Celebrating its arrival on the Virtual Console, here's my 2006 review of Zombies Ate My Neighbors!!

October 11, 2006 - We have our share of classic and not-so-classic zombie films, in which for some odd reason the dead are not really dead and they want others to die. It’s a genre that if used well, can create some fantastic movie going experiences. While Romero invented and perfected the genre, even he himself has failed on a few levels in terms of zombie films. Even worse are zombie games. There are very few decent zombie games out there; it’s a type of game that just doesn’t happen often with fun results. Even the popular Resident Evil games aren’t that that great with the exception of the fourth installment, which even then drifts away from the zombie elements of gaming. But, the Sega Genesis and the Super Nintendo were blessed years ago with one of the most original, innovative, and addicting games of the 16-bit era, and once more stands as the best “horror” game of all-time. That’s right folks; we are talking about Zombies Ate My Neighbors!

Neighbors are being attacked by a sudden surge of zombies! Are you a skilled enough hero to save your friends, family, and neighbors from impending doom? More or less that is the premise of Zombies Ate My Neighbors, it’s very simple, like the typical horror film. Its never really explained why and how the zombies came to be, but that’s for you to guess, and its up to you to escape from their clutches. But then it extends to more than just zombies, you instead get settings of almost every single type of horror film ever crafted at the time.

You can choose a boy or a girl to engage in action. Armed with a squirt gun with limited ammo, you must run around and rescue people, pick up special weapons, find some hidden items, and also find an escape route, all while zombies rise from the ground (at random moments) and attack you. What’s worse is that its not just zombies that are after you; you have to take on slime, evil dolls, evil insects, and even men wielding chainsaws! You afraid yet? Be very afraid, because Resident Evil 4 has nothing on this in terms of impossibility.

Shining with a creative art style, and using a 2-D view that resembles that of Link to the Past, Zombies Ate My Neighbors is a very visually appealing game. It’s very comical in tone, and the game rarely slows down or hiccups. While it wouldn’t win any Academy Awards, it most certainly would take you back to the Merrie Melodies/ Tex Avery days in which detail didn’t matter, its all about exaggerating the characters and the scenarios instead. The text in the game resembles that of the vintage 50s-60s horror films, not just that of zombie movies. The animations run very smoothly, and the zombies themselves just don’t stop popping up from the ground. While its comical tone keeps you from being scared all the time, this game will still give you a few moments in which you’ll jump and panic.

Saving an entire neighborhood and the world from invading creatures of all types requires some decent button-work. This game is extremely difficult, and we’ll get back to that later, but the playcontrol is done in a way in which its very easy to learn the game. You can shoot and change weapons with the push of just one button. Playing Zombies Ate My Neighbors will leave you frustrated, but it has nothing to do with the controls, since they are very simple. You are not limited to just a squirt gun though, you can use bazookas, soda grenades, and even ancient artifacts (which happens later in the game). There is limited ammo, which only adds to the strategic portion of the game, and also just adds to the fun frustration.

The folks of LucasArts and Konami also decided to add catchy music to every single stage, and like the art style and graphics, differs greatly depending on where you were. Even the menu screen had some cool music, and who dedicates good music to the title? There is also a wide variety of sound effects, so the game never actually becomes repetitive-sounding; more or less you get tons and tons of horror films packed into one delicious package. Unlike terror films, this one doesn’t offer moments of silence, they pack the game with a huge soundtrack.

55 levels is enough to keep anyone entertained, but add a heavy dose of challenging gameplay that keeps even the most expert gamers screaming in horror and anger and this game is automatically a keeper. The SNES days had its share of difficult games, but Zombies Ate My Neighbors can be so tough its even scary. It gets hard, fast. The first level is absolutely nothing like the rest of the game. Upon your quest towards the credits, you will run into some levels that seem impossible, guaranteed. With the first walkthrough of this game, the high score is the last thing on your mind, as you try to survive the puzzles, traps, and barrage of monsters. Few games become just as bad with another person involved, but Zombies was able to accomplish that! Just because there are two players doesn’t mean the screen splits, it means you both have to work together and figure out where to go, otherwise one person will be away from the screen and will therefore get killed easily.

Zombies Ate My Neighbors is a horror fan’s dream come true. Spoofing everything terror from Romero to Child’s Play, this is an absolutely perfect game to play with a couple of friends in the dark when there is nothing else to do or when there is no boyfriend/girlfriend in your life. With more than 50 stages, this is longer than the average 16-bit quest, and even longer than the typical games of today. While the excruciating difficulty can be a turn-off to some gamers (especially the ones nowadays) and an easy mode would have been nice, this game stands as one of the best third-person shooters of all-time. Also packed into this are plenty of cheats, different ways of winning the game and even the credits is interesting. LucasArts can pull off some very creative and fantastic games, and this is one of them. This came out for both the SNES and the Genesis, and no version is superior over the other, they are both fun games worth your money.

Bottom Line: Zombies Ate My Neighbors is terror gaming at its best. Forget Resident Evil 4, you don’t see Capcom referencing a handful of horror films of the past while offering gameplay that allows you to fight zombies, mummies, big babies, aliens, and even slime. Before the infamous Chainsaw Man in RE4, he makes an appearance in the SNES/Genesis classic. Where is the remake? The Nintendo DS needs to create a remake, and the Nintendo Wii has to allow this game to be downloaded in their Virtual Console. We need something, because the PSX generation of gamers was not able to experience this brilliant game.

