The 2009 Unofficial Official Summer Movie Awards

The summer season is over, and I know you know what that means: the Unofficial Official Summer Movie Awards!! Yay! This is my second year doing such a thing, and to recap, here were the results last year:

Best Action Sequence: Iron Man (First action scene)

Best Fight: Kung Fu Panda (Po against his master)

Best Summer Popcorn Flick: Dark Knight

Biggest Summer Surprise: Kung Fu Panda

Biggest Disappointment: Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull


Top Overall Summer Movie:
1) Wall-E
2) Tropic Thunder
3) The Dark Knight
4) Iron Man
5) Pineapple Express

Let’s start the awards with one statement that I am sure most people would agree with: 2009 was a major disappointment. There were very few films I found to be memorable or amazingly enjoyable. Last year we had the triple threat of Iron Man, Dark Knight, and Wall-E. This year, we had the biggest film of the year being an insanely disappointing and dismal mess, with only the box office surprises carrying the summer season with its strong legs (Hangover, Up, Proposal). Out of the 12 summer movies I saw, only 4 of them got higher than a mediocre score. It just wasn’t a good summer. A lot of promise, and very little delivery. 2008 was much better than 2009 (and I even said that 07 was better than 08…which I am now re-considering).

Without further interruption, the 2009 Summer Movie Awards:


1) Biggest Surprise:
The Hangover
My Score: 7/10

This movie was not supposed to run away with almost 300 million in the United States. It was supposed to be another one of those frat comedies that gets a decent profit, raises a few eyebrows, and becomes instantly quotable. Instead, we have the most successful R-rated comedy in history, and we have a movie that outgrossed even Star Trek. In my opinion, the movie isn’t an instant classic nor is it a comedy that stands tall as one of the best in the decade, but it is one of the best-written comedies of the 2000s and easily the freshest. The premise is simple, yet hilarious. The execution is crude, yet full of unexpected hijinks and subtle suspense. This is easily the best surprise of the summer season.
Runner-up: The Proposal


2) Biggest Disappointment:
X-Men Origins: Wolverine
My Score: 6/10

The original award-winner was Transformers, however in the case of Transformers I should have seen it coming considering its Michael Bay. In the case of X-Men, its based off a franchise that has seen three successful movies, with none of them ever drifting too far into mediocre (with the third one being the closest). But, in here, we have too much naked Wolverine, too many characters with little time, butchering of classic comic book characters, questionable acting, bad editing, and a terrible ending (the one after the credits). The biggest bust was Gambit, one of the coolest comic book heroes of them all. The Gambit here lacks the look, accent, swagger, and the overall coolness that is Gambit.
Runner-Up: Transformers 2


3) Best Summer Popcorn Flick
Up
My Score: 9/10

Its not Transformers, and its not X-Men. Its not G.I. Joe, and its not Star Trek (because I hadn’t seen it—it’s the one blockbuster I missed). However, Up has more action than all the other movies I’ve mentioned (with the potential exception of Star Trek) and its sequences were well-drawn out and well-executed. Up wasn’t about the thrills, it was about moving on after tragedy, but it wasn’t without its share of peril and suspense. Up was the Pixar movie with the most action with The Incredibles, and like the 2005 animated action flick, Up delivers very well.
Runner-Up: There is none………


4) Best Fight
Transformers: Optimus Prime vs. Decepticons

The movie was a disappointing mess, but they did have one good action scene, and that’s when Optimus Prime engages in a showdown against multiple enemies. Too bad it ended so abruptly and stupidly.
Runner-Up: Funny People vs. its running time

And now, the final award, the best movie of the summer of 2009. Here are the results:


Runner Up #2: Ponyo

This cutesy animated movie has beautiful animation, beautiful music, nice pacing, and a cutesy factor that oozes all over the place. Unlike most American dubs within the past 48979783 years, this one wasn’t too bad thanks to Pixar’s everlong support of the Japanese animation studio behind the animated hit.


Runner Up #1: Inglorious Basterds

Quentin Tarantino knows how to weave a good movie, he’s proven this before. Now, he is butchering history by blending spaghetti western elements, false facts, over-the-top acting and dialogue to a World War II tale about Nazi-killers and Nazi-haters seeking bloody vengeance. This cup of rough tea isn’t for everybody, but its Tarantino, what did you expect?


Top Summer Movie: Up

For the third year in a row, Pixar has delivered the best movie of the summer. 2007 we had Ratatouille, which was a flawless indie flick at heart, edge out Hot Fuzz and Bourne Ultimatum. Then we had the should-have-been-nominated-for-best-picture Wall-E trouncing the summer flicks Dark Knight and Iron Man with its beautiful animation, superb storytelling, and overall quality.

