Line: While the original mastered the jungle sounds, DKC2 mastered every other type of music out there, especially the pirate level music. The soundtrack was in the epic scale, with not a single song not matching the theme and mood of the level. Part 3 never had a chance to top this.
Standout Track: Stickerbush Symphony


Oh noes! It looks like we ran out of time! Ah well, next time, we shall see which 10 video games make the list, and we shall see just how high up the ladder DJ Hero reaches. Will it be a Top 3? There is still one remaining franchise with two entires on the list. Which one could that be? Hmmmm. Give it some time, by the end of this week, you will know. But in the meantime...SUSPENSE! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

On a more professional note, the top 10 gaming soundtracks will be unveiled in a couple of days. So sit tight, and predict away.

KFC, What Happened To You? The Boneless Filet-in-a-Box Thingy Review. Yes, I review food too.

Kentucky Fried Chicken has jumped off the deep end in recent times, and today’s events can most definitely confirm this. Whether it’s the rising poultry competition from McDonalds and Chick-Fil-A, constant criticisms lately about its products, or its dying reputation as the best quick service chicken out there, KFC really isn’t what it used to be. Before it was a must for anyone desiring good fried chicken, nowadays however despite a change in image, it’s become an overpriced hassle. When you have incredibly delicious places like Chick-Fil-A that offer plenty of healthy options (and offer a much better advertising campaign) or places like McDonalds that offer a hefty snack wrap at barely over a dollar, KFC’s powerhouse hold as the top chicken joint was rapidly declining.

But instead of lowering their prices or fighting back, they swam with the tide. One of the most controversial changes from any quick service eatery was KFC’s decision to sell grilled chicken to compete against other places offering much healthier choices. Grilled chicken at a place called Kentucky FRIED Chicken was not only hypocritical, contradictory, and advertisingly (invented a word, yes) messy, but it defeated the main purpose of even going to one of these places: for some calorie heaven. I myself loved KFC before—now…not so much. Did I change in eating lifestyle? Of course not, I drove four hours for a cheeseburger. It’s just that there’s a better world out there. Nonetheless, I had to give their latest food a try.

The boneless filet box by KFC is this new item which features a piece of chicken in a French fry-like container. If you’ve seen the commercial you probably believe the same thing: this looks ridiculous. It looks like a piece of chicken disguising itself as a side item instead of a meal. So why is it being advertised as the “main course” of the meal box? Why is a piece of chicken the next big thing in KFC? It’s like the Big Mac being the next big thing at McDonalds. Being a cheeky critic, I must give this newfangled thing a shot. I went to a KFC drive-thru and ordered the darn thing.

It’s a piece of chicken. Just a piece of chicken. Not larger than the Chicken Sandwich at the other place, and barely larger than your usual chicken strips at your usual restaurant. It barely tops the size of the KFC chicken items. It’s just a piece of chicken. While yes the commercial definitely showed that’s what it definitely looked like, I had no idea that KFC would stoop so low as to advertising a chicken breast on a container as their next new item. Are you serious? It’s just a piece of chicken. This fails in every single possible level imaginable. It fails much more than your awful popcorn chicken (which consist of 10% chicken and 90% calorie) or your chicken bowl crap (which mixes an entire lunch together into ugly-looking packaging).And it costs more than 5 bucks with a small side and your typical drink. Fail.

Fail.


Bottom Line: It’s just a piece of chicken.

Grade: 0/10

P.S. It’s just a piece of chicken.

The 2010 Oscar Hangover

Well the Academy Award hangover is over and now its time to sit back, and think about what happened. Think about the winners, and the losers, and those that weren’t even nominated. Time to think about how the show went about and why oh why it went on half an hour longer than its proposed running time. The bottom line is this: the award show did indeed run way too long, but for the first time in a while, it ran with some drama. Not a single movie was actually running away with all the awards, and most of the winners were definitely worthy. Nonetheless, my Best Picture winner did not win. Up didn’t win Best Picture, and I was pushing for this since the moment the nominations were mentioned:

“Call me a Disney fanatic all you want, I don’t care. Give the Best Picture award to Up. Yes, I did see Avatar, and I don’t think it was even a Top 10 of 2009 film. In a year with the likes of District 9, Inglorious Basterds, and 500 Days of Summer, Avatar shouldn’t even get a Best Picture nomination. It was a weak story covered in pretty packaging. Back to the worthy picture. Up is the best film of last year by far. The opening 10 minutes (now becoming a staple in animation history) are some of the most intense footage ever seen in a family movie. Very few movies can drive me to near-tears (yea I’ll admit it), but Up fires and hits on all sentimental cylinders. But let’s not forget the beautiful story full of memorable characters, memorable moments, hilarious scenes, and plenty of peril. Let’s also point out the 98% fresh tomato rating on Rotten Tomatoes (Avatar: 82%).”