With a colorful and cartoonish style of graphics, excellent playcontrol, a good soundtrack, good sound work, difficulty that will leave you without hair, and also more stages than the average shooter, heck the average game for that matter, Zombies Ate My Neighbors is yet another reason why the 16-bit generation released the best arsenal of video games, when the competition was at its best, and the SNES, Genesis, and third-parties cranked out classic after classic after classic. The next Halloween comes around, forget Resident Evil, play this game with some buddies, and let the good times roll!

Score: 9/10

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Extra Notes:

I personally am hating the Virtual Console and its inability to truly cash on its potential. This could be Nintendo once again punishing the old-school gamers for not supporting the underrated Nintendo Gamecube. Whatever the reason, its underperformed for the longest time. Luckily, Zombies Ate My Neighbors has finally arrived in all its glory. This is still a fantatic game, 3 years after I wrote the review. You are going to see me buying this for my family in the incoming days.

Where the Wild Things Are: 8/10

Where the Wild Things Are (2009)
Definitely not for the young, but for the young-at-heart
27 October 2009


Where the Wild Things Are is quite possibly the deepest adaptation of a mere children's book in the history of film-making. The 1963 picture book was expanded to become this massive production full of lush scenery, incredible special effects, heavy drama, and an overall nostalgic (yet dark) look at childhood. What makes this movie work is the incredible directing talent of Spike Jonze, one of the best directors of any entertainment medium in the last two decades. However, this movie is not for children in the least bit, its for those who remember how tough it was to be a child, especially when the chips are against you. Forget the PG rating, this movie has the indie flavor, the indie atmosphere, and the indie complexity that you would expect from circulating film festivals everywhere. When you mesh a big budget with Spike Jonze, expect beautiful magic, just not the kind your children should watch.

The movie is about a very angry boy named Max (Max Records) that is haunted by loneliness and the disappearance o his father. He has a very active imagination and wants everyone else to be forever embedded in his imaginary world. After an angry encounter with his mother (Catherine Keener) he runs away from the house and enters a world full of lush scenery, massive monsters, and enough land to construct whatever his heart desires. He quickly gains approval from the monsters around him as they try to build a brand new community full of passageways, forts, and secret entrances. However, this new world is full of the same problems that he encountered in the real world, except it's more dangerous because of the massive monsters that carry a hint of unpredictability.

Where The Wild Things Are contains very few actual actors and actresses, with much reliance on special effects and massive puppets; but the entire effort works perfectly. Max Records himself does a great job portraying an emotionally torn little boy with layers of emotions. Part of it has to do with Spike Jonze, but most of it is because of this little boy's incredibly mature acting skills. The voice acting throughout the second and third half is just as incredible, as they range from the ever-reliable Catherine O'Hara, to Chris Cooper, to James Galdolfini (Yes, from the Sopranos). There's actually a small amount of Best Supporting Actor buzz attributed to Galdolfini because of his ability to bring the main monster Carol to life.

Spike Jonze is one of the best directors in the business, and easily is the main reason why the film works. Check out his prior experience: Being John Malkovich, Adaptation, and amazing music videos of "Sabotage," "Buddy Holly," "Undone," "Weapon of Choice," "Rockafella Skank," "Praise You," "Its Oh So Quiet," "California," and much more (I suggest you take a trip to YouTube if you have not seen any of these videos). Spike Jonze is the best music video director I've ever seen, and after this movie, is also one of the best film directors out there. He quite literally brings the story to life, and perfectly blends the special effects with the scenery and the young actor. There is virtually no distinction between what is happening and what is post-production, it just looks that good.

There are sweeping shots of endless ocean, endless sand oceans and endless forests. Some of the visuals you'll see in this movie are virtually indescribable, especially when they start building a new home and fort. The movie looks fantastic, and is undoubtedly one of those films that absolutely needs IMAX and eventually Blu-Ray. The cinematography and directing is top-notch, and carries the movie whenever there's any sign of slowdown. Jim Henson's Creature Shop is one of the main reasons why this movie works, as their contribution in terms of animatronics, puppetering and the effects associated with it were spellbinding.

What really drags this movie is the mere grim material, especially considering that it was a children's book that celebrated childhood while having the subtle moments of youthful angst. This movie is pretty much running on youth angst, as even the monsters show heavy signs of anger, torment, and violence. That's what makes this movie one of the darkest PG movies in a very long time, and one that distances itself from the average family fare. The movie becomes a celebration on how easy yet confusing it was to be a child in a grown-up world, and even when you can transport yourself to your dream surroundings, these feelings of loneliness, depression, anger, and confusion linger. It's an adult movie about a kid, and this kind of combination is quite dangerous if you want to make money, luckily Spike Jonze is one of the few always willing to bend the rules and put art ahead of success.

Bottom Line: A fantastic-looking movie full of the themes and tribulations that was experienced in such few words in the original book by Maurice Sendeck, Spike Jonze blends excellent cinematography with flawless direction in order to bring the imaginative book to life. Pulling off great performances from the kids, adults, and puppets, Where the Wild Things Are is an indie movie at heart with the budget of a blockbuster. The five-plus year wait to bring the movie to audiences everywhere came with good reason, as no studio company wanted to budget and distribute a PG movie that isn't for the whole family. The dark material may hamper the lovely memories of the childhood imagination and fragility (and the movie itself), but overall it's an experience that should be seen at least once. Where the Wild Things Are is one of the best films of the year, and easily better than the average PG flick.