What makes Up the top movie of the summer? The animation, the music, the action, the characters, the writing, and the deep sentimental value that is among the richest you’ll see this entire decade. The opening 10 minutes were among the most heart-wrenching in animated history, but countering it is Dug and Kevin, two of among Pixar’s funniest and most entertaining creations. Add to that a crazy villain, an epic final showdown, a very moving scene toward the climax (*snif*…that book….), and a delightful ending. Up’s deep depressing scenes (that may traumatize the strongest of kids and maybe even some adults) and rather slow first act prevent it from being a 10/10 work of art, but it was darn close.

If you have not seen this movie, you have to do yourself a favor and rent it whenever its out on DVD. Its already #1 in my Netflix queue, as it’s a film I will show as many people as possible, simply because it’s a beautiful film about life and how to live it. Yes, the summer isn’t for these kinds of movies, but in an era we live in, its nice to see a movie studio provide such engaging filmmaking. Pixar, you’ve done it again.

Inglourious Basterds (2009) [8/10]

Inglourious Basterds (2009)
I do not remember this event happening that way in the history books..., 22 September 2009

In all of Hollywood, there is no other man that enjoys cinema as much as Quentin Tarantino. With much subtle glee he writes and directs films that defy any genre that exists, defy any unwritten rules that are made about film-making, and ultimately gives hopes to your typical film geeks that despite your ability to quote and reference obscure movies that nobody else has watched, you too can become a major success story. He is a film dork's hero, and he is most likely well aware of this. With his latest film, Inglorious Basterds (Title loosely taken from an obscure 1978 flick you most likely have not seen), he takes the warfare/Nazism genre and injects it with a major dose of spaghetti western flavor and a stronger dosage of inaccuracy.

The movie itself has been a pet project of Tarantino's for quite some time. The end result is a crazy flick that mixes war drama with heavy western tension, dark comedy, and the same hyper violence that you've come to expect with Tarantino fare. It's a take it or leave it kind of deal; if you could barely tolerate Kill Bill, Pulp Fiction, or Death Proof, then Inglorious Basterds will indeed frustrate and perhaps even confuse you. Otherwise, if you are a fan of his work, then you'll appreciate it much more. While Basterds lacks the pop culture fun of Pulp Fiction, the intense action of Kill Bill, or an eternally memorable character (like Bill, Stuntman Mike, Jules, Pai Mei), the film is full of tension, entertaining drama, rich surprises, and an ability to keep you entertained.

Inglorious Basterds follows a group of Jewish-American soldiers (led by Brad Pitt) hell-bent on annihilating any Nazi they cross paths with, and find themselves with a golden opportunity to end the war once and for all. This opportunity comes with a screening of a German film in a small movie theater led by a Jewish woman (Mélanie Laurent) whom saw her family mercilessly murdered upon the direction of a cruel detective (Christoph Waltz). Several characters and plot twists later, the film ends on a crazy finale that will whether frustrate you or satisfy you to the maximum. Let's just say World War II is not a dramatic event here, it's just a setting.

Tarantino's best strength lies in his writing, not his directing. In his films, he creates many absurd characters that are larger-than-life, and also fills them up with crazy actions, crazier dialogue, and insane conclusions. Almost all his movies have that one epically-written scene (Reservoir: the introduction, Pulp Fiction: final Mexican standoff, Kill Bill: the Superman monologue). In here, the opening sequence sets the mood of the movie right away: tense, crazy, over-the-top, and quite emotionally-driven. The opening scene nearly mirrors that of the first time you see Angel Eyes in The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly. Another fun thing about Tarantino's writing is the amount of film references you see sprinkled throughout the 150-plus minutes. Few writers implement more details than this man. Seeing every movie at a video store definitely has its rewards.

Another amazing thing about Quentin is how he can manage to pull off incredible performances from the most random of people. Mike Myers is one grand example, and the underrated Diane Kruger (National Treasure) is another. Then there's the always-reliable Brad Pitt, and the scene-stealing performance of Christoph Waltz as the unpredictably smart Nazi detective. I hope there's at least one Oscar nomination in acting from this movie otherwise the snub card can be used.

The fact of the matter is, Inglorious Baterds is a violent film that breaks all kinds of rules (film-making and historical). Those that are looking for a historical war film should search elsewhere. Those with weak constitutions and those with a little more sensitivity in their blood should avoid this. The morality of this movie was heavily questioned. But it's a film called Inglorious Basterds, what else did you expect? The line between hero and villain is obscure, heroes are seen without mercy, and even the victims get their chance at revenge. Its a dog-eat-dog movie in which karma doesn't hit all the players in the field. The in-your-face attitude of Tarantino is all-to-present here, as we have over-the-top characters in over-the-top situations for two and a half hours. The movie plays like a roller coaster ride with a very intense yet abrupt ending.