I wrote that back in February, and the opinion still stands. And I saw The Hurt Locker. The Hurt Locker could have been film of the year, if it weren’t for the third act smacking a few clichés and the ending hitting sooner than expected. While 2009 did not contain a movie that I deemed 5-star worthy, Up was extremely close. But what’s even more upsetting is that not a single movie studio other than the producers of The Hurt Locker (and to an extent, Oprah) even tried to shoot for the main win. The Hurt Locker’s massive campaign to defeat Avatar not only was news-worthy, but even got a producer kicked out of the Academys.

In the meantime, the World of Disney doesn’t even contain a soundtrack for Up, and the freakin’ thing won Best Musical Score!! Why are there two albums for Alice in Wonderland, two albums for Cars, a Los Lobos album, but noting for Up? Not only that, but there’s literally no merchandise to promote the movie anymore. Two Academy Award wins, a Best Picture nomination, $723 million worldwide, and eventually the 35th highest-grossing movie of all-time and it still can’t get its own little section in the largest Disney merchandise shop in the world? This might be me overreacting over the lack of attention, but in all honesty, it looks like Disney never even attempted for the main prize like they sort-of-sort-of did for Wall-E. Come on Disney, Up really did have a chance. Avatar may have had the money, but its poor writing hit a sore spot with the Academy. Not to mention they should have realized that not a single sci-fi movie has ever won Best Picture.

The Hurt Locker wasn’t the only big surprise. Inglorious Basterds, the best script I saw last year, didn’t win Screenplay, and that went to a good movie with a ho-hum script. The Hurt Locker’s specialty was the direction and acting, not the writing. How can you top a World War 2 film that literally rewrites history? Precious winning Adapted Screenplay contributed to Up in the Air’s incredibly disappointing Oscar performance (not a single win). But I will not forgive the Academy for failing to nominate The Hangover and (500) Days of Summer and instead nominating The Messenger and a Serious Man. Monique’s win was a total surprise to me, as Precious winning anything at all was unexpected. Anyone else think that Tyler Perry secretly was upset that none of HIS films had been nominated for anything, while an Oprah-run production nearly hits Best Picture? I think the biggest surprise is Cinematography going to a movie that’s nearly entirely motion-capture and computer-generated.

The show itself needs to change format though in order to avoid a longer running time. And it needs to be run by Neil Patrick Harris, who provided the greatest opening sequence in any Oscar show in a very, very, very, very long time. Personally, I think the awards should be run beginning from awards concerning its inception and opening ideas (screenplay, art direction, costume design) and run up to the on-the-set awards (cinematography, makeup), then go through the post-filming process (music, sound mixing, sound editing, editing) and then give out all the non-Best Picture best picture awards (short film, documentary, animated shorts, animated feature film, foreign film). Lastly, we get the acting awards, and then Best Picture.

That’s for structure, now for timing purposes, there should be some awards that shouldn’t even mention the nominations, but mention the winners and then give them about 2 minutes of fame by discussing the procedure and why it wins. The awards that should be handed out without mentioning the nominees include: Documentary, Short Film, Short Animated Film, Makeup, Sound Editing, Sound Mixing, Costume Design). Give these winners 1-2 minutes and you’ll save at least 10-15 minutes of unnecessary Oscar time. Not diminishing these awards, but I actually think the audience would pay more attention if all the focus is on the winner. Kind of like what happened to Best Picture, minus the Tom Hanks rushing.

Bottom Line: The Oscars were good, plenty of drama, plenty of worthy winners, but the show itself needs to be shorter, and needs more Neil Patrick Harris. Honestly, in the Emmys he was the best host since Conan O’Brian a couple years earlier. As for Disney, I honestly am disappointed in the way you handled your movies last year, and Up was the best example (2nd place: Princess and the Frog). Last but not least, where is (500) Days of Summer?????

Here are the DIAC Oscar Picks (Much more important than what the Academy thinks):
Best Picture: Up
Best Actor: Jeff Bridges
Best Actress: Meryl Streep (She is due another Oscar, despite being nominated so much)
Best Supporting Actor: Christoph Waltz
Best Supporting Actress: Maggie Gyllenhall
Best Directing: Spike Jonze (Where the Wild Things Are)
Best Screenplay (Original): Inglorious Basterds
Best Adapted Screenplay: District 9
Best Cinematography: Where the Wild Things Are
Best Editing: Up
Best Art Direction: Sherlock Holmes
Best Makeup: District 9
Best Music: Up
Best Original Song: Down in New Orleans (Princess and the Frog)
Best Sound Mixing: Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen
Best Sound Editing: The Hurt Locker
Best Visual Effects: Avatar
Best Animated Picture: Up
Ciao.