10 Out-Of-Place Attractions in Walt Disney World

Part of the success of the Walt Disney World is its ability to incorporate themes in every single attraction, park, hotel, and recreational activity. Everything has a story, even the water parks have tales attached to them. Even better is how (not as much as before) the themes tend to be connected. The best example was the connection between the Jungle Cruise and the Adventurer’s Club back in the Pleasure Island days. And sometimes the connections can span even years. Mission Space has a Horizons logo attached to it in the queue line, recognizing the evolution in its theming. However, with that being said, we do have some anomalies in the Walt Disney World. The number of inaccurate, hypocritical, and inconsistent themes has definitely increased over the years unfortunately, but overall the parks remain stable theme-wise. But, if the trend continues, who knows what might happen.

Luckily, the Fantasyland upgrade seems to remain consistent in the Princess/castle themes. Here is a list of the 10 biggest and most inconsistent attractions in terms of theme and its location. These are 10 locations that do not match its surroundings and should move elsewhere if Disney were in pursuit of theme park perfection like Walt Disney in the olden days. Read em’ and weep.



#10: Festival of the Lion King
Current Location: Camp Minnie-Mickey
Where It Should Be: Africa in Animal Kingdom

So, the section of the park consists of laid-back acoustic guitar music, lovely scenery, woodland creatures, and….a festival about an African lion and all the African animals that live beneath him. Yep, that makes total sense. What makes it stranger is that Africa was indeed built before the park officially opened (Unlike Asia) so why did they transport the show all the way to another section, one that totally doesn’t match the wildness of the show itself? It’s an excellent show, easily one of the best in the entire Walt Disney company (including Broadway shows), but it’s definitely in the wrong place. Send it to Africa, I am sure there’s still plenty of room left in that area.



#9: Toy Story Mania
Current Location: Hollywood Studios
Where it Should Be: Boardwalk Resort

Boy oh boy, the Hollywood Studios definitely changed in theme over the years. It used to be a place where movie production can be experienced and movie scenes can be brought to life. Toy Story Mania does neither. Then again, neither does Rockin’ Roller Coaster or Tower of Terror. Nonetheless, the previous two examples bring music and television to life respectively. Toy Story Mania is a knock-off of the classic boardwalk games you used to play in the older days. Toy Story Mania, despite the Pixar Place location, shouldn’t really be there if you are very picky about the theme thing. It would be absolutely a blast in the Boardwalk hotel area. It doesn’t require much room, and will draw many more visitors to that section of Walt Disney World. The chances of this happening are extremely slim, especially with how much of a hit the place is at Hollywood.



#8: Tomorrowland Speedway
Current Location: Tomorrowland
Where It Should Be: Toontown Fair

This is the one example where the change in theme and location is technically possible, because they are right next to each other. The Tomorrowland Speedway in no way represents the future, or even the retro future. The gas-guzzling cars do nothing more than provide younger kids with a chance to experience driving before actually doing it a decade or so later. It’s a good attraction, it just needs to become more cartoony and refrain from being referenced in the future/space-themed Tomorrowland. Give each car a character, or heck if you really want to, base it off of the movie Cars.



#7: Seas With Nemo and Friends
Current Location: Future World
Where It Should Be: Pixar Place

This is a movie brought to life, but unfortunately is replacing one of my all-time favorite attractions, the Living Seas. Then, more unfortunately, its part of a place called “Future World.” The future: Finding Nemo. Yea, that makes a lot of sense. Bring back Living Seas, and move the Nemo section to Pixar place, where it will fit comfortably with Monster’s Inc. and Toy Story. Heck, for added style points, connect it to the Little Mermaid attraction. This will never happen, by the way.



#6: Club Cool
Current Location: Future World
Where It Should Be: World Showcase

The future of Earth is: trying sodas from around the world. Yea, that makes sense, lots of it. Epcot is the worst of the 4 parks in terms of theme and that’s ONLY because of Future World. One of two things would need to happen to Club Cool: whether you move it to the purgatory-like section of World Showcase (section with no country representative) or upgrade Club Cool to display what sort of drinks we may be drinking in the future. Be creative now. Imagine a frozen soda fountain. Or imagine a build-your-own soda machine. Or, a soda fountain with dozens of different available toppings and flavor-enhancers. But any sort of change would improve the Club Cool we have now—a Coca-Cola advertisement in the wrong place.



#5: Soarin’
Current Location: The Land
Where It Should Be: American Adventure

More Epcot entries. Soarin’ is easily the best attraction at Epcot. However, it doesn’t belong in a pavilion trying to teach guests how to protect crops and also showing the latest technology in growing the food. Soarin’ can save American Adventure, one of the weaker pavilions in the World Showcase. They can Americanize it by showing other states and then throwing an American flag in there for good measure. In all seriousness though, it’s a great ride that represents the beauty of America.