Bottom Line: There isn't as much action here as there was in Kill Bill. There wasn't as much comedy as you would find in Pulp Fiction. And the grittiness of Reservoir Dogs isn't here too. This isn't his best movie, but darn it even a mediocre movie from Tarantino is about the same value as a good summer flick. While the movie may warrant a second viewing to truly capture the madness, Inglorious Basterds is a crazy time in an alternate universe where World War II is hosting a different set of rules, events, and conclusions. By the end of it all, you'll prefer this version over the version the history books have. There is nobody that loves film-making and genre-bending more than Tarantino, and this movie is just the latest example in an interesting career.

Its fun, exciting, very tense (In a Leone kind of way), and has plenty of good music, good surprises, good performances, and plenty of well-directed scenes. In the heap of disappointing 2009 summer movies, we finally have one that rise above mediocrity because of the effort, attention, and care given to the production. Good work Tarantino, you've mind warped another group of moviegoers with your forever-bending genres and forever-mad stories.

The Evolving Gender of the Magic Kingdom

As you all know, the D23 Expo announced this massive expansion being done to Walt Disney World, that not only eliminates the poorly-visited Toontown Fair, but pretty much doubles the size of Fantasyland. The different themed lands WITHIN the themed land include places from Beauty and the Beast, Cinderella, Sleeping Beauty, the Tinkerbell movies, and Little Mermaid. From the sounds of it there will be one major attraction addition (Little Mermaid), many more interactions with the princesses, and a larger version of Dumbo’s popular ride. All of this is exclusive to the Magic Kingdom, after all, Disneyland has bested us so many times before (They got Nemo, Star Tours, Innoventions, new Space Mountain, etc.) so finally the Florida folks have something to be excited about. Of course, this news comes to counter the Harry Potter land that’s fast-approaching in Universal Studios. Will all this expanding strip away from the potential audience rushing to Harry Potter? The potential is definitely there, as this is the biggest expansion in the history of the Magic Kingdom and easily the biggest addition to any Disney World since the inclusion of Animal Kingdom back in 1998.

The rumors had been around for a long time, but the fact that it’s actually true is ringing good news into the hearts of the die-hard Disney fans that were so sure that the higher-ups had forgotten how to try to improve what’s already there. So, to recap, Walt Disney World has Space Mountain II coming out, Star Tours II (Year 2011ish), and an entirely new Fantasyland. It’s been a good month for Disney fanatics. However, with all this good news, one has to wonder: what about the boys?

Fantasyland has all these princesses, and then a Tinkerbell section, and then a Little Mermaid ride. What to the boys get? Star Tours II. And Marvel---which doesn’t do any good since we have to respect the partnership they have with Universal. The poor young and teenage boys have definitely gotten the short straw since the expansion is highly appealing to only one of the genders, leaving the boys with an updated Space Mountain and that’s about it. No news to expand Frontierland, no news to improve the underrated Tom Sawyer’s Island. No news to actually provide more pirate stuff (that doesn’t involve dress-up and only dress-up) to appeal to the boys. Why not make Frontierland a bit manlier? Why not provide an equal amount of attention to appeal to the male species? And why on earth has Epcot not received a facelift of this magnitude? Wait, that’s off topic.

The point is, the expansion is nice and all, but the appeal isn’t mainstream and widespread, it’s limited to the female gender. From an economic standpoint, it makes sense, after all the gals spend more than the guys (this isn’t sexist, this is true, look it up yourself and look at the failure of the Pirate and Princess Party as proof). Yet, its still bad news for Little Timmy, whom has to accompany his sister Little Suzie for about three hours as she wants to visit every princess out there. Yes, the boys do like the princesses (boys will be boys after all), but the feministic appeal in Fantasyland will begin to dwell and bother the kids. And what about the dads? They’ll be dead-tired too. The girls should be giddy with absolute excitement; but the boys have little to cheer about.

Bottom Line: A much-needed and long-overdue Magic Kingdom expansion is finally underway, but not all will be absolutely happy. The expansion looks amazing, looks very detailed, and definitely looks like it will improve one of the best overall theme parks in the entire planet. But while the girls in the world will have their wildest dreams coming true, the boys don’t have necessarily much to cheer about; unless they love the princesses as well. Adding salt to the wound is how the only section in this new Fantasyland that was even geared towards the boys is the Gaston section. Check that, the only thing for the guys is the villains. Way to reinforce the stereotypical cliché of boys being boys and always doing harm to the girls. I say, Disney, please focus on the boys too, there are indeed male Disney fans; even if it does pale in comparison to the amount of females that heart Disney to the core.