#4: Space Ranger Spin
Current Location: Tomorrowland
Where It Should Be: Pixar Place

Magic Kingdom’s weakest-themed location is definitely Tomorrowland. One of the biggest examples is Space Ranger Spin. The future is this: we are trying to save the universe from the evil emperor Zurg, an evil creature that ran off with….batteries? There is nothing very futuristic about it, except for the space traveling abilities. In a location that has mature storytelling and mature content like Space Mountain and Carousel of Progress, the Buzz ride becomes a bit of a buzzkill. Pixar Place would have a home for it, especially with the rather-similar Toy Story Mania right next door. Then again, with its similarities, do you really want to pitch them together? Toy Story Mania in terms of fun shatters Buzz. Maybe we can revamp the ride and turn it into a dark ride full of animatronics. Either way, I miss the old Tomorrowland, and one way to revert it back to the old days is removing this ride and #3. #3 is:



#3: Monster’s Inc Laugh Floor
Current Location: Tomorrowland
Where It Should Be: Fantasyland

The future: comedy performances from monsters in an alternate universe. Yikes man, not even close. Fantasyland would be perfect for this attraction, and we can even spice it up a bit with appearances from other Disney characters. After all, like the crazy premise of the show, anything is indeed possible. The heavy improv may make it a hit with young and old guests, but it’s definitely something that’s hampering the maturity of Tomorrowland.



#2: Finding Nemo: The Musical
Current Location: Animal Kingdom Purgatory
Where It Should Be: Hollywood Studios

One of the best musical shows in Walt Disney World isn’t even in Hollywood Studios, a place that has multiple musicals brewing about. Where’s the thought process here? Festival of the Lion King represents Animal Kingdom, which is why it stays there. However, the musical isn’t even in a themed land, it’s just thrown in between Everest and Dinoland as an afterthought. Tarzan Rocks used to occupy that area, which didn’t make things better. This building altogether should be abandoned so Dinoland can expand even more. This Nemo musical can definitely help out the musical section in Hollywood Studios along with Beauty and the Beast and Little Mermaid.




#1: Test Track

Current Location: Epcot’s Future World

Where it Should Be: ?!?!?!!??!?!!?

I don’t even want to start here. Test Track is an attraction placed in FUTURE world (sponsored by an old-school company that’s inches from bankruptcy) about the production and testing of cars—an invention of the early 20th century. There is nothing futuristic at all about this, not back in 1999, and not now. This ride breaks down all the time, doesn’t fully work half of the time, and just doesn’t mesh with the purpose of Epcot. I don’t even know where to move this ride, it’s rather stuck there. It is an enormous hit with guests apparently, and I fail to see why. The only explanation is that Americans love cars, and this is proven with Nascar and the successes of Pixar’s weakest effort Cars.


The only way this entire area can be saved (in my eyes) is if it can transform into a TRON ride. Tron has a sequel coming out, and if there’s something that screams state-of-the-art, futuristic, and cutting-edge, it’s Tron. Throw guests into the computer world, the invention that is always being re-invented and is forever changing the way the world functions. You can pull a Body Wars-type ride by shrinking into the computer world, then showing us the way they function, and duke it out against viruses and bugs and whatnot. Then end the ride with a race on those cool-looking bikes that would forever connect pop culture to the original movie. Its Disney, this can be done.

In the meantime, I’ll have to settle for the outdated, outsourced, overused, overworked, overrated, and wrongly-placed current attraction. But if GM were to drop out, who knows what may come about? It better not be a Cars ride or I will begin protesting.

Second Golden Age of Gaming, but which system shines the brightest?

For those that do not already know, I am trying to compile a list of the 75 biggest games of the decade. And it takes more than just my approval, it takes the ability to change the face of gaming and meet with amazing praise and/or success to make the list. Heck, some games I don’t really like are on the list simply because of its major impact on video games, culture, and the future of the business (I’m looking at you, Halo 3). This list will definitely include unsung classics, forgotten gems, and will also result in everyone disagreeing with me. I don’t care, this is my list, and I am sticking to it. By the way, nobody will figure out what the number one game is going to be, and my pick will draw the most ire.


In the meantime, its time to praise this generation as the Second Golden Age of Video Games. Think about it, for the first time in the history of gaming, we have three systems that have appealed to a major variety of people. In my case, for the first time since 1994 I am seeing a consistent amount of awesome games being released on not just one, but two systems. The Super Nintendo and Sega Genesis was the peak of gaming, it used to be that is. Now, we have the Nintendo Wii’s innovative and unique games, the Xbox 360’s massive library of games that extends through its incredible online service, and then there’s Playstation 3’s…um….let me get back to you on that. I sometimes wish I were a teenage NOW, so I can have the time to play all these magnificent games.

As a matter of fact, my pick for top game comes from this generation. Nintendo has their premiere franchises cranking out excellent games (Twilight Princess, Prime 3, Mario Galaxy, Punch-Out) and with the Wii, has provided a link to the past and also provided gaming that for the first time ever appeals to the mainstream. Then who can forget the DS, which since its release has still delivered quality games; with Scribblenauts and Kingdom Hearts released just recently. In this corner we have Micro$oft and the Xbox 360, which boasts the best multi-player lineup and best shooting games lineup of the three systems. Then there’s Sony and the Playstation 3 and its Blu-Ray capabilities, which allowed for lovely hi-def gaming. Metal Gear Solid 4 wouldn’t be complete without the HD gameplay. Sony also has the PSP…but outside of Japan nobody really knows that.

All this gaming talk has got me thinking, which gaming system has been the best of this decade? Which system can truly stand as the champ of all things gaming? In terms of sales, amount of quality games, affect on the industry, and lasting power, which one shines the brightest? Fortunately for all of you, I have assembled a list. We can start with an honorable mention: the Nintendo 64.



The Nintendo 64 was the beginning of the end of Nintendo dominance. For multiple reasons (that shall not be discussed here since it would take too long), the N64 was crushed by the PSX, even though it was undoubtedly the superior system. The N64 had much better games, and was the system to own for a Friday night. Honestly, in the late 90s, the best activity to do on a weekend is play dozens of rounds of Goldeneye 007, followed by Mario Kart 64. To this day we cry out for a remake of Goldeneye. Now, the N64 was losing heavy steam because Nintendo was prepping for the Nintendo Gamecube. However, the N64 had a small grouping of excellent games that came out earlier this decade---hence the honorable mention.



Perfect Dark stands as not only among the best of the decade, but among the best of all-time. This was Nintendo’s 1st non-third-party video game and is quite frankly, still the best. Using the Goldeneye 007 engine and improving upon it in every possible way, Perfect Dark is the first modern mature game. It wasn’t just a game in which you shoot anything that moves; it was a game with its own epic soundtrack, a crazy storyline, intense moments, and an overall package that is rarely ever topped. Games like Grand Theft Auto, Halo, and Call of Duty owe it to Perfect Dark because of its very mature presentation. Perfect Dark wasn’t just a shooter either; it was also adventure, espionage, and sci-fi. It’s Nintendo’s first grand effort towards appealing to the adult gamers that at the time weren’t plentiful.



The Legend of Zelda: Majora’s Mask is among the most underrated video games of all-time. This is a game that should have been praised more for its day/night system, extremely dark storyline, and compelling gameplay. Majora’s Mask was tough as nails, and could devour any modern-day gamer if they weren’t allowed to use any sort of strategy guide. The time-traveling aspects of Majora’s Mask were phenomenal, and if you have not played this gem yet, you owe it to yourself to find it at a pawn shop or at the Virtual Console. Then there’s Conker’s Bad Fur Day, Banjo-Tooie, Mario Party 2, Paper Mario, and Mario Tennis. If these games had all come out sooner, who knows what would have happened in the N64/PS1 battle. Then again, Conker’s Bad Fur Day never had a chance of success because of its marketing.



Standing at #5 in my unofficial best gaming system of the decade list is the Sega Dreamcast, the final nail on the coffin that is Sega competing in the console world. The Dreamcast was everything they hyped it to be, but came out too soon, didn’t have enough games to entice the buyers, didn’t have the best marketing campaign, and just burned out too quickly. With that being said, the Dreamcast is the greatest system for fighting games you’ll ever find. Soul Calibur, Dead or Alive, Capcom vs. SNK, and the unforgettable Marvel vs. Capcom got their popularity hikes with the Sega swansong. Street Fighter, King of Fighters, Guilty Gear, and Power Stone could also be found here. Despite the lack of success or fame, the Dreamcast did indeed have its share of great games, and was the first system to incorporate online gaming. Lastly, it accomplished the killing of the era of arcade games by successfully porting the last good arcade hits of the 90s; including Marvel vs. Capcom, House of the Dead, and the underrated Crazy Taxi.



#4 and #3 is where things become tricky. I have settled for a tie because I just can’t decide which system of these two is superior. We have the Xbox 360, which boasts an incredible lineup of shooters, a perfect online system, and also some of the best games this generation. The Xbox 360 killed the PS3 by taking away some of Sony’s former partners and followers. Now, Final Fantasy, Metal Gear Solid, and Grand Theft Auto have moved on to Micro$oft. The 360 also found its “Halo-killer” after Sony’s 7-year attempt with Call of Duty 4. But, take away all the superb shooters and what have you got? More or less the Playstation 3. The Xbox 360 is the better system, don’t get me wrong, but has yet to really separate itself from Sony’s third-place grasp. What if I wasn’t a fan of shooting games? Then there’s not as much to admire about the 360.

In the other corner is the Nintendo Wii. The Wii is currently the hardcore gamer’s worst enemy and the mainstream’s newest friend. The Wii is not only dominating, but its making history. Nursery homes have Nintendo Wiis now. Houses with no kids have Nintendo Wiis. Before you know it, they will start reaching gyms (Wii Fit) and maybe even classrooms (Nintendo has recently begun looking into educational games). Nintendo also has the top fighting game this generation (Smash Brothers Brawl), top platform game (Super Mario Galaxy), and the best-selling game in history (Wii Sports).

Yet the drawback of the Wii is the untapped potential and limited online. Imagine if the Wii had Xbox 360’s Xbox live. The Wii would have been the best system in history with the internet power Microsoft possesses. Then there are the third-party games that are half-assed efforts from get-rich-quick scheme companies. Last but not least is the heavily underused WiiWare, Virtual Console, and Wi-Fi components. Where on earth is our Kirby Wii, Star Fox Wii, F-Zero Wii, Pikmin Wii, and Golden Sun Wii? Wii are still waiting for that (Pun intended).