Make Epcot or Hollywood Studios a bit more for the boys. Or, introduce a theme park that will appeal more to the boys. Magic Kingdom has been conquered by the gals, so let’s make something for the guys too.


You already took away Pleasure Island an------I’ll stop.

(Credit of this Image belongs to: http://www.subsonicradio.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=5722 )

This is now about a piece of sith.

This post is now dedicated to Kanye West, whom after last night’s events has emerged as one of the biggest pricks in the history of music. I have followed the douchebagness of West ever since his reign of arrogance started. However, I have never seen him stoop this low. As a matter of fact, I have never seen any sort of musical artist stoop this low. The last time such a prick move was handed in the music world was when Michael Jackson backstabbed Paul McCartney back in the 80s and bought all the Beatles music. My response to him stealing the microphone from Taylor Swift, announcing that she should not have won, and then walking away was this: “Are you kidding me?”

How does ANYONE in the music industry support this man? Why does anyone even follow his music, productions, and life in general? Well, I for one am sick of it. I am sick of everyone just letting him clown around, offend people, say stupid garbage, and also prowl around his racist ways. He must be reminded that there are indeed other people in this world and he must be reminded that he isn’t God.

From now on, I will protest his music. I will protest all his work. He’s rather overrated now, but until that prick can calm down and see the light, I refuse to even consider listening to any of his overplayed, overrated, arrogant, self-centered, hypocritical, repetitive, repulsive trash. If you want to join me in this banning of self-centered dog dung, that’s great. If you still forgive him (despite it being his fifth or sixth outburst at an awards ceremony) well, I applaud you for looking in the other direction and denying the filth within.

So, tell your friends, neighbors, brothers, sisters, parents, grandparents, cousins, aunts, uncles, dogs, cats, fleas, kids, grandkids, great-grandkids, and total strangers: Say NO to Kanye.

He must be stopped.

The Best Superhero Films of All-Time

In honor of Disney’s attempt-to-take-over-the-entertainment-world-buy-purchasing-the-only-decent-comic-book-company-worth-noting brouhaha, I have compiled a list of the greatest superhero films ever created for cinema. Now, there are more superheroes then one would think, and they are most certainly not limited to only the Marvel or DC realm. While there have been many many comic book movies over the years, there’s still plenty of room for improvement, and hundreds of characters to be introduced to audiences around the world. In the meantime, here are the 10 you should definitely watch:

Special Mention:
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (So, so close, but you must give this movie a watch. Its 80s campy fun)


#10: Wanted
Year: 2008

In this deliciously painful film, we follow a cynically sarcastic blue-collar worker rise above the ranks to become an incredible assassin. However, his superhero skills took forever to take off because of his inability to see anything special in himself. Then add to that the brutal beatdowns he had to participate in. Wanted works because it’s a nice blend of subtle sarcasm with comic book action, intense car chases, and juicy plot twists. If none of that excites you, there’s always Angelina Jolie….

#9: The Mask of Zorro
Year: 1998

Of all the movies on this list, Mask of Zorro has easily the best chemistry of them all. The interactions between Zorro and Elena (Catherine Zeta-Jones..mmmm…) alone makes this a delightful viewing. I guess we can add the wonderful fights, excellent music, good acting, and beautiful cinematography…right?

#8: Iron Man
Year: 2008

Sometimes, all it takes is a very good lead to carry a superhero flick. In this case, the highly underrated Robert Downey Jr. gives us the performance of a lifetime as he blends the suave and egotistical mannerisms of a playboy with the gritty determination of a man who wants to save the world. Iron Man’s appeal is because of the everyday-man persona; Tony didn’t develop powers or obtained them by birth. He built his powers from the ground up, and the movie does an excellent job showcasing his rise to hero-hood. Here’s to hoping that Iron Man 2 can contain twice as much action though.

#7: The Dark Knight
Year: 2008

Now I know everyone is going to go bananas on this pick. The Dark Knight, not the best? And at a low #7? Here’s the truth: I did not enjoy the movie as much as everyone else did back in 2008, and in 2009 the opinion remains. The Dark Knight is an intense movie full of memorable performances and incredible moments. Of course, Heath Ledger gives his most amazing performance here. Despite all that, this Batman movie isn’t the best (Continue reading list), isn’t the darkest (Batman Returns), isn’t the most accurate (Batman: Mask of the Phantasm), and overall, isn’t even the most visually appealing Batman (See: 1989 version). It is good, and it’s the 7th best I’ve ever seen, but it won’t go any higher.