It is a tie because the weakness of one system is the strength of the other, which means an ultimate canceling out. Nintendo desperately needs an online service that the Xbox 360 has. Imagine Mario Kart Wii, Smash Brothers Brawl, Animal Crossing, and Pokemon on XBox Live. The Xbox 360 needs the fantastically diverse list of games that Nintendo possesses. For those arguing that the 360 has a great list of games and I should shut up, I will point out that while Xbox 360 is the most successful American system in history, the system is currently last in hardware sales around the world (Losing out to even the PSP. Its also losing to the DS by over 200,000 copies a month).




#2 belongs to only one system, and that’s the Playstation 2. The Playstation 2 (despite losing the crown soon) is the best-selling system in history. PS2’s strategy was simple: not make it tough for the third-parties to make games for you. Back in the NES days, Nintendo allowed you to make only a few games for its system, so you had to make sure they were darn good. In the case here, Sony accepted anything. The PS2 has over 1,500 games, and also is home to some of the best games of all-time. Online gaming went from afterthought to possibility here and while it’s not as fancy as the Xbox Live, it gets the job done. PS2 was also the first backwards-compatible console system, which is one of the main reasons it was able to beat down the Gamecube so badly.

The Playstation 2 is so good; it’s been hindering the sales of the PS3. PS2 still sells hardware and software, which makes it hard for us to move on to the next big thing when you can obtain a system with over 1,500 games and classics like GTA, Metal Gear Solid, Burnout, Sly Cooper, Ratchet and Clank, Jak, and more for just 99 bucks. PS2 didn’t have just shooters or just sequels, Sony had its fair share of RPGs, fighting games, platform games, puzzlers, and much more. Dominating the PSX in every possible way, it’s a mystery as to where this massive, 135-million fan base, ran off to. Notice the commercials now use the sound effects of the PS2 advertisements when selling PS3 material.






Don’t worry guys, the Nintendo Gamecube isn’t the best system of the decade, its actually the Nintendo DS.






The Nintendo DS changed gaming forever. The DS proved that the Wii can indeed exist in the gaming world without being met with disappointment and slumping numbers. The two-screen handheld defied expectations, defied the competition, and delivered some of the best gameplay you’ll ever experience. If you want a truly diverse lineup, look no further than the DS. Scribblenauts, NintenDogs, Trauma Center, Brain Age, Ace Attorney, Elite Beat Agents, Wario Ware Touched, and Rhythm Heaven are just a few examples of the diversity in gaming you can experience with the DS. The DS also proved to the competitors that linking to the past is becoming a very successful commodity. New Super Mario Bros. is one of the 5 best-selling console games in history.

For more hilarity, 4 of the top 10 best-sellers in history belong to the Nintendo DS. Unlike the Gamecube and the Wii, Nintendo’s frontrunner franchises ALL had their moment to shine for the DS, and delivered. New Super Mario Bros., Metroid Prime Hunters, Zelda: Phantom Hourglass, Kirby Super Star Ultra, Star Fox Command, Yoshi’s Island DS are just a few examples. The Nintendo DS proved to Nintendo that the world wanted a different way to play games, they wanted something different. Now with the DSi, a new era of DS gaming is emerging with the DS Ware and its library of cheap yet engrossing games that can be purchased.

Want a good RPG? Final Fantasy III, Chrono Trigger, Mario and Luigi 3 can be found. Want a good puzzler? Planet Puzzle League and Tetris DS will fix that up. How about a good music game? Guitar Hero: On Tour, Guitar Hero: Decades, and Elite Beat Agents can solve that. Whatever genre there is, the DS has a good game for it. This is why the Nintendo DS is undoubtedly the top system of this decade, and among the best we’ve ever seen.

My lovely list of the 75 top games of the decade will be unveiled eventually, in the meantime, enjoy this list. I’m out.

No Lovin' For the Game Boy Era: A Nintendo Editorial

Nintendo’s linking to the past has not only been infamous among the gaming community, it has also served as a successful commodity. Part of Wii’s success is its backwards-compatibility and its heavily underused Virtual Console, which allows gamers to purchase games from the NES, SNES, and N64 sagas. However there is one piece of history Nintendo has been amazingly and unfairly cruel to, and that’s the Game Boy counterpart. The Nintendo Game Boy literally is the reason why Nintendo has an amazing stronghold in the handheld community. As a matter of fact, even if the Wii were to go down in flames, the Nintendo DS and DSi will still enable the company to make a profit. With that being said, where in the hell are the Game Boy/Game Boy Color remakes?



We have remakes of NES, SNES, N64, Gamecube, and even non-Nintendo games for the Nintendo Wii and Nintendo DS. So why can’t we have the same makeover for classic Game Boy games on the DS and maybe even the Wii? Why don’t we have a Pac-Man like collection of multiple successful Game Boy games on the DS or Wii? There isn’t a single system with more forgotten classics and success stories than the Game Boy. There are at least 30-40 video games that sold over a million copies worldwide and the only one to truly gain recognition and its eventual remake is the Pokemon franchise and the largely forgotten Sword of Mana. Tetris and Dr. Mario don’t really count because a) the versions we have on other systems are NOT the same as the GB version (and are inferior) and because b) Tetris and Dr. Mario made its actual start for the NES.


What about Metroid II? What about Super Mario Land 1 and 2? Hell, what about the entire underrated Wario Land trilogy? Then there’s Mole Mania, Metal Gear Solid (that’s right, there was a Metal Gear Solid for the Game Boy Color—you should look it up), Donkey Kong 94’, Donkey Kong Land 1-3, James Bond 007, Kirby’s Dream Land 1-2, Ducktales 1-2 (even Mickey games were decent back then and did indeed sell), Mickey’s Dangerous Chase, the first two Mega Mans, and much much more. Even celebrated franchises like Mario, Donkey Kong, and Link are not getting any love from the GB counterparts. Did you know that there are 3 Zelda games that were awarded perfect scores from IGN for the Game Boy? Link’s Awakening, Oracle of Ages, and Oracle of Seasons are all incredible adventures that helped the Game Boy sell over 100 million copies in its lifespan. We even had spectacular RPG versions of Mario Tennis and Mario Golf for the Game Boy. There was even a good Waverace game on the Game Boy.

Of course, there are also the unsung classics. F-1 Race made racing possible for handhelds, Super R.C. (which put Rareware on the map), Battletoads made porting to the Game Boy possible, Castlevania: The Adventure allowed for the franchise to excel in handheld systems (there were at least three of them before the PSX/Game Boy Advance era), Final Fantasy Legends 1-3 (which allowed for RPGs to thrive in the handheld world), and then there’s the ultra-popular Dragon Warrior Game Boy games, which allowed for Dragon Warrior/Quest IX to break Japanese sales records. There’s so much gaming history with the Game Boy that isn’t really known, it’s rather embarrassing. The best part: there’s still at least 5 million-sellers I have yet to mention (Smurfs, Golf, Tennis, etc.)


Now I am not asking for ALL of these games to get their share to re-enter the spotlight, but I am begging that a good portion of these have a chance at a second life. Come on Nintendo, there is a DS Ware out there, why doesn’t that function contain a Virtual Console? We could have Game Boy games on sale as well as Game Gear games. We can re-popularize games like Bonk’s Adventure and Super Adventure Island and Rayman, three games that received minimal fame upon release. Why aren’t there collection games? And with the processing power of the Nintendo DSi, it definitely is possible. The GBA has a Pac-Man collection and multiple arcade collections, so why can’t the DSi get a Mario Land collection, or a Wario Land collection? Metroid received its remake with Zero Mission, so why doesn’t Metroid II (a very vital part to the series story-wise). Metal Gear Solid (a.k.a Ghost Babel) is the least-appreciated game to receive perfect scores from magazines and websites around the world.


The worst part is how all this neglect is a slap in the face to the developers of these games over the years that did so much with so little processing power. While the SNES, N64, and Gamecube had their share of abilities, the original Game Boy (and eventual Game Boy Color) couldn’t pack that much gameplay, couldn’t pack that much content. What some of these companies accomplished is quite incredible. Metal Gear Solid for the Game Boy Color has more single-player gameplay content than Halo 3 for crying out loud. There is some innovative work out there too. Wario Land 2 and 3 back then were known because they were difficult to beat---even though you can’t actually die in the game. There are very few games (handheld or not) that attempts to craft such clever gameplay.

Bottom Line: Come on Nintendo. There is so much potential in the linking to your past that you have not even touched upon its rather disappointing. Surely you exclaim and display your past much better than your competitors (not even going to begin to discuss Sony’s problems in reliving the past) but there is so much more that can be done. While games like Mario Brothers and Legend of Zelda: Link to the Past gets their remakes generation after generation; there’s still over a dozen Game Boy games that are stuck in their current purgatory state. Give these Game Boy classics a chance. Why are you trying so hard to move on only in the handheld department? The DSi already doesn’t play GBA games (arguably the best of the handheld generations), so don’t further the pain by prolonging this betrayal longer. The handheld days of the Game Boy, Game Boy Pocket, and Game Boy Color deserve more respect, more honor, more compassion, and more admiration.

More remakes of these unsung and unknown classics would not only re-introduce the games to the hardcore and introduce them to the new generation of gamers, but it would also allow for the prolonged celebration of the games that allowed for Nintendo to be the gaming powerhouse that it currently is. I would pay good money to get my hands on remakes and re-issues of the Super Mario Land, Wario Land, handheld Zelda, and handheld Kirby series. And I am sure I am not the only one. I am a big fan of your work, some of the best video games of all-time are from your company and gaming divisions, but I am currently disheartened that I have to hunt down brilliant Game Boy games online and in used game stores, when all it takes is a trip to the DS Ware world for me to obtain them.



The era of the Game Boy (1989-2000) needs to be awakened. Bring it back.

Blogger’s Note:

I sent this article as a letter to Nintendo of America, just to see what their reply and explanation would be. In all honesty, Nintendo has done a very good job preserving most of its history, as every year new gamers can obtain access to the company’s greatest video games and best achievements, but I feel that there’s still much more they can do. I am part of the crowd that isn’t disappointed in the Wii and DS, but I do agree a bit more work can be done. Will my letter change the company’s policy? Most likely not, since most of the games I mentioned most of the gaming world has already forgotten about or moved on. At the same time though, some of the games I mentioned above in my opinion are among the greatest ever and deserve a second chance (Wario Land 2-3, Super Mario Land 2, Metal Gear Solid, Mario Tennis GBC). For crying out loud, you can’t purchase any non-Wii/DS games on its main website—as if the company is wholly ready to move on.

Only time will tell what this article accomplishes.