#6: Batman Forever
Year: 1995

Instead of explaining why its #6, I shall explain (because I am sure everyone is asking for it) how it’s better than Dark Knight:

1) Better soundtrack
2) In this movie there is at least an attempt to create a version of Gotham
3) Batman doesn’t have a raspy voice
4) More action
5) More accurate
6) Better Batmobile
7) Better 1-2 villain combination (Dark Knight had an amazing Joker, but a superbly sub-par Two-Face and Scarecrow)
8) Jim Carrey and Tommy Lee Jones does an even better job scene-stealing than Heath Ledger, whether you like it or not
9) Better ending


Batman Forever isn’t perfect, but its still a very fun comic book movie with some serious undertones and an overall whimsical package of action, comedy, romance, and drama. Would have been even better if Warner Brothers hadn’t edited the extra 22 minutes that does a better job explaining the movie and Batman’s motives.

#5: Spider-Man
Year: 2002

After years of fighting, legal mumbo-jumbo, and constant attempts, 2002 was finally able to see a serious attempt at a Spider-Man film. The movie definitely worked, and its mostly because of the special effects, Sam Raimi’s directing skills, and the ability to blend action, comedy, romance, and drama to the tale. The New York flavor only enhances the movie, and the Green Goblin was definitely no joke. While the movie is easily not the most realistic of the superhero genre, its emotional impact is just as effective as any Batman movie. It was a grand start to a money-making franchise with many hits, and few misses.

#4: Unbreakable
Year: 2000

The most underappreciated, underrated, and least popular in the list, Unbreakable is a deep engaging drama about a man who could potentially be a nearly-invincible superhero with many powers. Before M. Night became a joke and a hack, he delivered a remarkable story that asks what would happen if Superman is unaware that he is Superman. Samuel L. Jackson and Bruce Willis provide some of their best performances here, as this film is not to be missed.

#3: The Incredibles
Year: 2004

Watchman, a mediocre movie that came out earlier this year, is a look at the life of superheroes after the superhero stuff is over. The Incredibles is what Watchman should have been. While this movie isn’t based off of any comic book or DC/Marvel creation, The Incredibles has all the elements needed for a grand superhero film: massive action set pieces, deep engaging storylines, a bit of drama, good amount of humor, and a down-to-earth attitude that we can all loosely relate to. The Incredibles isn’t exactly Pixar’s best, but it does stand tall as one of the better comic book movies of all-time. Plus, any movie with Edna Mode earns more points.

P.S. The villain was also awesome.

#2: Batman
Year: 1989

The movie is dated. I know. There is Prince music. I know. Batman does have a gun. I know. However, this is the best of the Batman movies, and does the best job resembling Batman whether you like it or not. We can start with the incredible set pieces and scenery that resembles a hellish city full of gothic and borderline-demonic colors and shades. Then we can throw in the Joker and Jack Nicholson’s spell-binding performance. While Ledger’s Joker was quite sinister, the 1989 Batman had literally the first really gothic and grim interpretation of the Joker, whom was usually more of an immature street punk criminal prior to this. Then there’s the soundtrack, my goodness could Danny Elfman weave a good theme song. Last but not least, there’s Michael Keaton whom can pull off an intimidating Batman and a charismatic (in a weird kind of way) Bruce Wayne.

This Batman is the best, remains the best, and shall continue being the best until Warner Brothers learns to drop the Godfather-crime drama-like storylines and give us stories that more resemble the comic books. Of course, after making a billion, I doubt they will change a thing. In the meantime, this is the one Batman movie that started it all, and remains one of the better American movies of all-time.

#1: Spider-Man 2
Year: 2004



Excellent villain? Check. Borrows from a great comic book storyline? Check. Plenty of drama and tension? Check. Unpredictability? Check. A bit of horror? Check. Plenty of humor? Check. Great acting? Check. Improving upon the original in every possible way? Check.

Spider-Man 2 is one of the best sequels of all-time, and remains the top dollar of the superhero movies. Peter Parker, despite having something we can’t relate to, goes through a barrage of emotions that we can definitely relate to. Spider-Man 2 has it all: great music, incredible action, Oscar-winning special effects, and an overall funfactor that just beats any other superhero film out there. It’s the complete package, and is a must-see film. Such a shame that Spider-Man 3 turned out to be such a disappointment and also managed to ruin some of the dramatic issues in part 2. I usually neglect the existence of part 3, and continue praising part 2. This is Sam Raimi at his best, and comic book movies at its peak.