QUICK UPDATE:
Nintendo replied to the e-mail I sent them rather quickly:

Hello,


I appreciate your taking the time to share your comments and suggestions with us regarding the lack of Game Boy remakes. Rest assured that your email will be forwarded on to the appropriate department for further review.


Also, at this time, we are not planning a Virtual Console-style service for the Nintendo DSi. If you’re a fan of Game Boy games, we suggest using a Game Boy Advance SP as we still support and are able to repair them if necessary.




Sincerely,


Dervin Camden

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Sad to hear that there's no Virtual Console for the DSi anytime soon, but I am sure with enough voices speaking out we might create some sort of ripple in the Nintendo industry.

Cinematic Perfection Vol. 6

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
This critic has seen more than 600 films. The fact of that matter is I am a very harsh critic, and one that does not give high marks very often, especially recently. Nonetheless, there are movies in which received the highest honor from me. Yes, perfect scores coming from me do exist, and I am every so often throwing reviews of movies that I absolutely loved and adored to prove to you that yes I can enjoy movies just as much as hate them. These are in no order, they are all equally amazing movies that should be viewed by everybody---at least once
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Star Wars: Episode V - The Empire Strikes Back (1980)

Prior to 1980, there had not been a movie sequel that quite destroyed over dethroned the original in terms of quality, cultural impact, and everlasting effect. Ever since 1916, when the first movie sequel was born (Fall of a Nation---completing your pointless trivia of the day), there had been very few successful sequels that could stand tall with the original. Of course, there was French Connection II, and Godfather II, but neither of them could quite compare to the original. Enter Empire Strikes Back. Not only did this sequel have a tougher job to live to its original counterpart (a box office phenomenon that would forever change marketing, merchandising, and film-making for generations to come), but this sequel quite frankly did the unthinkable by changing the tone, raising the stakes, and not promising a happy-go-lucky ending that usually associates with sequels. Empire Strikes Back is yet another Star Wars movie that broke the rules of how to make a film and also ushered a new style and technique of film-making.

This movie didn't have the expected ending. Not all the backstories and main stories reached a resolution. The bad guys did win. The good guys were doomed. This sort of stuff doesn't happen in blockbuster sequels, but Empire Strikes Back dared to do this. Accompanying the change in pace is an excellent score, superb directing, incredible action, top-notch special effects, and basically the complete package in entertainment. The blend of action, drama, suspense, romance, and humor is among the best you'll ever see in a movie. Not only is it one of the best sequels ever, but it's also one of the greatest movies ever. This sort of movie-making magic just can't be duplicated.

Empire Strikes Back is about the travels of Luke Skywalker, Princess Leia, and Han Solo (Mark Hamill, Carrie Fischer, Harrison Ford) as they suddenly encounter a massive resistance coming from the Dark Side of the force. Led by an angrier and less sympathetic Darth Vader, the Evil Empire is  suddenly faster, swifter, and smarter in their attempt to control the universe. At the same time, Luke begins his training to become a Jedi knight, only to have his training stalled when the conflict is becoming increasingly dangerous to all his friends. While it is obvious George Lucas didn't have every detail planned out in the trilogy (Example: Leia/Luke/Han love triangle), he had a grand idea as to where the franchise was going story-wise.

The strongest part of Empire Strikes Back is like that of the original: the special effects and the associating visual spectacles that transports you to a totally different universe. The film was larger-than-life, as every location is grander and more impressive than the last: beginning with Hoth (and its classic snow battle) and ending with Bespin. While this was Lucas' creation and story, we cannot forget the directing of Irvin Kershner, which was the best of the entire franchise. Thanks to him, the acting here was best, the surprises were best-hidden, and the pacing was at its peak. The two hours breeze by here, and is capped by one of the strongest finishes in any blockbuster movie.

All of your regular characters were back and were at their most entertaining here: Han Solo is at his cockiest and funniest in the second installment, Luke Skywalker is at his most heroic (and most foolish), 3-CPO is at his funniest (and most irritating), and then Darth Vader is at his downright scariest. When Luke has to fight him, the only hint of sheer terror in the trilogy occurs then—as Darth Vader pretty much tosses him around like an unwanted ragdoll. Adding to the fear is John Williams' immortal imperial march song, which makes its debut here. The rest of the music in this movie is also spectacular, and should have won the Oscar that year.

Bottom Line: This is one of the top sequels of all-time, because it separates itself from the original by changing the tone, and expanding (and improving) upon everything that make the original Star Wars so great: the writing, special effects, directing, costumes, blend of action and comedy, set design, characters, musical score, pacing, and overall fun. Empire Strikes Back outperforms the original Star Wars in every aspect; from the better first act to even the smaller things like the lightsaber dueling choreography. It would be years before we find a blockbuster sequel that can top the original, and that's Terminator 2 which doesn't occur until the next decade.

Like I've said about Star Wars, if you have not seen this movie, it's because you are trying so hard to avoid it. If you don't like this movie, then it's because you just don't enjoy good movie-making. Empire Strikes Back is one of those rare movies that can be wholesomely entertaining yet engrossingly deep at the same time. This is borderline-art, and is a sheer joy from the first minute to the last. The Empire Strikes Back: raising the bar for blockbusters and sequels everywhere---too bad there's been so few of them that have matched the same level of quality.